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mellymel
04-08-2014, 07:23 PM
Sometimes I feel like the worst parent ever because my biggest accomplishment for the day was getting through the day with my sanity somewhat in tact.

I do things with my daughter and spend time with her but there are days where emotionally I am not there. She is growing up so fast I just want to live in these years, completely. All of me. And for some reason that is so very hard to do.

That's all. Just needed to get that off my mind.

jason123
04-08-2014, 07:42 PM
I'm not a parent but when I was a child my aunt that practically raised my sister and I had the same issues. I thought she was being dry because she didn't care about me but one day she decided to tell my sister and I everything that was going on with her and she told us that it's not because she loved us less or anything like that and we understood it wasn't our fault. The point I'm trying to make is if you feel like your daughter is feeling neglected talk to her (if you haven't already) about what's going on with you I was 6 when my aunt told me that and I understood completely. Communication is very important I wish my mom communicated with me about those things but was to business with other things. I hope you feel better :)

P.s you are not the worst mother in the world I have seen my fair share of bad parenting the fact that you care enough about your daughter that it pains you to not be able to fully be there, shows what a good mother you are. :)

mellymel
04-08-2014, 09:32 PM
I'm not a parent but when I was a child my aunt that practically raised my sister and I had the same issues. I thought she was being dry because she didn't care about me but one day she decided to tell my sister and I everything that was going on with her and she told us that it's not because she loved us less or anything like that and we understood it wasn't our fault. The point I'm trying to make is if you feel like your daughter is feeling neglected talk to her (if you haven't already) about what's going on with you I was 6 when my aunt told me that and I understood completely. Communication is very important I wish my mom communicated with me about those things but was to business with other things. I hope you feel better :) P.s you are not the worst mother in the world I have seen my fair share of bad parenting the fact that you care enough about your daughter that it pains you to not be able to fully be there, shows what a good mother you are. :)

Thank you! My daughter is only three so I can't explain it to her just yet. She knows that I love her very much, I just wish I could feel completely happy. I try to but I literally don't know how to let go and just live in the moment.

jason123
04-08-2014, 10:13 PM
Ditto,

I feel like I'm using all my time and energy trying to hold my sanity LOL, let it go! If you are anything like me then you feel like your holding your sanity and it's creating a very uncomfortable feeling. My advice is to take a deep breath and let all that built up worry about insanity or sanity go and stop thinking about it thoughts are just thoughts they have zero power they cannot cause anything all they do is make us worry. Wish you the best :)

mellymel
04-09-2014, 06:49 PM
Ditto, I feel like I'm using all my time and energy trying to hold my sanity LOL, let it go! If you are anything like me then you feel like your holding your sanity and it's creating a very uncomfortable feeling. My advice is to take a deep breath and let all that built up worry about insanity or sanity go and stop thinking about it thoughts are just thoughts they have zero power they cannot cause anything all they do is make us worry. Wish you the best :)

Oh the sanity thing is old news for me, I have a new obsession! Lol :)

SSMommy
04-09-2014, 07:35 PM
Mellymel -

Hi there... My name is Becky. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and I can relate to what you wrote. Day to day stuff is draining sometimes. I think that is especially true for people struggling with depression or anxiety. If you think about it, it takes more effort to do things that are simple for others. It becomes exhausting and well by the time that you've got mommy daughter time it's sometimes turns into 'zone out' time. I relate to your post and just wanted to say you are not alone.

mellymel
04-09-2014, 07:57 PM
Mellymel - Hi there... My name is Becky. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and I can relate to what you wrote. Day to day stuff is draining sometimes. I think that is especially true for people struggling with depression or anxiety. If you think about it, it takes more effort to do things that are simple for others. It becomes exhausting and well by the time that you've got mommy daughter time it's sometimes turns into 'zone out' time. I relate to your post and just wanted to say you are not alone.

Hi Becky, my name is Melissa :) yes I def do the zone out thing. And always so scared or worried or obsessing, that it's hard for me to completely be happy or content. I hate feeling that way around her. It makes me sad.

stephanie21
04-09-2014, 11:05 PM
I've been feeling like this a lot lately as well
My lil guy is 2 1/2 I started having severe anxiety an panic when he was 10 months old :(
So since then I have really been feeling like I'm not 100% there
I have bad days
Crying/feeling sick/panicking/zoned out thinking for hours I'm going to be like this forever
Then I tell myself I'm a horrible mom
I can't even take my son to the store/park/amusement park/ movies because my anxiety/panic is so bad
I almost feel like I need to be babysat :/
I'm down about it often
I feel for you an can relate
It feels good to vent to people who are going through similar struggles

needtogetwell
04-10-2014, 04:25 AM
Hi Mel,

I can relate so well, even if it was over 10 years ago. That was the peak of my depression/ anxiety days and simply making it through an hour was so difficult! My son had just gotten his formal diagnosis of autism.

One thing that his specialists told me really stuck with me.....none of us remember the intricate details of every day, what we do remember is those routines, bath time, story time etc.

If you can spend 15 minutes a day, something that is just you and daughter time, and do it every day, that will mean more over the years than trying to amass all those mundane day to day hours!

You are a great Mom! Believe it!
Cheers
Pam

mellymel
04-10-2014, 08:00 AM
Thank you so much for that Pam, it really made me feel better. We always do things together, we are always together too. So I guess when looking back the main thing is to focus on all the good times we share and to continue doing those things with her. Thank you again so much. I needed to hear just that :)

needtogetwell
04-10-2014, 02:56 PM
Thank you so much for that Pam, it really made me feel better. We always do things together, we are always together too. So I guess when looking back the main thing is to focus on all the good times we share and to continue doing those things with her. Thank you again so much. I needed to hear just that :)

We have the anxiety issue to deal with, we try to look into the future. Just keep in mind that today is all that is important! The future will take care of itself!

Treasure these years! They are gone way too fast!
Pam :)

Fourteen14
04-10-2014, 02:58 PM
We have the anxiety issue to deal with, we try to look into the future. Just keep in mind that today is all that is important! The future will take care of itself! Treasure these years! They are gone way too fast! Pam :)

Thanks for this post Pam, it's exactly what I needed to read today. :)