Anxious in class around professors

[kristydani]

I'm a 19-year-old university student and this problem has been making my school life hell. I know it sounds stupid but I just need someone who can understand me. I suffer from anxiety in general and am on medication for it, but my anxiety is always intensified whenever I have class. Particularly when I have very attractive, young, male tutors (I have a lot of them). I know it's stupid but I always find myself becoming attracted to these young, cute men. The ones I have felt attracted to have been in their late twenties/early thirties. I always try to stop myself and remind myself that I'm being ridiculous, but it never helps.

I become an anxious mess, and I usually go red and feel incredibly awkward. For instance - today in class we were doing a test and my tutor was walking around the room. Then I felt him looking at me a few times. Then I felt my face and neck turning all red and hot. This not only impairs my ability to talk normally to the tutor himself but also my ability to talk to other classmates and join in with group discussions. I then I get into this state inside my head where I think I must look horrible, and I don't want to talk to anyone because I feel so self-conscious, and I just want to get out of the classroom. I am anxious just being in class as it is, and then having this anxiety around the teachers just makes everything a million times worse.

How can I control my feelings and my anxiety in class? Can anyone relate?

[Matsya]

Hi Kristydani,

I can relate to your problem. Myself got anxious around professors too. Not specifically young attractive men, but around the older very wise ones.
What can I say? For me they were like very impressionate rolmodels, to which, I felt, I couldnt come close to. But, because you are a 19 year old girl,
and you feel anxious around late 20's early 30's male professors, I get the impression this has got something to do with relationship anxiety?
After all, a good looking, smart and young professor might just be the ideal mate. Maybe im off, and there are no romantic feelings involved, just correct me.

Now, I did something very silly during the times I was extremely anxious in class. I would visualize the situation, me, the class, the teacher, the topic.
When doing so, I would change all these variables, so the picture and ideas in my mind would reflect nothing about the situation anymore.

For example, I would change the people to ducks. Then I would change their voices into squicky (the sound ducks make? like donald duck) ones.
I would change the topic into something completely rediculous, something I couldnt take serious. Doing this I would keep creatively change the situation.

What this did for me was: I just couldnt take myself serious. The idea of me getting anxious because of a duck, or being a duck would be to preposterous.

I would visualise me embarrasing myself, and all that could happen. But making it as funny as possible. Take the hard edge of the situation.

I know it can be hard to sit in class when feeling so anxious. But I would highly advise you to just keep going, and somehow to try to take things not too serious.
I hope sincerely you will find a way to start enjoying going to class and talking to these professors.

Take care,
Matsya

[kristydani]

Hi Kristydani,

I can relate to your problem. Myself got anxious around professors too. Not specifically young attractive men, but around the older very wise ones.
What can I say? For me they were like very impressionate rolmodels, to which, I felt, I couldnt come close to. But, because you are a 19 year old girl,
and you feel anxious around late 20's early 30's male professors, I get the impression this has got something to do with relationship anxiety?
After all, a good looking, smart and young professor might just be the ideal mate. Maybe im off, and there are no romantic feelings involved, just correct me.

Now, I did something very silly during the times I was extremely anxious in class. I would visualize the situation, me, the class, the teacher, the topic.
When doing so, I would change all these variables, so the picture and ideas in my mind would reflect nothing about the situation anymore.

For example, I would change the people to ducks. Then I would change their voices into squicky (the sound ducks make? like donald duck) ones.
I would change the topic into something completely rediculous, something I couldnt take serious. Doing this I would keep creatively change the situation.

What this did for me was: I just couldnt take myself serious. The idea of me getting anxious because of a duck, or being a duck would be to preposterous.

I would visualise me embarrasing myself, and all that could happen. But making it as funny as possible. Take the hard edge of the situation.

I know it can be hard to sit in class when feeling so anxious. But I would highly advise you to just keep going, and somehow to try to take things not too serious.
I hope sincerely you will find a way to start enjoying going to class and talking to these professors.

Take care,
Matsya

Hi Matsya,

Thanks for your response. I don't really think this has anything to do with being anxious about relationships in general, because in the past my anxiety has never really affected my ability to get into relationships or talk to guys. But as I said in my post, I do become attracted to these tutors because, quite frankly, they are young, attractive and intelligent. And you're right - someone like one of these young professors is exactly the type of guy I'd love to be with. But of course I can't be, because they are in a position of authority as a teacher. Thank you for your advice - I guess I just have to think... what's the worst that could happen in these classes? Nothing really that bad. I just don't know why I feel so anxious around them. Maybe it is simply because I find them attractive but know that they're off limits, so that makes me feel bad. I have no idea. It's just this really weird authority complex I have, I think.