PDA

View Full Version : Help for my sister



amielou
04-02-2014, 05:58 PM
I've posted quite a lot on here about my own anxiety problems but i wanted some advice on some help with my sister. My sister has always been a happy, positive, fun loving person, we have the same group of friends and have always been the best of friends. We have a lot of mental health problems in my family, my dad has suffered, as has his mum and her mum with depression and other issues and as a result me and my sister both suffer from anxiety and bouts of depression. Around a year ago she got a new boyfriend, he's a nice guy but you know when you don't think their right for the person you care about? 6 months into the relationship things started to get a bit weird, it was very intense and he would get annoyed if she spoke to our male friends, was late to a party or didn't text her back straight away, I was always there so support my sister and she would call me at all hours for advice.

My sister runs a business with 2 of our best friends, it was something she always wanted to do and was a huge part of her life before she met her boyfriend as were our two friends. Around 6 months ago things started to change, my sister and our friends were going on a buying trip and her boyfriend gave her so much grief for it she struggled to enjoy it and felt guilty when good things happened for the business. They argued non stop during the trip and even when they came back it was ridiculous! Over christmas things seem to settle down but I noticed how she seemed to be distancing herself from us, not making as much effort with us as friends, not replying to messages, not involving herself with us like she always had done. By the time it got to January she seemed so sad and distant we barely recognised her, every time I tried to talk to her and see what was wrong she wouldn't say anything, she defended her boyfriend completely saying I didn't like him and I was trying to control her, even though I was just concerned.

Fast forward a few months and she pulled out of the business out of the blue, a business she started from scratch and worked her ass off for over the past 3 years. My friends are devastated they don't know how they'll cope without her, feel let down by her as a friend and are so sad that she's chosen to do this. I'm so worried I feel like she's not herself and isn't thinking clearly because of this boyfriend. The nature of the business means she's away quite a bit and doesn't have the 9-5 lifestyle her boyfriend wants her to have and i'm scared she's giving it up for him even though she won't admit it. When she talks to me she doesn't seem like herself and doesn't seem interested in anything other than her boyfriend, his friends and his interests. I feel like he's brainwashed her!

I know as a sister I need to stand by and support her but i'm so scared she's going to regret this and realise when it's too late

needtogetwell
04-02-2014, 06:15 PM
I've posted quite a lot on here about my own anxiety problems but i wanted some advice on some help with my sister. My sister has always been a happy, positive, fun loving person, we have the same group of friends and have always been the best of friends. We have a lot of mental health problems in my family, my dad has suffered, as has his mum and her mum with depression and other issues and as a result me and my sister both suffer from anxiety and bouts of depression. Around a year ago she got a new boyfriend, he's a nice guy but you know when you don't think their right for the person you care about? 6 months into the relationship things started to get a bit weird, it was very intense and he would get annoyed if she spoke to our male friends, was late to a party or didn't text her back straight away, I was always there so support my sister and she would call me at all hours for advice. My sister runs a business with 2 of our best friends, it was something she always wanted to do and was a huge part of her life before she met her boyfriend as were our two friends. Around 6 months ago things started to change, my sister and our friends were going on a buying trip and her boyfriend gave her so much grief for it she struggled to enjoy it and felt guilty when good things happened for the business. They argued non stop during the trip and even when they came back it was ridiculous! Over christmas things seem to settle down but I noticed how she seemed to be distancing herself from us, not making as much effort with us as friends, not replying to messages, not involving herself with us like she always had done. By the time it got to January she seemed so sad and distant we barely recognised her, every time I tried to talk to her and see what was wrong she wouldn't say anything, she defended her boyfriend completely saying I didn't like him and I was trying to control her, even though I was just concerned. Fast forward a few months and she pulled out of the business out of the blue, a business she started from scratch and worked her ass off for over the past 3 years. My friends are devastated they don't know how they'll cope without her, feel let down by her as a friend and are so sad that she's chosen to do this. I'm so worried I feel like she's not herself and isn't thinking clearly because of this boyfriend. The nature of the business means she's away quite a bit and doesn't have the 9-5 lifestyle her boyfriend wants her to have and i'm scared she's giving it up for him even though she won't admit it. When she talks to me she doesn't seem like herself and doesn't seem interested in anything other than her boyfriend, his friends and his interests. I feel like he's brainwashed her! I know as a sister I need to stand by and support her but i'm so scared she's going to regret this and realise when it's too late

Amielou,

You are a very loving and caring sister! She is lucky to have you.

You probably can't do much to help her right at the moment. She likely knows how you feel, but right now doesn't see she has a problem. You can't make her see, all you can do is be there for her when it all starts to fall apart. And I bet you know it will.

Hang in there and be the best sister you can be. Support her wherever you can.

The tides will turn eventually and then she will need you more than ever!

Cheers
Pam