Anxiety/Dependence on Relationships

[acolarusso]

Hi there!

I'm a young college student and I have struggled with my GAD for quite a while now. For the most part I can keep it under control and it's isn't too pervasive in my life, but there are some areas where I still struggle quite a bit.

The anxiety that I do have generally revolves around relationships. For quite a while I wanted to have a solid, promising relationship, and my anxiety and panics would be triggered when things didn't necessarily go well in my relationships (or dating situations that were leading to relationships). I've now been in a relationship for about two months now, but I'm not finding relief in the comfort of being in a relationship. I still find myself anxious and worried about the future of the relationship, even though nothing is necessarily going wrong in my relationship.

I tend to over think things (go figure) and make assumptions that things may be going wrong, when in actuality things reasonably seem to be great. Of course, my anxious mind keeps me from thinking or seeing the positive aspects, and I continue to doubt the intentions and actions in my relationship.

My concern is that my anxiety will get in the way and I will just make things worse than they are, or make something bad that isn't bad at all. I've also gotten to the point where I'm almost dependent on my relationship to keep me sane. I feel so out of control of my own emotions and worry, and knowing that my relationship is going well keeps me calm and satisfied. But the problem obviously comes in when I assume that my relationship isn't going well, just because I occasionally assume the worst.

What I'm looking for is just any insight or guidance anyone can give about feeling more secure in my relationship and helping to keep the anxiety in check. I am absolutely in love with the relationship I have created, and I don't want my anxiety about it to keep me from enjoying it or, worst case scenario, leading to the end of my relationship. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[After5hock]

Hi there!

I'm a young college student and I have struggled with my GAD for quite a while now. For the most part I can keep it under control and it's isn't too pervasive in my life, but there are some areas where I still struggle quite a bit.

The anxiety that I do have generally revolves around relationships. For quite a while I wanted to have a solid, promising relationship, and my anxiety and panics would be triggered when things didn't necessarily go well in my relationships (or dating situations that were leading to relationships). I've now been in a relationship for about two months now, but I'm not finding relief in the comfort of being in a relationship. I still find myself anxious and worried about the future of the relationship, even though nothing is necessarily going wrong in my relationship.

I tend to over think things (go figure) and make assumptions that things may be going wrong, when in actuality things reasonably seem to be great. Of course, my anxious mind keeps me from thinking or seeing the positive aspects, and I continue to doubt the intentions and actions in my relationship.

My concern is that my anxiety will get in the way and I will just make things worse than they are, or make something bad that isn't bad at all. I've also gotten to the point where I'm almost dependent on my relationship to keep me sane. I feel so out of control of my own emotions and worry, and knowing that my relationship is going well keeps me calm and satisfied. But the problem obviously comes in when I assume that my relationship isn't going well, just because I occasionally assume the worst.

What I'm looking for is just any insight or guidance anyone can give about feeling more secure in my relationship and helping to keep the anxiety in check. I am absolutely in love with the relationship I have created, and I don't want my anxiety about it to keep me from enjoying it or, worst case scenario, leading to the end of my relationship. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

I have really bad relationship anxiety, and start feeling the same way all the time. I haven't been able to get it under control, but I have become more open with my partner about it all. I tell him when I start feeling like I'm doing something wrong, and he lets me know that things are fine. I've been so nervous that he'll get fed up with me, and think that I'm annoying.. instead, he proposed. Lol. People surprise us.. have you talk with your partner about how you feel sometimes? Maybe if you explain a little of what's going on that they could help you to settle your nerves some? Sorry if I'm of no help.. it's just that I know how you feel, and would feel like a jerk if I didn't offer some sort of advice.

[acolarusso]

I have really bad relationship anxiety, and start feeling the same way all the time. I haven't been able to get it under control, but I have become more open with my partner about it all. I tell him when I start feeling like I'm doing something wrong, and he lets me know that things are fine. I've been so nervous that he'll get fed up with me, and think that I'm annoying.. instead, he proposed. Lol. People surprise us.. have you talk with your partner about how you feel sometimes? Maybe if you explain a little of what's going on that they could help you to settle your nerves some? Sorry if I'm of no help.. it's just that I know how you feel, and would feel like a jerk if I didn't offer some sort of advice.

That's a great help actually! I have talked to him previously about it, but not vey much in depth. I think it would be a good step for us to just sit down and talk about it so that he knows where I'm coming from and just so that I can get some reassurance. I know my thinking is often irrational, so usually I just need that little boost of confidence when he tells me things are really okay. Thanks again for your advice, and I hope all goes well in your relationship!

[After5hock]

That's a great help actually! I have talked to him previously about it, but not vey much in depth. I think it would be a good step for us to just sit down and talk about it so that he knows where I'm coming from and just so that I can get some reassurance. I know my thinking is often irrational, so usually I just need that little boost of confidence when he tells me things are really okay. Thanks again for your advice, and I hope all goes well in your relationship!

You're welcome. Glad I could help. :) Also, if you know that you are going to be nervous, make a check list of your key points to remember.

[jjh333]

I definitely see where you're coming from! I think the best way to deal with it would be talking with your partner and just being open about needing reassurances so you're not holding all your insecurities inside

[ashy]

I totally understand as well, I have relationship anxiety too. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and we are planning to get married next spring. I get particularly anxious if I feel that he is annoyed or upset with me. I guess I haven't really overcome it yet and I'm still learning. But I guess it takes building up trust, and trust is believing that he loves me even if in my head it doesn't feel like it. Some people show love in different ways, and sometimes it's not in the ways that we particularly crave. He shows me love by doing acts of service, and being a gentleman. But I particularly feel loved when he hugs me, rubs my back, and tells me sweet words. Try to tell your partner how you would like them to respond when you feel anxious, and how you feel really loved :)

[sgran002]

I suffer from the same problem. I'm scared that if me and my partner break away from each other that bad things will happen to me. It makes me really sad because I know he isn't the best guy for me but I'm so scared to be away from him.