Triumph over one now on to the next!

[Exactice]

Hey Gang, New here but wanted to share my thoughts. The doc said that a diary is always good. I have been lurking around and reading a couple of your stories. I will admit it has given some hope and I really appreciate it! I figured the least I could do is return the favor the best I can.

So a little back ground, In 2006 I returned from Iraq, 6 months later my father passed away and I began my spiral downwards. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Panic Disorder. My Fiancé left me and then I crawled into a bottle. Long story short battled that and did well no meds but 3 years with the VA and I was good!

So from 2009 to 2013 I have been good for 4 years and the only thing I had was trouble with elevators and airplanes (Triggers from my PTSD). A lot had gone on during this time but I was good, I started my own business, went back to school and got married at the end of 2013!

Now current about August 2013 I noticed I was having chest issues, narrowed it down to GERD (Acid Reflux) doc game me some meds for that. But one evening 11/30/2013 I couldnt sleep, the pressure in my chest got worse and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was having a panic attack. Now at the time I didnt think it was I thought something seriously was wrong. I ended up at the ER and heavily sedated. Docs ran a bunch of test and even did Stress test. All normal! But I didnt feel normal

The first week was rough I was so affected by that evening that I could not really sleep for a week. I was scared of another panic attack. I went to the doctors and they prescribed Alprozolam for those random attacks and recommended me to start a regimen of Buspirone.

I finally started sleeping well. I did a lot of trial and error with the panic attacks. I did hypnotherapy that worked a little, and then tried ignoring it but that made it worse.

Finally, I found a technique that really worked. In my reading Panic attacks is your misguided fight or flight mechanism. So what I did was I started to treat it like it was a little child. I would talk to it and nurture it. When it would come on I would imagine it was like a little kid throwing a tantrum. Tell it its going to be alright it will only be short term. I would ask it what is wrong and explain to it that its nothing. Take 2 nice deep breaths and then it would subside! For the first time I can say I have control of these panic attacks, more so I am not even afraid of them anymore when they come on!

Now…. Here comes the next challenge that I am facing currently. This anxiety has started to consume me. I never used to think about it nor care about it. Now it seems to be an everyday thing. If I am not distracting myself, it seems to jump in mind and remind me that its there. I began to fall into a bout with depression and talk to the doc. He then decided to give Fluoxitine (Prozac) a chance.

I was reading another thread about Prozac and this is why I started mine. I have been on it for 10 days now, I started with 1 tablet 10mg in the morning and tapering down on the buspirone from 3 times to 2 times. Currently I am on Prozac 2 times a day (breakfast and lunch) and off the buspirone completely.

My issues is last night I could not sleep, I started having a bunch of panic attacks and my thoughts were racing, from really bad thoughts to even the suicidal thoughts (no action just thoughts) It got me really scared.

Now the first 2 days of taking the prozac I was nervous but then the following 5 days seemed ok. But these last 3 days have been a little rough, I seem to have lost my appetite and this bout with sleep last night was a first in a little while.

So it seems that these side effects do take some time to get over, is this something I should accept or should I go talk to the doc? I am at work right now and feel fine nothing out of the ordinary but definitely scared of what happened last night.

Thanks in advance!

-Exactice-

[BrookeLynnnn]

Hi friend!!

I was on prozac for 2 weeks.. 2 days after the 1 week mark, I was having HORRIBLE anxiety. I couldn't handle it. I ended up at Urgent Care & was prescribe Xanax until the side effects wore off.. Xanax was a life saver!!

Ended up being that Prozac wasn't the med for me. But, it seems like you're having a normal side effect from it. I wish I could tell you how long it lasted for me but the Xanax took my anxiety away so I'm not sure.

Good luck though!! Try & stick it out :)

[Exactice]

Hey Brooke! Thanks for the insight. Yes last night I ended up taking an Alprozolam (Xanax) so that I could go to sleep. I slept fine after that, it was a little tough going to sleep.

I have been a little hesitant about medication in general so maybe this is the anxiety of it. I cant say its not working so I will give it a week longer and see, I probably need to adjust to it so hopefully it will get its thing going *fingers crossed* Thanks again!

-Exactice-

[Exactice]

Hey Brooke,
Thanks for the insight, I will keep my senses open. I will say I have been hesitant to using medicine to begin with so it might just be the anxiety of it. I will say on Friday that was one of the best days I have had in a long long time. Just last night was a set back. I cant say that its not working yet, as everyone here has stated its going to take some time I am sure. Lets see what next week brings! Thanks again =)

-Exactice-

[Exactice]

Hello again =)

They doctors note state, "Take 1 caples by mouth once daily for 1 week, then increase to 2 capsules daily"

Just following the doctors recommendation at this point. I wonder if I read this wrong too, should I be taking 2 capsules at the same time rather than splitting them up LOL. Yikes.

Thanks for the thread I am reading as we speak... ok on to day 11 so lets see what happens.

Ill keep this daily journal going as to see how it goes!

[Exactice]

So its about 8:20pm here in and I just finished dinner, its nice to have an appetite again. Hardest part tonight is my apprehension to go to sleep. Last night was pretty rough and I dont want to use any medicine to go to sleep. Tomorrow I will start taking the meds in the morning early so hopefully tonight is the only rough night of sleep I have to deal with. To bad because when I actually fall asleep I sleep well its just rough getting there.

Thank forwells for the tip as I am sure that is what the doc meant by instructions.

wish me luck for some easy sleep tonight.

-Exactice-

[Exactice]

Wk 2 of Prozac, Day 1 of taking 20mg in the morning.

So last night I ended up sleeping on the couch. Wasnt bad at all, I fell in and out of sleep, woke up at about 1:30am, figured out I was on the couch and went back to sleep.

Woke up this morning about 8:00 and felt a little irritable. Dont know why just did. Did my morning routine dropped the wife off at work decided if I wanted to go into work today, decided I would take a quick breather before heading to work. Driving back to work and now sitting here, I feel a little uncomfortable. Lots of thoughts racing through my head. Cant seem to get them out. Some anxious feelings, some feelings of what am I doing, what are my goals kind of thoughts. Other than that a normal day. Day by Day step by step I guess.

[Exactice]

Day 14 and Day 2 of 20mg in the morning, Slept like crap last night, Woke up every 2 hours. I feel super tired this morning. Also that irritability is back, but fortunately no racing thoughts. Couple things though my appetite is non existent again. Ate a small lunch and small dinner last night. Hope my appetite comes back. Right now I feel real anxious, I dont know why, just have that feeling. Hopefully it will subside on its own.

Another day, we shall see at least today is a little easier for me as I will be golfing with clients so more relaxing than work!

[Exactice]

Day 15 and Day 3 of 20mg. So I tried something different, I dont think it was a good idea but I tried. Since I was golfing with my clients I went out drinking with them, I drank to much..... Went home slept but was woken up about 5am couldnt sleep comfortably after that. Little hung over, little anxiety. Did my morning routine, went to a meeting and I feel fine. Still a little hung over I dont think I will do that again. But I feel pretty good, Best since the beginning of the week!

There is a small light and the end of the tunnel!!!!

[Exactice]

Just to let you know...... People.... do not drink while on Prozac especially within the first couple of weeks during this hellish period. I thought it would help me sleep but this is the hangover from hell. Fortunately I didnt have any negative thoughts or to bad of an anxiety attack, I actually felt pretty good, But the hang over feelings is rough. I also have the shakes and I have a feeling its from the metabolism of the AD due to the alcohol. Avoid drinking if possible......

[Exactice]

Day 16, Day 4 of 20mg. Slept good last night, Woke up twice but went back to sleep.. Almost 9 total hours of sleep!!!! Awesome!!!! Odd i was getting some odd twitching, but that might be those twitching when you are just about to fall asleep. Had a couple of small panic attacks in between the wake up at about 7am but fell back asleep real minor.

We shall see how the rest of the day goes. Not bad though seems like things are starting to stabilize!!!

[Exactice]

Day 18, Day 6 of 20mg in the morning. What an interesting weekend. So overall mood is much better, Appetite is normalizing some what. No real negative thoughts. I had a bout of anxiety through Sunday, but it was funny I challenged it.... and it went away. So that was pretty awesome. Funny thing though last night one of my older neighbors fell of his truck coming back from a trip while unloading his baggage. Ending up having to go ER and I had to help the wife, all this excitement at 12:00 in the morning. Was a little hard to go to sleep.

But all in all today I feel good, very positive and feeling good. Forwells if you can hear me things get better man!!!!!

[Exactice]

Sonnava.... night set back.....so random......was taking a shower and all of a sudden I had a bunch of crappy thoughts jump in my head.... now having a little difficult time getting them out damn it. Also had a that weird teeth thing forwells was having, me teeth feel sensitive/cold its a little weird.

[Exactice]

Day 19, its been a full week on Prozac with the set dosage. Today I feel the worst, No anxiety or Panic at all! Thank Goodness, but these negative feelings and thoughts are stuck in my head/body. I feel really crappy right now because of it. It fricken sucks I wish they would just go away get the !@#$% out of my head....

[Exactice]

I feel 800 million times better than I did this morning!!!! thank goodness, I was a little worried but right now I am so happy that all those F*ed feelings are gone right now. No I have not taken anything else with it. I am guessing it is still my body interacting with the meds. Hopefully it will slowly stabilize better in the up coming weeks!

[Exactice]

Day 20. Slept good last night, went right to bed and didnt wake up at all. I feel a little anxiety today, why? I have no idea LOL, its probably residual from yesterday. But overall, I feel good, No weird buzzing or tingling, appetite seems to be back to normal, no shaking or trembling. Things are looking up today!!! Hooray!!!

[Exactice]

Im happy to report I managed a full day of work without any issues. I feel great and felt great throughout the day and even up to this point. I think everything is starting to finally fully balance itself out. Only thing that I have is a little body twitch but very very minor, no anxiety or bad thoughts either so we are doing good!!!

[needtogetwell]

YAY Exactice!!!! Congratulations a huge win!!!

Next step... String a couple of them together!

Really happy you sound so good and feel just as good!

Have a great day
Pam

[Exactice]

Day 21, Went to sleep fine, woke up fine....I still have a little morning apprehension but once I clear it from my mind im good to go. Its funny how that morning apprehension starts, but I try to distract myself use work as an avenue and things just work itself out.

Thank you Pam for the kind words yes yes we need to just string these good days together now!!!

[Dahila]

I like the way you post, and I want to congratulate you on the improvement:))

[Exactice]

I like the way you post, and I want to congratulate you on the improvement:))

Thank you very much! I am trying to stay positive and work through this, more so I want to empower others to feel good too! So hopefully it helps!!!

[Exactice]

Day 22, Good Sleep last night, Woke up early this morning for a meeting, still having those slight morning hesitation but as the day draws on it gets better, I dont know if its the meds kicking in or just life is smoothing itself out. No weird feelings or tingling to report! Stringing 2 days together!!! Hooray!! Going to stay active and positive and roll with it.

Forwells & Frankie 22 days my friends and I feel good its been back to back days!!!! There is a light my friend there is a light

[needtogetwell]

Yay!!! Back to back days! You are making excellent progress!

Cheers!
Have a great weekend!
Pam

[GeneAllen]

I think you started with a good attitude and are now keeping it going. I am glad to see your progress.

Peace

[Exactice]

Thank you everyone for your kind words! I am trying my best to keep these positive thoughts and strengthen my mental health!


So its day 24, Sleeping like normal I can say finally. I have some daily anxiety, but its funny its the anxiety that I am waiting for something to happen, that never happens. Im just waiting for a panic attack or racing thoughts, but..... they just dont show up. Its awesome, but I just hope that it stays this way and I can finally day by day just let it all go!

To those that are struggling, hang in there, you will find your place and you will find your special thing that will help you heal. Remember, anxiety is like a paper cut, its annoying, it stings, and it takes a little time to heal.

[Exactice]

Day 25. Its a whole new week. Wow for the first time I woke up this morning without any "Hesitation" or those weird morning thoughts I had last week. I actually feel really good today and even the normal lingering anxiety is somewhat non existent. Wow things are really coming around. The only issue I am dealing with right now is some really bad heartburn/Acid Reflux. Damn it!

I hope my Prozac buddies are doing ok? (Forwells & Frankie) Let me know if things are getting better!!

[needtogetwell]

Day 25. Its a whole new week. Wow for the first time I woke up this morning without any "Hesitation" or those weird morning thoughts I had last week. I actually feel really good today and even the normal lingering anxiety is somewhat non existent. Wow things are really coming around. The only issue I am dealing with right now is some really bad heartburn/Acid Reflux. Damn it! I hope my Prozac buddies are doing ok? (Forwells & Frankie) Let me know if things are getting better!!

Really glad you're stringing those good days together!!!

Cheers!
Pam

[Exactice]

Day 26, Its been a little interesting but over all good. Today I have a bit more anxiety than I have had the last couple of days, why I do not know, might be this acid reflux, I have a soar throat and its making me little worried. I have a bunch of racing thoughts today so it was hard to go back to sleep, I usually sneak in an extra half hour, but that didnt happen. Also I have the weirdest tingling/buzzing in my left calf, That was weird. But over all still in a good mood. I cant complain. Im sure this will pass as a down day compared to all the highs I have been having!

[Exactice]

Day 27. Im not going to lie, I feel kinda crappy. I dont know why. My thoughts have been really wandering the last 2 days. Prior my thoughts have been real focused but these last 2 days its been just off. That tingling thing in my left calf is gone and the headache is gone. My soar throat is still here but the acid reflux has kinda died down thank goodness.

Any of you have a small lapse during your prozac period? I was feeling all good last week, but this week, doesnt feel as good as last week...... It must be the furniture still moving around as forwells likes to say. Day by day, every little step!

[needtogetwell]

Day 27. Im not going to lie, I feel kinda crappy. I dont know why. My thoughts have been really wandering the last 2 days. Prior my thoughts have been real focused but these last 2 days its been just off. That tingling thing in my left calf is gone and the headache is gone. My soar throat is still here but the acid reflux has kinda died down thank goodness. Any of you have a small lapse during your prozac period? I was feeling all good last week, but this week, doesnt feel as good as last week...... It must be the furniture still moving around as forwells likes to say. Day by day, every little step!

You have absolutely the right attitude, day by day, step by step.

I think that all meds like this have days and weeks that are good then a few days of off. Just ride it out, be kind to yourself! You have come so incredibly far in 27 days. You are not in a race here! You will get to the finish line when you are supposed to!

Keep it up! Your journey is an inspiration to many!
Cheers
Pam

[Exactice]

You have absolutely the right attitude, day by day, step by step.

I think that all meds like this have days and weeks that are good then a few days of off. Just ride it out, be kind to yourself! You have come so incredibly far in 27 days. You are not in a race here! You will get to the finish line when you are supposed to!

Keep it up! Your journey is an inspiration to many!
Cheers
Pam

Thank you thank you! I like your last statement.... you are right I will make it to the end of the journey when I am supposed to!!! Love it!!! Yes I know this is probably one of those days as now I am having more good days that bad....compared to before!! Ride it out like the wind!!

[Exactice]

Had an interesting conversation with the pharmacist while picking up my refill. I asked the lady at the window if I could ask a question she said you should speak to the pharmacist, and I was like nah i have a doctors appointment at the end of the month ill just wait, she said no no, its best you speak to someone. Immediately she calls over a pharmacist, she asks me whats up. I ask her how this medication is, and is the side effects pretty bad. She said yes its a little rough, I asked her about how long before its gets better, she said first off it does take about a month, so while I am on day 27 I realize I still got a week to really put this med through the ringer. Then she says well, the interesting part is you are on a very "LOW" dose? What???? Im on a low dose, she said that typically some people take 20mg 4 times a day. So you might talk to your talk to your doctor to maybe increase it.

I was shocked to think that my dosage was so low to begin with, It actually gave me a sigh of relief and actually help me mentally. As I realized now that maybe due to the low dose and how I am actually getting better maybe I am healing naturally and this low dose is whats helpping me get over the hump. Even if I increased it a little to give me that extra kick I can taper back down easily later.

Its funny how just a little bit of info ca really help propel you in the right direction!

forwells, if you read this 20mg is a really low dose, so that fact that you are at 10mg and even 15mg, maybe the side effects are not the meds its just us naturally healing and adjusting, once we pass this point we might not really need anything after this!!! We might be good to go!!!

We can do this friends!!! We can!!!

[needtogetwell]

It's amazing what the mind can do with the right information. The meds, low dose that it is is just enough to get your brain calm enough to help itself!

Your perspective is a very healthy one. Be willing to increase a bit if necessary. Your journey obviously has been one of self awareness, and that's what I think it is all about in the long run. Towards the end of your journey you will likely realize that you have won the most momentous battle of your life. I think you are starting to see that!

Cheers! Looking forward to your next update!
Pam

[Exactice]

Forwells! You are correct, I was reading up last night, 80mg is the higher end of the spectrum. In any case yes we are on the first dosage, but its amazing to think that you can really increase the dosage 4 times in the body more so take a 90mg once a week. That seems scary.

In any case I am thinking this change was 2 fold. Where you on any other meds prior to prozac, I realized also that I was on buspar prior so when I changed to this I think I was having some withdraws with the buspar too.

I will say that prior to the prozac I was having that constant nagging feeling of anxiety, everyday, all day, but now, its almost non existent! I was taking that thing 3 times a day, now I only take something in the morning. It just seems that things are getting a little easier!

[Exactice]

Day 29 Last night slept well again, yesterday was an interesting day though for sure. Golfed with clients/friends yesterday, it was a pretty intense match so a lot of anxiety through match but amazing with all the tools I have managed it well. Sad part was I still lost, so I was a little depressed (I know so stupid compared to other reasons of depression). Anyways went home relaxed but for what ever I wanted to watch "Saving Private Ryan" kind of a bad movie to watch as that really gets my PTSD going and anxieties, but watched it and was just fine. First time in a while I watched a war movie without getting worked up.

Anyways today I have a little anxiety more than the normal, but all in all in good spirits and no linger side effects from the previous week. So all in all looking good today!

[HockeyRules]

Forwells! You are correct, I was reading up last night, 80mg is the higher end of the spectrum. In any case yes we are on the first dosage, but its amazing to think that you can really increase the dosage 4 times in the body more so take a 90mg once a week. That seems scary. In any case I am thinking this change was 2 fold. Where you on any other meds prior to prozac, I realized also that I was on buspar prior so when I changed to this I think I was having some withdraws with the buspar too. I will say that prior to the prozac I was having that constant nagging feeling of anxiety, everyday, all day, but now, its almost non existent! I was taking that thing 3 times a day, now I only take something in the morning. It just seems that things are getting a little easier!

Prozac has a very long half life.... So with this one...more is not better because the drug you took yesterday is somewhat still active. Forwells was right....pharmacist was wrong. On the bright side..Prozac is one of the easiest to wean off of....due to its very long half life in comparison to say Paxil with a very short half life.

David

[Exactice]

Day 32, Very very very interesting weekend. For the first time I felt normal.....odd thing to say but yes normal. Saturday was a very long day 4:30am Wake up and volunteered with the local "Food Bank" for over 12 hours. The amazing part? Because I was totally distracted the whole day, (extremely busy) I did not have a single bad thought, single feeling of anxiety, nothing. I felt like how I felt a year ago volunteering, I felt like how I felt months ago. No worries nothing.

This has really got me thinking that, this anxiety is truly in the mind. You really have to work hard on deprogramming these thoughts in your head. As they say you are your worst enemy and its seems that way. I can be normal, I can do normal things, I can exhaust myself and not worry about having a panic attack or an anxiety attack. I can do normal things, go to sleep normally and start the next day normally. Amazing!

Any ways, meds I think are doing their job in a sense, no side effects to report. My allergies are acting up so I am working from home today, but nothing out of the ordinary to report. Things are looking good!

[needtogetwell]

Exactice,

Have you recently read this thread from the beginning? You have come so, so far. I'm really happy and excited for you. These revelations that you are having truly are the keys to unlock the mysteries of this condition.

At some point we just "get it" and I think you do.

Cheers and congratulations.

[Exactice]

Exactice,

Have you recently read this thread from the beginning? You have come so, so far. I'm really happy and excited for you. These revelations that you are having truly are the keys to unlock the mysteries of this condition.

At some point we just "get it" and I think you do.

Cheers and congratulations.

Thanks Pam, I think the biggest step for me was realizing that there was an issue and facing it head on. I know that I will have relapse and challenges but I look at it as I have actually had these before the only difference was how I mentally thought about it.

Its funny, you know those racing thoughts, those negative thoughts. I realized.... I have had those many of times before. Only now I because of the Anxiety or Panic, I think that something is wrong with me. But truly, nothing is wrong I am just making it wrong by thinking about it. If i tell myself, "Hey Jon, you have felt frustrated before, you have felt scared before, you have felt sadness and depression before. Dont you remember how you dealt with it back then?"

Thats when I realize holy smokes batman..... these are all normal feelings, nothing out of the ordinary. I am just making it mentally out of the ordinary. I have negatively programmed my mind recently, now I just have to work on redoing it!

Thank you Pam again always for your kind words, I just hope my thread is an inspiration to others and gives them hope and positive reinforcement that it takes us little steps at a time!

[needtogetwell]

It most definitely is an inspiration.

My only wish is that we could bottle up and give away these realizations for free to those who desperately need it.

Alas, part of the recovery process is self-realization and it is only through progressing on the journey do we come to these realizations, and become fully armed to navigate the bumps in the road which occasionally, and unfortunately arise.

P.

[Exactice]

Day 34 - All seems to really stabilize now, Even waking up in the morning is a lot easier that it has been the last couple of weeks. One thing I noticed too, during the work day I do not have the lingering anxieties I had for months. Its now just pockets here and there. I think I am getting mentally tougher and my hypersensitivity is slowly dissipating. Im not relaxing though I am staying diligent as I am sure something might pop up but the best part is knowing I am prepared for it!


Forwells and Frankie how are my buddies doing?????

[Exactice]

Day 39 - I have to say I have learned so much these last 30 days. I have had my ups and downs. But lately more ups so its looking good. The best part is I am make good strides mentally realizing that there really is nothing wrong with me! I have tried to find reasons but nothing....all is unfounded. That has been awesome! Another good thing is the fact that I do not have to deal with the anxiety all day like I was months ago. Now its random bouts here an there.

Its funny all in all I feel much better I have my first follow up with the doc on Wednesday, I am a little nervous to tell him that I feel good as if he tells me to get off the meds will things change as its been pretty good now.... So a little worried.

In any case, everyone you can fight this thing, it takes some time and patience. But understanding and confidence is the greatest tool. Hang in there everyone that is struggling! You can do it!!!

Forwells and Frankie, Miss you, Hope all is well =)

[Exactice]

So I just had my doctors appointment! All was good. Interesting enough the doctor stated that it would probably be best for me to stay on this meds and dose for about 6 months. Since I have had this ongoing situation its best to really get it setting in.

I also did the questionnaire thing he gives me every time and he stated that this was the best score I have had in a while! That was very reassuring.

A little update about me. Waking up in the morning is so different now. I am not afraid, I dont have any hesitations or fears like I did a couple of weeks ago. Working and staying at the office is almost normal, its funny I can say that I feel pretty normal again. Doing things dont bring out anxiety, being out doesnt bring out anxiety. The interesting part too is that even if the anxiety comes on, I really really challenge it. I really ask it a lot of questions and its funny. My conscious mind starts to laugh at myself, its like its realizing there is nothing really to worry about!

Everyone there is a light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there! You all can do it, It take time, and hard work to believe it will work!

[GeneAllen]

Very glad to hear you coming along so well. It is very good as the symptoms decrease and disappear. Congratulations!

Peace

[needtogetwell]

The light is fantastic once you begin to see it. Keep going forward, it only gets brighter

Be proud of yourself ! You have come a long way.

So happy for you.

Cheers
Pam

[Exactice]

Hey Gang, a little update. Its been interesting to say the least. I expected a little bit of a relapse and I can say I am better prepared for it thank goodness.

The last couple of days I have been dealing with a little more anxiety than normal. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, but I just notice that my anxiety seems to be at a little higher level than its been for the last couple of weeks. I know I have been doing really well, but its odd that its popping up for no reason.

Like I said I am better prepared with more tools on how to deal with it, but I will say its a little uncomfortable. But nothing I cant handle. All in all though I last through each day, I go to sleep relatively well, I wake up with a little hesitation but other than that, still moving forward in a positive direction.

Im sure this will pass its probably just my body double checking itself saying "Was those last 2 weeks normal"

I hope the rest of you are doing well! Frankie and Forwells, still keep you in my thoughts!

[needtogetwell]

You sound really good! Yes speed bumps come along every so often. You have handled them well. Your tool box must be full of good stuff.

Hoping you keep this positive direction up!

Cheers
Pam

[Exactice]

So couple days check in, Its been ok, hasnt been great but nothing bad.

I have been getting that odd buzzing in my left leg, that forwells said he had. Also that cold teeth feeling. My anxiety is popping up and down here and there, but I have a feeling its not Anxiety and its more Acid Reflux in my chest. Its the same sensations so it could be confusion.

Other than that doctor changed my meds from 2 10mg's to 1 20mg's daily in the morning.

Over all mood is still good couple of hiccups here and there but other than that moving along feeling a little more normal everyday!

[Exactice]

Hey Gang gang, its been a little while! I apologize I am usually very active but I have been really busy, work and life =) In any case thought I would give some updates.


So overall this have been great. Nothing major but things have settle pretty well. I will say I have had so much going on the last couple of weeks, im surprised I havent had a major attack.

As of current, I have been having a little bit of lingering anxiety but nothing that has stopped me from doing normal things like before. Its funny though, I noticed this came about recently due to my increase of "alcohol" consumption.

Yes yes I know, but I did kind of have a good reason to consume a little more. Problem was I think I went over board and I think this is what is causing some speed bumps. My "excuses" LOL (impromptu bachelor party, My wife and I finally had our "Wedding" with our families, 2 Major Golf Outings, my Birthday, My Good Friends Bachelor Party and my friends wedding.) Mind you all this happened in 2 weeks......

I have cut my drinking down substantially and in 2 weeks I probably drank enough to cover those 6 months of not drinking haahahah yikes!

In any case, I think all that has to do with the recent minor flare ups so I will keep monitoring. Other than that all is well!!!!!!


PS I hope everyone is hanging in there, I will be back to support you all and give you guys that cheer up as best as I can!!!

[Im-Suffering]

From your first post:


"So what I did was I started to treat it like it was a little child. I would talk to it and nurture it. When it would come on I would imagine it was like a little kid throwing a tantrum. Tell it its going to be alright it will only be short term. I would ask it what is wrong and explain to it that its nothing. Take 2 nice deep breaths and then it would subside! For the first time I can say I have control of these panic attacks, more so I am not even afraid of them anymore when they come on" end quote.

Now, a brilliant beginning and a trust in your inner power, that you have stumbled upon.

The journaling style posts are most constructive. The child ofcourse is your inner psyche as it deals with trauma, this connection is excellent. In your terms, this child has been waiting for this connection quite some time. The physical issues manifested as a result of simultaneous trauma/shock, however the core issues have been with you many years, in fact, the small child is waiting to tell you all about it, period.

In a non episodic state, be still, and return to your space with the child, only now, take it back to birth, i want you to recount your days, as moving/motion pictures in your mind, allowing the child to tell you his story, his full story. I want you to recount the traumas buried in your belief system that only the child could remind you of. Let the child tell you about the first time you emotionally accepted a concept as true, you are looking for negetive self images that formed the cornerstone for a belief.

When you listen to a story, allow your emotions to swell, you may feel symptomatic of anxiety, but it wont kill you. Let it build with the story as you see the belief from a childs perspective and as the adult you may be surprised you still live by it.

Allow the stories to unfold one at a time and as the psychic emotional energy builds allow it to peak. You may be crying at that point , dig for story remnants and when you feel there is none left you have the picture....release it. See it any way you are comfortable, popping balloons, sludge coming from your chest area, etc.

You are not meant to have an attack, console the child, and end it, for it will forever return, especially since you unconsciously rely on the workings of medication, you see. You must console, let him tell the story (one a day only) do not mix stories. Let emotions peak, dig for more information remnants about the belief, and when ready blow it out, release the child from its pain, period.

Now, your fathers passing, the trauma from overseas, your fiance......... in terms of time, the inception and acceptance of a probable reality of anxiety including the world view and belief systems, ...happened many years ago, and thats what your after. These 3 powerful experiences served as a catalyst of self recognition, an about face, to look in the mirror, thy only purpose, to heal beliefs that are not good for you, period.

I applaud you for your innate connection with the child, but you must finish it off, releasing the powerful hold the emotional grip. And you will be free.

With love, God, and light.

[Exactice]

Im-Suffering, You are a breath of fresh air! Thank you so much! You have added to the many wonderful people here with your wisdom, insight and knowledge! I think many people will benefit from your precess so please stay active!


Thank you for your information I will continue to build on what I have learned up to this point!

[Exactice]

So a little update! First and foremost I have to say I am a little fortunate, I have a job that is extremely flexible. I can get away with coming into work basically anytime I want.

Well, for 2 years I have been one of those 7am - 6pm workers everyday all day working hard. Since this anxiety I have changed my work schedule to really relax and take life more slowly. So now its more like 9-10am till about 4-5pm. I will say I feel hella guilty, but I have noticed these last 2 or 3 months I feel more and more tired. I am wondering if its because I am sleeping longer.

I usually go to bed about 11-12pm wake up about 6 so I get about 6-7hours. Now with me getting up about 8 or 9 thats like 9-10 hours of sleep. Pretty significant increase in hours of sleep.

Anyways with all this extra sleep I still feel tired and drained during the day. Its weird. But today was odd. I had a hard time sleeping last night. It was hot and I was really frigidity. So I think I finally fell asleep about 3 or 4 am, I woke up about 9 this morning so only about 5 hours of sleep, but I feel much more awake and and actually feel pretty good too.

I wonder if over sleeping is actually been a negative effect on my lately? Anyone else notice that maybe sleeping to much might not be good?

[Anne1221]

I have felt good on 5 hours sleep before, but if you did that every night, over time, you would probably feel tired. Can you think of any other reason why you might feel more tired lately? Take a look at all of your medications...any changes? Do you think maybe you are waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle?

[Exactice]

I have felt good on 5 hours sleep before, but if you did that every night, over time, you would probably feel tired. Can you think of any other reason why you might feel more tired lately? Take a look at all of your medications...any changes? Do you think maybe you are waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle?


Its funny the meds are supposed to give me energy. Now this is the thing.... When I went in early I would take the meds about 6-7am.... but now that I go in later I am taking them about 9-10am. 3 hour difference. I still go to sleep about the same time but do you think the 3 hours difference is keeping me awake or restless at night, so I am not getting a good sleep even though its for 8+ hours?

I think I sleep like a rock cause I dont remember nothing? Just fall asleep and wake up??

[Anne1221]

I do know medications can definitely affect your sleep as well as how you feel during the day. (at least that has been the case for me). the Lexapro makes me tired and sleepy so I take it before bedtime. do some experimenting around to see how you feel. If you want, i can look up on the internet about sleeping more hours and see if that gives you more or less energy...I have two sleep disorders so I read up a lot on sleep.

[Anne1221]

I found this. (I have the last two sleep disorders. My sleep doctor tells me SSRI' can cause the PLMD)

How Come I Feel More Tired When I Sleep Longer?
Posted: 01/19/10 06:47 PM ET
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Amazing
Inspiring
Funny
Scary


There's nothing more frustrating than sleeping longer to "catch up" on much-needed sleep, only to feel even more tired that day. Sometimes, sleeping longer than usual does the trick for rejuvenating an over-tired body, but sometimes it can make matters worse. Why does this happen? More importantly, how can you avoid it?

A Rhythm Beating to a Different Tune

Your sleep-wake cycle follows a regular pattern (circadian rhythm) and when you sleep "too much" that pattern shifts.

• Circadian rhythms are the patterns of repeated activity associated with the environmental cycles of day and night. Our internal rhythms repeat roughly every 24 hours.

• Once our body clocks, or circadian pacemakers, start "telling the wrong time," we feel it in lethargy, fatigue, and a sleep cycle gone haywire. The clock says one thing and your body says another, very similar to jet lag.

Synchronizing these two clocks (internal and external) come with hitting the "re-set" button every 24 hours. We can do this by exposure to morning light and by activity. For example, when you want to be alert and awake but your body doesn't want to follow, you can stimulate your body to re-set itself just by going outside into the sunlight for 10 or 15 minutes or engaging in some physical activity, preferably outside in the bright light.

The Cycle within Sleep

Sleep itself has a cycle. The average sleep cycle lasts between 80-120 minutes (the average is 90 minutes) and the average person has five of these every night (totaling about 7.5 hours). When you sleep in, you are extending your number of cycles, and then generally you wake up in the middle of a cycle. If it is in the part of the cycle that is deep or REM sleep you can wake and feel worse than before you went to sleep.

Here are the best ways to keep your body clock on track:

• Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, including weekends. Your cycles will adjust if there is a regular schedule to follow. The key is your wake up time. Just because you stay up an extra two hours does not mean you should sleep in an extra two hours (your internal clock cannot shift that quickly).

• Expose yourself to bright morning light. Your own personal re-set button.

• Try to schedule exercise in the morning hours as opposed to late day.

• Avoid napping past 3 p.m. It's better to nap according to your circadian rhythm, which for most means snoozing in the early afternoon (1-3 p.m.). If you must nap make it for either 30 min or 90 min. If you nap longer than 30 minutes but less than 90 minutes, you run the risk of entering slow-wave deep sleep within your cycle and waking up groggy.

• Try to avoid sleeping in on weekends, even if you went to bed late the night before. Go to bed 15-30 minutes earlier the next night.

• Avoid alcohol and caffeine close to the hours of bedtime. Ideally, stop consuming caffeine between 2 to 3 p.m. and watch out for that second cocktail after work or at dinner. These will both keep you out of deeper sleep in the early part of the night, and your body will then try to make up that deep sleep later in your sleep timewhen you are trying to wake up.

An Underlying Sleep Disorder

Sometimes, our best efforts to get a good night's sleep can be thwarted by another big culprit to unrefreshing sleep: a sleep disorder. And if you suffer from one, then all the hours in the world spent in bed might not help you feel that much better, and maybe even worse.

If you wake up after seven to eight hours of sleep and still feel unrefreshed, your problem may not be about quantity but rather quality. Then your brain wants you to return to sleep, hoping that the quality will get better. Or your quality is so poor throughout the evening, sleeping 7.5 hours on the clock is really like sleeping 6.5 hours to your brain. Once again waking up in the middle of a cycle and making you groggy.

So what kind of sleep disorder could be the problem? There are several, but two common sleep disorders in particular can put a serious kink in your sleep quality no matter how long you stay in bed.

Obstructive Sleep Apnea: Picture this scenario: You actually stop breathing, for 10, then 20, then 30 seconds. Then, you begin to gasp for air, as if it were your last breath. This cycle repeats itself over and over, all night long. Amazingly, you may be totally unaware that this has taken place. You may wake up with a dry mouth, a headache, and feeling hung over. You may also be sleepy during the day, have significant memory loss, concentration, attention, mood and other related problems. Apnea causes fragmented sleep, and often lowered oxygen which then translates to daytime sleepiness. With some people the more they sleep the worse they feel-because their brain is starved for oxygen.

Periodic Limb Movements: These can be anything from small twitches to full kicks that occur every 9 seconds or so at certain times throughout the night. You may not realize that these movements wake you up sometimes hundreds of times a night, and you wake having had unrefreshing sleep in the morning. Again the more you sleep the worse you feel.

Remember, you may think that you're a "bad sleeper," but it doesn't have to be that way. There are lots of solutions available today to help the worst kind of sleeper achieve the best kind of sleep.

[Exactice]

Hey Anne, Thanks for the article, I am reading and working on it now.

So the last 2 nights have been pretty rough sleeping. I dont know what is the cause of it but I think I have tried way to many things the last couple of days to pinpoint whats going on.


Thursday night I got hammered with co-workers, came home drunk as a skunk, Wife was laughing her butt off at me, even photo bombed me passed out on the floor. She says she will use that as bait if I ever do anything stupid hahaah.

Any ways next day suffered a horrible hangover. Anxiety was up a little, but nothing out of the ordinary expected from a bad hangover. Came home early from work and rested up. Saturday, I just stayed home and recovered. I noticed my anxiety and odd feelings more than normal. I am wondering if these are affects of the alcohol vs the meds.... I heard the Fluoxetine and Alcohol dont mix well, they basically counter each other.

So I have been taking the meds a little earlier now instead of 9am. around 7am in hopes that the wear off so I can sleep better. Well Fast forward to Saturday night, Couldnt sleep because of a Dog barking all freaking night and the neighbors fighting. Bunch of Idiots. Had to wake up early to golf. Came home after a long day and tried to nap, now this was the weird part. Tried to nap around 2pm, had a hard time and all of a sudden had mini panic attacks. I have great managing skills so they dont bother me too much but I will say these are the strongest panic attacks I have had in a while, on a scale from 1-10 maybe a 3 or 4. Dealt with it but decided not to nap anymore.

So it was night time, time to go sleep and just had a hard time sleep, I finally fell asleep but probably around 2am and slept for maybe 2 hours, woke up, 2 hours woke up. We shall see what happens tonight.

So couple things, I know that have been different.

1) Taking meds different time
2) Over Drinking the one night
3) I did have a small coffee on Sunday Golf

Thats about it for now..... Hope my sleep goes back to normal.....

[Exactice]

^^^^ LOL Suffering! I cant tell if you are being serious or not.... but my grammar and "writing" in general is terrible ahaha. The worst is I am so ADD, I type and dont proof read and type almost like how I speak..... "crap" just comes out. Im glad you enjoy it!

I use this more as a blog to keep track of things I have done to keep this Panic and Anxiety in check.

Again thank you and I just hope that someone will read this and gain a little help and insight!

[Exactice]

So I slept good last night!!!! I think all the excitement from the weekend died down so I guess I was able to just sleep!

Somethings Different, I had to wake up early to help a co-worker, we went to breakfast and I did have some coffee. I was worried that this would cause some issues, but nope

Got home had dinner, and went to bed about 11pm a little earlier. The only difference though was I had the hypnotherapy on last night, I listened to 3 of them but I only remember 1 of them as I was out cold till about 7am this morning hahaha!

I think I will be trying the hypnotherapy stuff again! I kinda like it!

[needtogetwell]

I use it every night and that's the only way I sleep through the night. I like it too.

[Exactice]

Alright 2 nights back to back not bad...... I have been listenting to the hypnotherapy every night for the last 3. I think it really helps! Its funny I have 3 different ones about 30minutes each. I dont think I ever make it past the first one LOL

Anyone else struggling might want to give it a shot!

[Exactice]

So its been 3 months since I stated this thread,

All and all I would say 180* turn for the better, months ago, I was afraid to leave the house, I couldnt stay at work for more than 3 or 4 hours. I couldnt go out or far from home because I wa afraid of what might happen. Now.... I am almost normal, yes I still have the random off days, but thats should be normal like any person they have good days and bad days!

The biggest difference is now that when I notice something with my body, a tingling, an cold spot etc.... I dont think of it as something wrong, I just realize its there and then move along. Once I do that, it just seems to go away!

There is a light!!!! So keep up the fight!

[Anne1221]

That is wonderful and encouraging news for everyone Exactice. And look at how far you have come...amazing!

[Exactice]

Hey Gang, Just another update. At one point I was keeping this daily, but as I improved I didnt see the need. But!!! I think its a good time to share!

Soooo Lets go,

My Anxiety and a little bit of my panic has come back! BUT!!! Its not really a bad thing. Wait? What??? Im sure all of you are thinking this right. Well let me explain.

So On a scale of 1 - 10 Its probably a 2 or 3 at most.....That is the most its been in almost 3 months. Before it was probably around a 4-5 range. The last couple of months its been almost non existent.

Well I have no Idea why its back, but it was bothering me yesterday. This is the thing though. I am mentally getting stronger and realize that I will get a relapse here and there. Secondly I have develop my "tool box" to combat these recurrences.

So even though I "feel" uncomfortable. I know that I have recovered from it and I have fought through the worst before. I have not reached for a Xanax at all, I have thought about it.... but never really went for it, just to feel more comfortable. I just did a little conversation with myself and I felt better.

Anyways..... as I distract myself I do feel better and again its great to know that I do have control of this even though it feels uncomfortable.

So to those that have set backs, dont be afraid of them! Its not a bad thing its a reason to test out your tools! Its like buying a new surfboard..... you have a reason to use it!!!!

Hang in there everyone!

[needtogetwell]

By George I think he's got it!!!!

Well done Exactice. The mind is a powerful thing!

[meichmann]

Awesome to hear! I think you did a great thing by posting your progress here. Whatever helps you, do it!

You are right about talking to your panic attacks. Talking yourself through it helps alot, but also remember not to fight it, Let it happen. Does it feel good? hell no. But, if you let it happen and pass on it's own, it will end quicker than if you fight it or give into it.

Also, during a panic attack, you play a "Mental movie" in your head that isn't always pretty and you play it over and over again. What you need to do is force yourself to play another "movie". A calming or happy one. Force yourself to play a different movie. Now sometimes, it may be impossible to do. it's ok. after all, we're human. But, as long as you try then that all you can ask for.

Im glad to see your progress!

[Exactice]

Guess whos back!!!!!!!!

Its amazing, coming back and reading the stories from 2 years ago. More so I am glad to see some of the members that I saw before too.... I apologize, life got me by the throat and a little misunderstanding here pushed me in another direction. Regardless I am back and want to share some updates and more so keep in touch with the members here!


First off lets get to the selfish reason im here, my anxiety is going through the roof. Its probably the worse its been in the last 2 years. Ok got that off my chest,

Now some updates.....


Se per my thread, I "was" on Fluoxetine for a good part of the year..... my refill got messed up last year and I ended up not continuing it. Doc did a follow up and I seem to be doing well.


Life grabbed me by the throat and shook me like the San Andres Fault. My daughter was born, Happy and Healthy. I got a letter from the State, saying my Birth Mother and Sister were trying to reach out to me..... TALK ABOUT an emotional roller coaster. The normal life stress and here I am.

Doc has put me back on the meds and I am going through the initial hell. This SUCK huge Donkey !@##$%$.... Its been almost 4 weeks nows, about a week and a half ago, I switched to the 20mg and now my Anxiety...is ROCKING my brain.......

Anyways... Battling it through and just wanted to start this "diary" again. More so I wanted to come back and help others like I did before, it gave me purpose and it felt good!!! So I want to help!


Please feel free to chat with me any time!!!!

[Dahila]

Hi man we missed you, I am sorry about anxiety but daddy Congratulation !!!!!
You probably noticed that the age of population went down, we have from 12-17 average age, except I of course. Not many people are posting. Not many people are here anymore but some like Jesse post every two months or so. Bad the anxiety but good to have you back

[Exactice]

Hey Dahila, Its good to be back, missed you too! I did notice the average age seems a lot younger, but still people we can help! I was worried that not many people have been posting, but maybe we can reinvigorate the forums =)

[James Waide]

I am coping with anxiety with the Natural pen. It has been a God Send.
I got tired of the "happy pills" and knew there had to be a all natural remedy for anxiety.
Try it 1691
www.naturallyAnxietyFree.com

[Exactice]

Intersting, I will look this up, and check it out!