ashy
03-30-2014, 08:01 PM
Sorry, I just want to get this off my chest:
I'm really frustrated and I feel really disrespected. It's frustrating that nobody understands how I feel, but most of all I hate it that no one seems to see how much hurt I'm in, but they just dismiss my thoughts and my feelings, invalidating them and making them out to be stupid or selfish. It's frustrating because I don't know how to explain how I feel or how I've been hurt. Ive always been put down, rejected, humiliated, disrespected, shamed, and treated bad with so much hate and anger that my whole family has felt towards me at one point or another in my life. It hurts. I'm scared. It has made me so anxious and fearful. But no one seems to care. I feel that they just dismiss me, or tell me that I'm the one to blame. I've apologized, I've held back anger, I've always tried my best to make peace and love and respect others. I'm trying to forgive. No one else will do the same. Even through all the anxiety and everything that I am facing I try to help others. I try to change my mood and be kind and happy for others despite the strong pull downwards from anxiety to feel and think otherwise. I wish they would have the least bit of patience with me, try to listen and understand, but they don't. They just get upset with me, annoyed with me, and act as if I don't have anything that I'm dealing with, and act like I'm the only one who has to change. I'm tired, I'm frustrated. Sometimes I just want to run as far away as possible, I want to scream. Maybe this sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I imagine that something bad happening to me, like being kidnapped or raped. Maybe I feel like that's the only way that people will start caring about me and respecting how I feel rather than invalidating it...
Sorry about the rambling, I just wanted to get it off my chest I guess. Thank you guys for being an amazing support!
I'm really frustrated and I feel really disrespected. It's frustrating that nobody understands how I feel, but most of all I hate it that no one seems to see how much hurt I'm in, but they just dismiss my thoughts and my feelings, invalidating them and making them out to be stupid or selfish. It's frustrating because I don't know how to explain how I feel or how I've been hurt. Ive always been put down, rejected, humiliated, disrespected, shamed, and treated bad with so much hate and anger that my whole family has felt towards me at one point or another in my life. It hurts. I'm scared. It has made me so anxious and fearful. But no one seems to care. I feel that they just dismiss me, or tell me that I'm the one to blame. I've apologized, I've held back anger, I've always tried my best to make peace and love and respect others. I'm trying to forgive. No one else will do the same. Even through all the anxiety and everything that I am facing I try to help others. I try to change my mood and be kind and happy for others despite the strong pull downwards from anxiety to feel and think otherwise. I wish they would have the least bit of patience with me, try to listen and understand, but they don't. They just get upset with me, annoyed with me, and act as if I don't have anything that I'm dealing with, and act like I'm the only one who has to change. I'm tired, I'm frustrated. Sometimes I just want to run as far away as possible, I want to scream. Maybe this sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I imagine that something bad happening to me, like being kidnapped or raped. Maybe I feel like that's the only way that people will start caring about me and respecting how I feel rather than invalidating it...
Sorry about the rambling, I just wanted to get it off my chest I guess. Thank you guys for being an amazing support!