savingkie
03-28-2014, 07:07 PM
Hi! I had a really horrible day because I have emetephobia (the fear of vomiting) and obsessive compulsive disorder (I've had both since kindergarten, and I'm a high school freshman now) and I just feel really really upset, almost like I'm about to have a breakdown. I've had a really hard time getting to school because I'm SO afraid, and I feel sick every morning before school and during school. My anxiety has been exremely high since October (partly because of the transition to high school, partly because I started Zoloft which I'm now off of for anxiety which kept me in my house for 2 weeks straight) and I feel really worn out and I'm so tired from fighting it. I'm normally really happy go lucky and nothing gets me down, but it's been 4 straight months of constant anxiety and due to my anxiety I've quit basketball (my favorite sport), and I haven't hung out with my friends in forever despite their best efforts. The people at my high school are so unhelpful and they just tell me to go back to class because my fear isn't real, which doesn't help, because I know it's not real! I cried for the first time ever in school today, and I literally couldn't stop crying, and I'm so embarrassed because I don't know why I was crying and why I was making such a big deal! I just feel really lost in myself and confused, like I feel like I've lost sight of what path I was on and all my motivation is lacking, because my grades dropped from high honor roll to mid 80s because I'm missing so much school. Everytime I need to do my homework/take a test I feel so overwhelmed that I could cry, which has NEVER happened to me previously to November, I normally just stay on too of my school work with no stress. My parents have really been trying to help me but they're stressed too, so we've been getting in fights a lot recently and they've threatened to call the cops, send me away and send me to hospitals which only heightens my anxiety. I'm really not a bad kid and I would never ever disrespect anyone, but everyone's been perceiving my fear of school as truancy and it's making me so upset. I just really need help getting my life back on track, but my parents keep telling me that there's no one to help me anymore but myself, which makes me so anxious too. :( I'm in CBT therapy right now and I tried meds, but they made me so sick. I'm sorry that I'm writing so much I just feel like I'm at my breaking point and it's so scary :( I just don't want to have a breakdown because I have 40 of my friends and my favorite band coming over tomorrow for my birthday but I'm so not in the mood anymore because of what happened today :( Any suggestions? I received a 504 plan in January, but it's only made things worse. My high school is anything but accommodating, they chase me around, and they don't let me stay out of class to take a breather, let alone do they ever ask me why I'm anxious and what they can do to help. I don't expect them to pity me, I'd just appreciate it if they could be there when I need them, like it was in middle school, when my anxiety was considerably better due to the fact that the psychologist, nurse, and guidance counselors were so understanding and supportive. Thanks to anyone who reads/replies!