TB1
03-23-2014, 11:04 PM
Hi there. I haven't really introduced myself yet, but I'll try to make this as easy to understand as I can. Sorry for the long read in advance.
So I've been battling with anxiety and depression for several months now. I'm seeing a counselor and taking an antidepressant, and I've made some noticeable improvements since I started. However, I still have a ways to go in battling the thoughts that crop when I feel anxious or depressed.
This weekend, I started getting hit with a new depressive chain of thoughts. Over the years, I've been noticing that the things I used to enjoy aren't doing as much as they used to for me. I used to find myself waiting for new stuff with bated breath: video games, movies, TV shows, the occasional book, you name it. I'd sing the praises of the best games and films out there day in, day out. I even once waited in line for a new gaming system for several hours. This was only a few years ago. Cut to today and I... just can't seem to get excited over anything. Big events that I should feel ecstatic or nostalgic about (like graduating college or getting a new nephew) don't do anything for me. Franchises that once occupied my thoughts endlessly barely get a "meh" from me now. It's like I've just become bored with everything, whether it was something I enjoyed in the past or not. In the 20+ years I've been self-aware in this world, I've always been interested in something, even if it was something mundane like learning to use a coffee-maker or being able to open a bus door by pushing the handle. Somedays, it feels like I could witness the second-coming of Jesus Christ and I couldn't muster more than a "well, that happened."
In other words, I feel like I'm growing bored of life in general, like I've been alive long enough to have gotten all the surprise and enjoyment out of it. I understand that losing interest and enjoyment in things I normally like is a big symptom of depression, but is that all this is, or is this just a normal part of life? Part of me wants to lean towards the former, as that would give me hope that I could one day feel as ecstatic over things as I did before. That said, I'm also aware that it's natural to become familiar to things that you once found mind-blowing. After all, I'm sure most of us don't get the same entertainment value out of a baby's toy than we did when we were in diapers (and if you still do, hey, I'm not one to judge ;) ).
If this is just a part of the depression, what can I do to help counter the feelings of general boredom? I know about the "There are so many in the world to still experience" and "You never know what life will bring next" angles, but sometimes they're not enough to help. Is it just a matter of waiting until whatever medication and counseling I'm on can do its thing? Should I expect to be able to go ga-ga for some future video game again one day or just to be able to say "Hey that looks cool, I'll be sure to check it out" while genuinely feeling that way? I'd love to be able to look forward to things again, even if it's just a little bit more than I feel now.
So I've been battling with anxiety and depression for several months now. I'm seeing a counselor and taking an antidepressant, and I've made some noticeable improvements since I started. However, I still have a ways to go in battling the thoughts that crop when I feel anxious or depressed.
This weekend, I started getting hit with a new depressive chain of thoughts. Over the years, I've been noticing that the things I used to enjoy aren't doing as much as they used to for me. I used to find myself waiting for new stuff with bated breath: video games, movies, TV shows, the occasional book, you name it. I'd sing the praises of the best games and films out there day in, day out. I even once waited in line for a new gaming system for several hours. This was only a few years ago. Cut to today and I... just can't seem to get excited over anything. Big events that I should feel ecstatic or nostalgic about (like graduating college or getting a new nephew) don't do anything for me. Franchises that once occupied my thoughts endlessly barely get a "meh" from me now. It's like I've just become bored with everything, whether it was something I enjoyed in the past or not. In the 20+ years I've been self-aware in this world, I've always been interested in something, even if it was something mundane like learning to use a coffee-maker or being able to open a bus door by pushing the handle. Somedays, it feels like I could witness the second-coming of Jesus Christ and I couldn't muster more than a "well, that happened."
In other words, I feel like I'm growing bored of life in general, like I've been alive long enough to have gotten all the surprise and enjoyment out of it. I understand that losing interest and enjoyment in things I normally like is a big symptom of depression, but is that all this is, or is this just a normal part of life? Part of me wants to lean towards the former, as that would give me hope that I could one day feel as ecstatic over things as I did before. That said, I'm also aware that it's natural to become familiar to things that you once found mind-blowing. After all, I'm sure most of us don't get the same entertainment value out of a baby's toy than we did when we were in diapers (and if you still do, hey, I'm not one to judge ;) ).
If this is just a part of the depression, what can I do to help counter the feelings of general boredom? I know about the "There are so many in the world to still experience" and "You never know what life will bring next" angles, but sometimes they're not enough to help. Is it just a matter of waiting until whatever medication and counseling I'm on can do its thing? Should I expect to be able to go ga-ga for some future video game again one day or just to be able to say "Hey that looks cool, I'll be sure to check it out" while genuinely feeling that way? I'd love to be able to look forward to things again, even if it's just a little bit more than I feel now.