Sal:2k8
04-17-2008, 12:10 PM
Hi im new here (obviousley) my names Sally im 16 years old and ive been suffering from anxiety for about 2 years now heres my story i suppose you could call it that
It all started when i began secondary school my brother was already there in the year above and i have no problem in saying that i am fat but he went around telling his friends that i weighed 18 stone which i didnt at that time but anyway so as soon as i started there i was being bullied and it started out just a comment maybe every other day but became worse as time went on it becameworse and worse i had comments being made wherever i went every day it got so bad that people i had never seen before were saying horrible things about me i had to take the bus too and from school and there i would have things thrown at me and was called names all the way to school and back there was a time when even when i went into town peopl were saying things and i didnt know them fair enough if i had spoken to them and said something nasty about them but i hadnt
I can remember the day i snapped and couldnt take it anymore i dont remember what the date was but i remember comming home on the bus people were shouting things at me calling me horrible names chucking coins at me and paper they had chewed up and i think someone threw a bottle of something that was open and i got soaked and that was it i couldnt take anymore the next day i refused to go to school i couldnt take the name calling and mentall abuse anymore and thats how it all began
lots of people say it couldnt of been that bad but it was and everyone says ignore them theyll get bored and leave you alone but they dont three years i endured day after day and it ground me down to a point whree i couldnt go on
from there i became scared to go to school scared of what people would say what they might do and i didnt want to go through that i dont and didnt deserve to go through it as i had done nothing wrong
anyway im starting to go on a bit so ill try wrap this up
i went to this place called the mullberry centre were i was asked lots og questions by a therapist or someone like that but they sent out a letter saying some things about my personal aperance that i didnt like and thats when it got really bad and i didnt go outside at all for probably about 3-4 months then my mother had to go into hospital for an operation and that was when i started going out again i now go out with friends and family but i cant realy go out alone and if i do i know where im going and i get very scared if someone is walking down the same street as me i have go to be going to a friends house or somewhere like that i couldnt go to town on my own or to the shop
anyway basicly due to all of this i havent got an education and im unable to get one due to my phobia of schools and just being judged
oh one more thing to add i have 8 cats (i know sounds like allot but its not realy not when you live with them and i love them all and wouldnt give a single one up) i did have 9 cats who went in and out of the house as they pleased and i was fine with it but then one day the smallest of them lilly got hit by a car and killed we were there within seconds of it happening as my mother saw her get hit and i had to watch her die knowing there was nothing i could do as her injuries were just too severe since then i have been extremely scared about letting them out and they didnt go out for a month after but now go out in the early hours of the morning when theres no traffic about i stay up every night till about 2:30 then when im finally asleep my mother lets them out arounf 3:00 and im up by 6:30 to get them back in they dont seem to mind this but when im waiting for them to come home im always thinking the worst and im always so so scared of what might of happened to them and them not comming home
ok i think ive gone on enough i tend to go on abit even when i dont mean to im doing it now just one little thing im not taking any medication to help with this and im not reciving any sort of help my mother thinks im fine now that i go out with my friends i dont think i am though
p.s sorry for my spelling and grammer not one of my strong points
Sally
It all started when i began secondary school my brother was already there in the year above and i have no problem in saying that i am fat but he went around telling his friends that i weighed 18 stone which i didnt at that time but anyway so as soon as i started there i was being bullied and it started out just a comment maybe every other day but became worse as time went on it becameworse and worse i had comments being made wherever i went every day it got so bad that people i had never seen before were saying horrible things about me i had to take the bus too and from school and there i would have things thrown at me and was called names all the way to school and back there was a time when even when i went into town peopl were saying things and i didnt know them fair enough if i had spoken to them and said something nasty about them but i hadnt
I can remember the day i snapped and couldnt take it anymore i dont remember what the date was but i remember comming home on the bus people were shouting things at me calling me horrible names chucking coins at me and paper they had chewed up and i think someone threw a bottle of something that was open and i got soaked and that was it i couldnt take anymore the next day i refused to go to school i couldnt take the name calling and mentall abuse anymore and thats how it all began
lots of people say it couldnt of been that bad but it was and everyone says ignore them theyll get bored and leave you alone but they dont three years i endured day after day and it ground me down to a point whree i couldnt go on
from there i became scared to go to school scared of what people would say what they might do and i didnt want to go through that i dont and didnt deserve to go through it as i had done nothing wrong
anyway im starting to go on a bit so ill try wrap this up
i went to this place called the mullberry centre were i was asked lots og questions by a therapist or someone like that but they sent out a letter saying some things about my personal aperance that i didnt like and thats when it got really bad and i didnt go outside at all for probably about 3-4 months then my mother had to go into hospital for an operation and that was when i started going out again i now go out with friends and family but i cant realy go out alone and if i do i know where im going and i get very scared if someone is walking down the same street as me i have go to be going to a friends house or somewhere like that i couldnt go to town on my own or to the shop
anyway basicly due to all of this i havent got an education and im unable to get one due to my phobia of schools and just being judged
oh one more thing to add i have 8 cats (i know sounds like allot but its not realy not when you live with them and i love them all and wouldnt give a single one up) i did have 9 cats who went in and out of the house as they pleased and i was fine with it but then one day the smallest of them lilly got hit by a car and killed we were there within seconds of it happening as my mother saw her get hit and i had to watch her die knowing there was nothing i could do as her injuries were just too severe since then i have been extremely scared about letting them out and they didnt go out for a month after but now go out in the early hours of the morning when theres no traffic about i stay up every night till about 2:30 then when im finally asleep my mother lets them out arounf 3:00 and im up by 6:30 to get them back in they dont seem to mind this but when im waiting for them to come home im always thinking the worst and im always so so scared of what might of happened to them and them not comming home
ok i think ive gone on enough i tend to go on abit even when i dont mean to im doing it now just one little thing im not taking any medication to help with this and im not reciving any sort of help my mother thinks im fine now that i go out with my friends i dont think i am though
p.s sorry for my spelling and grammer not one of my strong points
Sally