MidM3d
03-18-2014, 09:47 PM
Hello guys, I have posted before but I never really introduced myself.
I`m a 22 year old male, studying in university.
February has been a rough month for me. In the first week of February a guy who I went to high school with, passed away. Although we weren`t that close, the death has been hard on me. Never did I know that it would lead me to anxiety. The guy who passed away was only 23 years old and was a fitness trainer. He died of a heart attack.
A few weeks later, I was diagnosed with an ear infection. The doctor told me to put some rubbing alcohol in my ears to melt the large amount of wax inside my ears. That`s what I did. However, once I put alcohol inside my ears, I felt unusually dizzy. I thought I was going to die. My heart was beating really loudly. I thought I was going to reach the same fate as my deceased ex-classmate. Once I went to the ER, the doctor didn`t even bother checking my ears. I told him that I put more alcohol in my ears than the doctor told me to and he didn`t even focus on my ear. He told me that as long as my eardrum is not burning, I should be fine. Good news, my ear drums weren`t burning and he told me that it`s just a panic attack.
Although I though this was just a one time thing, the anxiety came back. A week later after my first panic attack, my mom`s friend, who was only 34 years old, passed away from cancer. Although the sadness melted the day after she passed away, I had no clue that this death would affect me on the long run. I became hypochondriac. I kept on googling the littlest health issues I had. I had small rash, had to google. I had minor headache, check the symptoms on WebMD. The worst was my eczema. I had have eczema on my back for a few years and it never really bothered me. But after those 2 deaths, I just checked and compared my eczema with images of cancer rashes. I had the worst panic attack. My legs were tingling, my hands were sweating, my muscles were twitching and I had the worst palpitations. It was so bad that I even had palpitations while I was sleeping. The panic attack was recurring for 12 hours, from the evening all the way to next morning. Although I was feeling better the next morning, things got actually worse. I had spring rolls for lunch that day and it got stuck in my esophagus. To the ER again!
With the death of my classmate and the death of my mom`s friend along with the esophagus incident, I became a hypochondriac. I felt very vulnerable for a few weeks and I thought that somehow bad luck and recurring anxiety symptoms (sweaty hands, tingling, twitching, etc) were signs of death. For a few days, I also felt that life had no meaning (I recovered from that, and I will post about this in another post).
Although these events happened in a very short period of time, I would say that the last 3 days have been great and I feel that I am recovering. Palpitations are gone, sweaty hands didn`t happen in a while, I can control muscle twitching, and best of all, I feel like I know how to control panic attacks. However, there are a few symptoms that are still persisting and new ones coming up ( blurry vision, tingling in new parts of the body, light headaches, etc). With some improvement, I feel that anything can happen! However, with these new symptoms coming up it makes me feel depressed. To keep my depression away, I try to keep myself busy with other stuff. However, when I`m not busy, I still dwell on the new symptoms. It might take a while for me to fully recover (a few months, possible a few years) , but for now, I am just happy that I feel that I can defeat those painful panic attacks with no problem!
I`m a 22 year old male, studying in university.
February has been a rough month for me. In the first week of February a guy who I went to high school with, passed away. Although we weren`t that close, the death has been hard on me. Never did I know that it would lead me to anxiety. The guy who passed away was only 23 years old and was a fitness trainer. He died of a heart attack.
A few weeks later, I was diagnosed with an ear infection. The doctor told me to put some rubbing alcohol in my ears to melt the large amount of wax inside my ears. That`s what I did. However, once I put alcohol inside my ears, I felt unusually dizzy. I thought I was going to die. My heart was beating really loudly. I thought I was going to reach the same fate as my deceased ex-classmate. Once I went to the ER, the doctor didn`t even bother checking my ears. I told him that I put more alcohol in my ears than the doctor told me to and he didn`t even focus on my ear. He told me that as long as my eardrum is not burning, I should be fine. Good news, my ear drums weren`t burning and he told me that it`s just a panic attack.
Although I though this was just a one time thing, the anxiety came back. A week later after my first panic attack, my mom`s friend, who was only 34 years old, passed away from cancer. Although the sadness melted the day after she passed away, I had no clue that this death would affect me on the long run. I became hypochondriac. I kept on googling the littlest health issues I had. I had small rash, had to google. I had minor headache, check the symptoms on WebMD. The worst was my eczema. I had have eczema on my back for a few years and it never really bothered me. But after those 2 deaths, I just checked and compared my eczema with images of cancer rashes. I had the worst panic attack. My legs were tingling, my hands were sweating, my muscles were twitching and I had the worst palpitations. It was so bad that I even had palpitations while I was sleeping. The panic attack was recurring for 12 hours, from the evening all the way to next morning. Although I was feeling better the next morning, things got actually worse. I had spring rolls for lunch that day and it got stuck in my esophagus. To the ER again!
With the death of my classmate and the death of my mom`s friend along with the esophagus incident, I became a hypochondriac. I felt very vulnerable for a few weeks and I thought that somehow bad luck and recurring anxiety symptoms (sweaty hands, tingling, twitching, etc) were signs of death. For a few days, I also felt that life had no meaning (I recovered from that, and I will post about this in another post).
Although these events happened in a very short period of time, I would say that the last 3 days have been great and I feel that I am recovering. Palpitations are gone, sweaty hands didn`t happen in a while, I can control muscle twitching, and best of all, I feel like I know how to control panic attacks. However, there are a few symptoms that are still persisting and new ones coming up ( blurry vision, tingling in new parts of the body, light headaches, etc). With some improvement, I feel that anything can happen! However, with these new symptoms coming up it makes me feel depressed. To keep my depression away, I try to keep myself busy with other stuff. However, when I`m not busy, I still dwell on the new symptoms. It might take a while for me to fully recover (a few months, possible a few years) , but for now, I am just happy that I feel that I can defeat those painful panic attacks with no problem!