Angel
11-19-2005, 10:37 AM
Hello all, long time no type....
Well, things have been going good, i got diagnosed with a panick attack with agoraphobia back in july (then Shizophrenia affective Bipolar Disorder,soon after), had to leave work kouldnt leave home, had to get therapy had to get on meds, then i started having panic attacks all day, every little noise set one off, every little different breathing pattern made me worry, i kouldnt leave my room, i always awoke in the middle of the night having one not knowing what to do, soon after that not even my own room was comfortable anymore, kause it was too closed off, so i started hanging out in my livving room..horrible........then after about being homebound for two or threee months...said what the hell,got off the meds, started going to therapy twice a week....started making musick ALL DAY,just started teaching myself guitar more, making drum n bass and experimental shit on my computer.....and ALOT of people responded to just that....it was good...then i got offers for people wanting me to join bands and what not...my confidence boosted...which of course helps you in the long run with recuperating and what not....So i joined this band...and started slowly desensitizing myself each day ,also i had the help of a certain someone in my life...both mentally and physikally.....uhh started taking kenpo karate klasses every tuesday and thursdays...So yeah im doing that and things are going really really well....and it is fucking insane considering the fucking state i was in...
Well, recently this band asked me to join them. They already have shows and what not...got one TODAY (here in san antonio) one in laredo maybe one in houston afterwards...hopes of touring texas next year then the u.s....you know my DREAM...So i joined them as a bassist, maybe as a guitarist when we find another bassist to take my place...
But today is my first show ever....its the rest of the band's like three hundreth time or something...AND I AM REALLY REALLY FUCKING NERVOUS! I woke up with a fucking worried mind and it feels like some man is trying to push out my anatomy up my throat and through my mouth...and i dont know about you, but i need as much of my own self as i need...I need to be there...but damn....i already got people going to see me, and im a damn bassist for a band and i dont know its just all hitting me at once....What the hell?
well i guess i just had to get that off my chest...umm..
you kan check us out here..
www.myspace.com/emperialmassacre (http://www.myspace.com/emperialmassacre)
www.geocities.com/emperialmassacre (http://www.geocities.com/emperialmassacre)
if your in the san antonio area we will be playing (i better) at Tykoon Flats today, $10 cover kause there will be like 18 other bands there, we go on about 8:00 or 8:30................p.s. im really nervous...
Well, things have been going good, i got diagnosed with a panick attack with agoraphobia back in july (then Shizophrenia affective Bipolar Disorder,soon after), had to leave work kouldnt leave home, had to get therapy had to get on meds, then i started having panic attacks all day, every little noise set one off, every little different breathing pattern made me worry, i kouldnt leave my room, i always awoke in the middle of the night having one not knowing what to do, soon after that not even my own room was comfortable anymore, kause it was too closed off, so i started hanging out in my livving room..horrible........then after about being homebound for two or threee months...said what the hell,got off the meds, started going to therapy twice a week....started making musick ALL DAY,just started teaching myself guitar more, making drum n bass and experimental shit on my computer.....and ALOT of people responded to just that....it was good...then i got offers for people wanting me to join bands and what not...my confidence boosted...which of course helps you in the long run with recuperating and what not....So i joined this band...and started slowly desensitizing myself each day ,also i had the help of a certain someone in my life...both mentally and physikally.....uhh started taking kenpo karate klasses every tuesday and thursdays...So yeah im doing that and things are going really really well....and it is fucking insane considering the fucking state i was in...
Well, recently this band asked me to join them. They already have shows and what not...got one TODAY (here in san antonio) one in laredo maybe one in houston afterwards...hopes of touring texas next year then the u.s....you know my DREAM...So i joined them as a bassist, maybe as a guitarist when we find another bassist to take my place...
But today is my first show ever....its the rest of the band's like three hundreth time or something...AND I AM REALLY REALLY FUCKING NERVOUS! I woke up with a fucking worried mind and it feels like some man is trying to push out my anatomy up my throat and through my mouth...and i dont know about you, but i need as much of my own self as i need...I need to be there...but damn....i already got people going to see me, and im a damn bassist for a band and i dont know its just all hitting me at once....What the hell?
well i guess i just had to get that off my chest...umm..
you kan check us out here..
www.myspace.com/emperialmassacre (http://www.myspace.com/emperialmassacre)
www.geocities.com/emperialmassacre (http://www.geocities.com/emperialmassacre)
if your in the san antonio area we will be playing (i better) at Tykoon Flats today, $10 cover kause there will be like 18 other bands there, we go on about 8:00 or 8:30................p.s. im really nervous...