Want to go out - but got no one to go with!!

[justinej]

Hi,

My name is Justine and this is the first time I have used this forum. I am 23 years old and have anxiety. I am taking sertraline.

I just want help with making friends, I developed anxiety when I was at school at 16. I then had to leave that school due to my parents splitting up and not being able to afford it anymore.
I went to a horrible school after that and only stayed for a year and made no friends what so ever, I lost contact with my friends from the first school and don't speak to them anymore.
My problem is that the medication I am taking is really helping me and I want to do more things. The other night I went into town for a meal with some family members and ended up talking to some drunk boys. It was the most fun I have had in ages, I have no problem in talking to them at all.

I missed out on going into town and having fun because of anxiety and I really want to go clubbing and get drunk - all the things I should have done before. But I have no one to go with! I don't want to go on my own because I wouldn't know what bars or clubs to go to.

People say - join a club makes friends - its just not that easy. I have tried joining some clubs but the people there already have their own friends and there own life.

I am fed up with anxiety and want to do more to get over it - but I have no one to do anything with.

[Dahila]

Welcome to the forum Justine:) I know you will make a lot of friends here, and they will give you good ideas. Most of us anxious people, have problems to form friendship but it can be overcome:))

[AliasEQ]

Welcome! :)

I had the same problem when I was 16. My parents split up and we moved to a new city. Didn't get any friends at first, until I started playing in a football/soccer team. And it all went up from there.

What's your hobby? What do you like to do?

You will make alot of friends here :)

Cya around.

[Sassybot]

I'm pretty rubbish at making friends. You know that girl who kind of skims the surface of friendship groups? That's me.

After a year of going to a pole fitness class, I kind of knew some people (had even worked up the courage to add them to facebook- rebel!) but still had no close friends. My ex seemed to do a pretty good job of alienating me from my uni pals so I wanted to make friends but didn't have the guts to say anything. I carried on going to pole as watching everyone chat made me feel happy and pole in general makes me feel like a super hero. Then suddenly, these girls at pole just kind of latched on to me. I don't really understand why but we all talk every day and we always hang out. I want to be closer to them- some of them even go to each others homes- but I think thats a step too far and I'm happy as things are.

ANYWAY, I guess I'm saying that trying to make friends never seems to work. Get a new hobby or try something you've always wanted to do. It will take time but you'll meet people who are better at saying hello than you are and they'll like you for you and never leave you alone even if you want them to be quiet for a change :p

Sorry if I'm not explaining myself very well!

[NixonRulz]

I'm pretty rubbish at making friends. You know that girl who kind of skims the surface of friendship groups? That's me. After a year of going to a pole fitness class, I kind of knew some people (had even worked up the courage to add them to facebook- rebel!) but still had no close friends. My ex seemed to do a pretty good job of alienating me from my uni pals so I wanted to make friends but didn't have the guts to say anything. I carried on going to pole as watching everyone chat made me feel happy and pole in general makes me feel like a super hero. Then suddenly, these girls at pole just kind of latched on to me. I don't really understand why but we all talk every day and we always hang out. I want to be closer to them- some of them even go to each others homes- but I think thats a step too far and I'm happy as things are. ANYWAY, I guess I'm saying that trying to make friends never seems to work. Get a new hobby or try something you've always wanted to do. It will take time but you'll meet people who are better at saying hello than you are and they'll like you for you and never leave you alone even if you want them to be quiet for a change :p Sorry if I'm not explaining myself very well!

There is another pole dancer here. Amber

She is in Australia so you may have a hard time going to the pub together

Pole dancing should give you confidence

Confidence will allow you to approach anyone

Then you will become friends

Then you can get drunk as often as you like to make up for lost time

[Sassybot]

It gives me a lot of confidence. Unfortunately something has flipped in me at the moment and I'm finding myself in the loos crying rather than hanging upside down :/

The girls are awesome though. I fessed up yesterday and they where ace.

[justinej]

Hi

Thanks for all your replies.
I do Pilates at the moment but you don't get the chance to talk to anyone.

I'm not sure what kind of groups I could join, I don't really like exercise (apart from pilates).

I feel like now I finally have the confidence - I can't use it!

[NixonRulz]

It gives me a lot of confidence. Unfortunately something has flipped in me at the moment and I'm finding myself in the loos crying rather than hanging upside down :/ The girls are awesome though. I fessed up yesterday and they where ace.

We are just trading replies on two threads

You crazy kids in the UK have your own language

I take it "ace" means "cool"?

I'm not hip with y'all.

I am in the states with kids

"Ace" is when the kids fall asleep early

Then my wife and I get crazy and actually have a conversation with each other

Dare to dream