Hey

[Sassybot]

Hi I'm new.

I'm pretty scared right now. Hopefully I'll get a proper nights sleep and I'll be ok.

Posted in the General forum, not sure if that is the right place but I'd really appreciate some advice.

x

[butterfly82]

Hi I'm new. I'm pretty scared right now. Hopefully I'll get a proper nights sleep and I'll be ok. Posted in the General forum, not sure if that is the right place but I'd really appreciate some advice. x



Hi sassy!

I hope you were able to get some sleep.

What is scaring you?

[Sassybot]

Hi :)

I managed to get a few hours but haven't had more than a few disturbed hours in a while now. Am sat in work trying to concentrate but it's like flogging a dead horse atm. Have copied and pasted from my other thread. Another user seems to agree that what I experienced was an anxiety attack! Can't believe it hurt so much. My chest still hurts now and it's lunch time

'The last few weeks I've been feeling proper down. It kind of accumulated on Sunday when I went to my pole fitness class (which I love) and ended up running out, crying before I even warmed up. I don't really know why. Since then my crying has got worse and my partner has convinced me to go see my GP tomorrow at 3pm. If I'm honest there hasn't been a day I haven't cried or been down for no reason for the last month and I was pretty worried until last night/this morning.

About 2pm I was having a dream (my first in a long time, it was great my bf had taken me to florida haha) when I woke up with the worst pain I've ever experienced in my chest. I was crying and shaking and my bf gave me some pain killers and a chew thing as he thought it might be indigestion. It did nothing and for about half an hour I was convinced I was going to die. At some point I must have fallen asleep because I woke up again a few hours later with a similar experience only not as strong or for as long. I've woke up drained for the millionth time this year with my chest aching. Kind of feels like I've done a long hard run.

I finally worked up the courage and told my mum and she says I've had a panic attack. My mum being who she is has then scared the pants off me telling me the GP will tell me I'm depressed and put me on pills etc. I really don't want pills. If I'm honest I just think I need a rest. I've either had disturbed sleep or dead sleep where my head hits the pillow and I wake up feeling more tired.

I can't be depressed. I seriously have nothing to be depressed about. I have an amazing boyfriend and we've got our first home together which is amazing AND we have a kitten who is so daft and perfect for us. My work sucks but it has always sucked and the boss who made my life hell has gone so it can't be that. I feel so so selfish.

Just wondering if anyone can maybe shed some light on this. I know people who had had panic attacks but they never seem to have been like that. '

[GeneAllen]

It sounds like anxiety. Why the pain killers if you don't want medication? Sounds like your brain is working overtime trying to name what you have too. Trying to figure out how this can happen to someone with everything going good right? I think this will be short lived, just get some well deserved love and support, see the doc, and if meds help you sleep give it a go. When I disclosed my panic attacks years ago people were in disbelief, they were saying to me, "you're way to mellow". Little did they know about the storm inside my head and body. You're in the right place and you'll find lots of support and wisdom from the people here who have been down the road. Welcome to your new found haven of rest. Where it's okay to be real and share the ups and downs we all experience.
Peace

[Sassybot]

Thanks for the welcome :)

I don't like meds but when something hurts that much I'm willing to try anything. An old housemate was on antidepressants and it just really messed her up.

Guess there have been a lot of things in the past that might be catching up with me. If I'm honest I've not been truely happy and at peace so-to-speak since January.

I'm always prone to over thinking, I get paid to do so! Guess it doesn't help in this situation. I seriously thought I was having a heart attack or something. Now I feel terrible because my bf Dad did have one in front of him when he was a kid. Need to go home and give that guy a big hug and say sorry

[NixonRulz]

Hi :) I managed to get a few hours but haven't had more than a few disturbed hours in a while now. Am sat in work trying to concentrate but it's like flogging a dead horse atm. Have copied and pasted from my other thread. Another user seems to agree that what I experienced was an anxiety attack! Can't believe it hurt so much. My chest still hurts now and it's lunch time 'The last few weeks I've been feeling proper down. It kind of accumulated on Sunday when I went to my pole fitness class (which I love) and ended up running out, crying before I even warmed up. I don't really know why. Since then my crying has got worse and my partner has convinced me to go see my GP tomorrow at 3pm. If I'm honest there hasn't been a day I haven't cried or been down for no reason for the last month and I was pretty worried until last night/this morning. About 2pm I was having a dream (my first in a long time, it was great my bf had taken me to florida haha) when I woke up with the worst pain I've ever experienced in my chest. I was crying and shaking and my bf gave me some pain killers and a chew thing as he thought it might be indigestion. It did nothing and for about half an hour I was convinced I was going to die. At some point I must have fallen asleep because I woke up again a few hours later with a similar experience only not as strong or for as long. I've woke up drained for the millionth time this year with my chest aching. Kind of feels like I've done a long hard run. I finally worked up the courage and told my mum and she says I've had a panic attack. My mum being who she is has then scared the pants off me telling me the GP will tell me I'm depressed and put me on pills etc. I really don't want pills. If I'm honest I just think I need a rest. I've either had disturbed sleep or dead sleep where my head hits the pillow and I wake up feeling more tired. I can't be depressed. I seriously have nothing to be depressed about. I have an amazing boyfriend and we've got our first home together which is amazing AND we have a kitten who is so daft and perfect for us. My work sucks but it has always sucked and the boss who made my life hell has gone so it can't be that. I feel so so selfish. Just wondering if anyone can maybe shed some light on this. I know people who had had panic attacks but they never seem to have been like that. '

You mom is correct. Panic attack. That's such a scary name for a condition

Anxiety and depression are two separate things but can easily be related

Many times, especially if someone doesn't know what is going on in their mind and body, people can become depressed because they don't feel it will ever end

The changes of that happening are slim once you understand that it is just anxiety and it is temporary once you begin to take some steps to eliminate it

Don't be too quick to dismiss meds.

If you are willing to take pills for other things for help, be open to a pill that can stop how you are feeling if you feel it is too much to handle on your own

The reason, or trigger that you feel this way can be anything. It's just what you have associated with your anxiety flare up

And stop feeling selfish or guilty. You didn't choose this. Just as someone didn't choose to get the flu

You are wired to over react a bit to your own thoughts. Again, not a choice

When you stop believing your negative thoughts to be true and not react to them, it stops

There are many ways, natural, meds, therapy and others that can help you get your mind to stop doing that

Give yourself the permission to feel bad without pressure while you get back on the right track

Let your boyfriend read a bit here or somewhere else so he can have an idea what you are going through and how miserable and helpless you can feel

This is temporary. But the amount of time it takes to recover is often based on how much pressure you place on yourself to get well

[GeneAllen]

Very, very important. Be patient and go real easy on yourself. NO need to add pressure to your already pressure filled life. Feeling bad about feeling bad is another trap we fall into.

Be aware of that one.
Peace

[Sassybot]

Can you actually have PA if you're asleep though? I was fast asleep for the first time in a while.

Have just seen myself in the mirror and I'm a mess. My skin is drag and spotty and my eyes are black. Think I'll speak to the Dr and see if she thinks taking some time off work later this week will help. Even Friday would be good. I'm suposed to give three weeks notice to work though... Urgh

Tim is so good. The last few weeks when I've been down (he says depressed. I don't like that word, I'm just down) he has been there for me and I know he's worried a lot. You're right GeneAllen, I can't shift the feeling of guilt which makes me feel bad which makes me feel guilty...big nasty circle really. Got to try and pull myself out of it but not sure how. Felt good when I went bed last night...

At the moment I'm really worried about what to say to the Dr tomorrow. I know she will have heard it a million times but I will be so embarrassed if I walk in there and just cry. Given that I've cried every day for ages it seems so likely. I'm also worried about what she will say. What if she says I'm a wimp or worse that I need help or even worse, a blood test. I know I'm being a moron but that voice in the back of my head has gone from telling me I'm a failure to saying I'm going to get laughed at. It's kind of a nice change in some ways as I know come 4pm tomorrow it will be sorted.

[NixonRulz]

Can you actually have PA if you're asleep though? I was fast asleep for the first time in a while. Have just seen myself in the mirror and I'm a mess. My skin is drag and spotty and my eyes are black. Think I'll speak to the Dr and see if she thinks taking some time off work later this week will help. Even Friday would be good. I'm suposed to give three weeks notice to work though... Urgh Tim is so good. The last few weeks when I've been down (he says depressed. I don't like that word, I'm just down) he has been there for me and I know he's worried a lot. You're right GeneAllen, I can't shift the feeling of guilt which makes me feel bad which makes me feel guilty...big nasty circle really. Got to try and pull myself out of it but not sure how. Felt good when I went bed last night... At the moment I'm really worried about what to say to the Dr tomorrow. I know she will have heard it a million times but I will be so embarrassed if I walk in there and just cry. Given that I've cried every day for ages it seems so likely. I'm also worried about what she will say. What if she says I'm a wimp or worse that I need help or even worse, a blood test. I know I'm being a moron but that voice in the back of my head has gone from telling me I'm a failure to saying I'm going to get laughed at. It's kind of a nice change in some ways as I know come 4pm tomorrow it will be sorted.

You can have a panic attack in your sleep

They are a real treat when you wake up freaking out

A lot of things may or may not happen at the doctor office tomorrow

Stop asking "what if" questions

Two words that can keep things going in a direction you don't want to go

[jessed03]

Hey Sassy.

Nixons taking it to church.

Just wanted to say hi :)

[Sassybot]

It was a barrel of laughs. I'm still sore from it. Sometimes it feels like it's going to get worse but I look at something daft online and it seems to stop it. I read they only laugh for like half an hour, is it possible you can have a prolonged series of them?

Tomorrow will bring what it wants to. Tomorrows always do that. I'm taking your advise and trying not to worry especially since i'm still quite sore.

Guess I'm not going to pole tonight. Need to speak to my instructor and ask if I can stay behind class one day when I'm feeling up to it and film it.

Also need to reply to my biological father. We've never met but I stumbled across his facebook profile about a month ago and we've been kind of chatting for a few weeks now. It always makes my tummy feel funny to see his picture but it's kind of nice to learn about him. Even if I do want to hit him in his stupid face sometimes :P

[NixonRulz]

It was a barrel of laughs. I'm still sore from it. Sometimes it feels like it's going to get worse but I look at something daft online and it seems to stop it. I read they only laugh for like half an hour, is it possible you can have a prolonged series of them? Tomorrow will bring what it wants to. Tomorrows always do that. I'm taking your advise and trying not to worry especially since i'm still quite sore. Guess I'm not going to pole tonight. Need to speak to my instructor and ask if I can stay behind class one day when I'm feeling up to it and film it. Also need to reply to my biological father. We've never met but I stumbled across his facebook profile about a month ago and we've been kind of chatting for a few weeks now. It always makes my tummy feel funny to see his picture but it's kind of nice to learn about him. Even if I do want to hit him in his stupid face sometimes :P

You got in touch with your bio father

Pretty cool

My dad left when my mom was pregnant with me

Have never seen or heard from him. But he was a dick

Glad you have found each other.

Oh, and yes you can have a period of prolonged attacks

Usually because you are fearing it will happen again

Anxiety is always there when you call for him

Once you stop fearing the attacks because you learn that they are completely harmless. WHICH THEY ARE!!!!!

They will ease up if not stop completely

[Sassybot]

Guess I'm going to have to learn to ignore it then :)

David (the sperm dude) left when my mum was pregnant. He never tried to get in touch. It's been a bit of a mixed bag of emotions as I want to ask him lots of things but dont think they can be done online. He lives in a different country now so it's unlikely we'll meet. Plus, he can be pretty pants at replying. I duno if I'll continue the relationship but it was nice to see a picture of him. I have his jaw line which isn't that attractive lol

[Dahila]

Hi Sassy welcome to the forum. Tell me what the hell is happening in this world. Dads become just sperm donors, They do not take responsibility....
HOwever, a lot of blame should go on woman too, ..I am happy you talk to him, maybe you can build something meaningful here:))
Anxiety is going to stay for a while so maybe read our threads about relaxation and meditation. There are some links waiting for you:))

[Sassybot]

I don't think a woman is to blame if the father of her child disappears tbh. We'll see how the relationship goes.
Am back home from work now. Going to have a brew then a nap I think

[NixonRulz]

I don't think a woman is to blame if the father of her child disappears tbh. We'll see how the relationship goes. Am back home from work now. Going to have a brew then a nap I think

What a great idea

Have a brew and go to nap

I am going to do the same tonight before bed

[Sassybot]

Nothing a brew cant fix. Woke up several times though :/

Been the Dr today. She was nice. Said we need to address the sleep issue first so have meds. Got to go back in two weeks to discuss further options. She brought up antidepressants but respected that they where a last resort in my eyes. She said she'd like to sort out some 'talking therapies' for me then as how I talk and think about myself is unhealthy.

Pretty frustrated as she's signed me off for two weeks. I'm already bored. No idea what I'm supposed to do

[NixonRulz]

Nothing a brew cant fix. Woke up several times though :/ Been the Dr today. She was nice. Said we need to address the sleep issue first so have meds. Got to go back in two weeks to discuss further options. She brought up antidepressants but respected that they where a last resort in my eyes. She said she'd like to sort out some 'talking therapies' for me then as how I talk and think about myself is unhealthy. Pretty frustrated as she's signed me off for two weeks. I'm already bored. No idea what I'm supposed to do

Well at least she didn't just insist on an AD and say that is all she could do

Nice that she keeps he mind open to your wishes

I get the reluctance to meds but they are a big help if and when you are ready

I guess you have 2 weeks to have a brew any time of day you want : )