worrysome1022
03-16-2014, 01:14 PM
I believe my anxiety stems from my childhood and being abandoned by my parents at the age of 13. I believed my parents loved me so when they abandoned me I felt sadness, loss, betrayal and all the other emotions that come along with it.
I am now 41 years old and I have issues with all relationships in my life. Friendships, love interests, marriages (divorced twice) because I never believe anyone truly loves me. I don't trust, and I am always running thoughts through my head. What if he is doing that, yeah he has to be doing that. I know he is because of this, and that. Before I know it have a whole fantasy in my heard that seams real about everything he has to be doing behind my back. Why? Because he doesn't really love me, and everyone lies and betrays me.
I have lorazapam from the doctor to help with Panic attacks and I don't really want to take medication regularly. I would like to try to figure out a way to stop the thoughts from rolling and just live my lfie happy.
That's one aspect of my anxiety. I also have social anxiety or I would say social phobia. I can't go to other people's houses because I feel like I can't breath. Where do I sit, what do I do? Where's thee bathroom, what if this happens, what if that happens... it's just all too overwhelming so I avoid it and stay home when I am not working.
I was seeing a guy for a few months but would only see him if he visited me at my place. He asked me out to eat one night and I fought through the anxiety and went. As soon as we got in the resteraunt I had a panic attack and felt like I couldn't breath. I felt like everyone was looking at me, talking about and one thought led to another. What do I talk about, it's too quiet.
I don't want to live like this anymore. I am afraid to tell this guy that I have feelings for me, fear of rejection. I am mean to him and push him away for no reason because I don't believe I deserve him. It's easier to just be alone... does anyone else have these feelings or am I totally crazy?
I am now 41 years old and I have issues with all relationships in my life. Friendships, love interests, marriages (divorced twice) because I never believe anyone truly loves me. I don't trust, and I am always running thoughts through my head. What if he is doing that, yeah he has to be doing that. I know he is because of this, and that. Before I know it have a whole fantasy in my heard that seams real about everything he has to be doing behind my back. Why? Because he doesn't really love me, and everyone lies and betrays me.
I have lorazapam from the doctor to help with Panic attacks and I don't really want to take medication regularly. I would like to try to figure out a way to stop the thoughts from rolling and just live my lfie happy.
That's one aspect of my anxiety. I also have social anxiety or I would say social phobia. I can't go to other people's houses because I feel like I can't breath. Where do I sit, what do I do? Where's thee bathroom, what if this happens, what if that happens... it's just all too overwhelming so I avoid it and stay home when I am not working.
I was seeing a guy for a few months but would only see him if he visited me at my place. He asked me out to eat one night and I fought through the anxiety and went. As soon as we got in the resteraunt I had a panic attack and felt like I couldn't breath. I felt like everyone was looking at me, talking about and one thought led to another. What do I talk about, it's too quiet.
I don't want to live like this anymore. I am afraid to tell this guy that I have feelings for me, fear of rejection. I am mean to him and push him away for no reason because I don't believe I deserve him. It's easier to just be alone... does anyone else have these feelings or am I totally crazy?