Afraid of taking medicine?

[edmhk]

As a teenager I unfortunately dabbled a bit into drugs (weed & dxm) and discovered that I really disliked any feeling of being high. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

I was prescribed at first hydroxyzine since it is non-habit forming and was okay taking it when I was feeling the haze after panicking, but after a couple days I felt even better just not taking it.

I was later prescribed klonopin, which I still haven't taken (even a small amount - .5 mg) because I'm worried about getting a "high" feeling.

The entirety of last week I was getting really nervous because I had a trip planned for today and was anxious about getting attacks so far away from home.

I had a completely strange dream last night and it woke me up, heart racing, and I went to take a half of the hydroxyzine because I still didn't trust the klonopin.

It might have been because I hadn't taken it for almost a month, but it made me really sleepy (kept closing my eyes and almost falling asleep when I was still weary of sleeping after the bad dream - but I don't think I had any dreams after that)

I feel so much better not taking medicine, but it's getting to such an overwhelming point that I'm afraid to go anywhere. I know there are some really good coping strategies - since this literally is all in my head - but it's getting so crazy.

I'm wondering if anyone knows the best route to take with this. I've been meaning to go see a psychologist and part of me is craving that social interaction. I get at least some via social media and the fact that I live with my boyfriend, but on my hard days it's such crap to see him leave and be home by myself just constantly trying to distract myself from what's going on in my head.

I know this was a long read and not entirely related to medicine but I appreciate any help I can get with this. I feel like I calmed down a little just by writing this post :)

[crussellii]

Don't be afraid to take the medication. I couldn't take Xanax or Klonipin as they my me very drowsy. Highly recommend seeing a pdoc as mine changed my life. Used to get major panic attacks and anxiety. SSRI medication stopped it all.

[Darkcloud]

As a teenager I unfortunately dabbled a bit into drugs (weed & dxm) and discovered that I really disliked any feeling of being high. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I was prescribed at first hydroxyzine since it is non-habit forming and was okay taking it when I was feeling the haze after panicking, but after a couple days I felt even better just not taking it. I was later prescribed klonopin, which I still haven't taken (even a small amount - .5 mg) because I'm worried about getting a "high" feeling. The entirety of last week I was getting really nervous because I had a trip planned for today and was anxious about getting attacks so far away from home. I had a completely strange dream last night and it woke me up, heart racing, and I went to take a half of the hydroxyzine because I still didn't trust the klonopin. It might have been because I hadn't taken it for almost a month, but it made me really sleepy (kept closing my eyes and almost falling asleep when I was still weary of sleeping after the bad dream - but I don't think I had any dreams after that) I feel so much better not taking medicine, but it's getting to such an overwhelming point that I'm afraid to go anywhere. I know there are some really good coping strategies - since this literally is all in my head - but it's getting so crazy. I'm wondering if anyone knows the best route to take with this. I've been meaning to go see a psychologist and part of me is craving that social interaction. I get at least some via social media and the fact that I live with my boyfriend, but on my hard days it's such crap to see him leave and be home by myself just constantly trying to distract myself from what's going on in my head. I know this was a long read and not entirely related to medicine but I appreciate any help I can get with this. I feel like I calmed down a little just by writing this post :)

I'm afraid to take meds because I don't like feeling out of control, but I do take klonopin. It helps calm me down. I'd at least give it a try if I were you. I also get very anxious when left alone, it sucks. If you see a psychologist, they're just going to tell you to take the meds, trust me lol. I found that reading self help books are helping me more than my therapist.

[edmhk]

So it doesn't make you have weird thoughts or feel super drowsy or anything? Last night I felt way too drowsy after obviously not wanting to sleep...

A couple weekends ago I was actually pretty fine with him leaving. It was the fact that I had an attack last night that made me so crazy while he was gone today. Thankfully I got through it by playing some games and doing chores.

[Darkcloud]

It does make you drowsy when you first take it, but you'll get used to it. It calms your thoughts so that they're not racing. Try it at night when you start it, so that if it makes you tired you can sleep.

[edmhk]

I'll probably take the teensiest amount possible at first. I believe I have it prescribed "as needed" so once I get over the worry of how it feels I'll probably feel more calm in general knowing that I have something that can help me.

Thanks so much for the help. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has this issue. I'm even afraid of kissing my boyfriend after he drinks coffee... ugh!

[Darkcloud]

No problem! You can break it in pieces, that's what I do. I take it daily because I need it for now lol. It takes about 30 min to an hr to kick in, so if you feel like an attack may be coming you may want to take as soon as possible.

[acetone]

Kpin does not cause a feeling of high.

[edmhk]

Well guys this is it I took half of my .25 script having my bf stay with me and cuddle just in case I feel bad and if anything I'm kind of sleepy so I can always sleep it off. I just want to feel normal again!!!

[edmhk]

So I took it, and it was perfectly fine.

It's so strange... My head feels empty, I don't have the rush of thought after thought.