Hi all....

[almostreadytodie]

Hi All - I just joined this board recently and hesitated posting because I'm not sure what I should say... I'm 34yo from Canada. I've been depressed for 21 years and have had Crohn's disease for 8 years. While I have never been diagnosed with anxiety I almost wonder if I do have some form of it. Whenever I get really nervous or anxious that activates stress and stress flares up my Crohn's. It's an evil never ending cycle. Since work took up 85% of my time (well it did until I quit yesterday because the stress was getting out of control) so I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I've tried ending my life a couple times unsuccessfully which I'm sure has messed me up a bit, I know I just can't keep on keepin on anymore without ending it or something changing. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone because they either don't understand or don't care. In life I've always felt like I never fit in. I'm always been the guy looking in from the outside. Sorry for the rambling, I should probably just shut up but maybe someone out there is like me and maybe can help.

Thanks for reading my post, hopefully I didn't waste your time!
Z

[jessed03]

Crohns is a bitch.

My autocorrect hates it too, it changes the name to crowns.

Aside from the mental aspect anxiety has on your condition, is it managed well outside of that?

The few people I've known that have had it have gone through terrible times just trying to stabilize.

Many people I met when I was placed in a psychiatric clinic actually had crohns. It wasn't that they were depressed, it was just that their condition had deflated them.

What medications have you tried previously, or what are you in now? Is it helpful?

I'm sorry to hear you attempted to end your life. You're right. It's a very cold and lonely place out there when you suffer from the mental shit.

[almostreadytodie]

When I'm working and things are relatively stress free, my depression isn't too bad (although I rarely feel like going out to do anything other than work), my Crohns isn't too bad either. I've been on almost every antidepressant except Wellbutrin. I talked to my pharmacist and they said that WB can augment my Effexor XR. I've been on XR for 7 years and I've been on Pentasa for my Crohns for almost 5 years. My gastroenterologist wants to put me on Humira or Remecaide but I don't really want to go on that because I've heard some people have had negative problems with it. I just quit my job the other day because the stress at work was causing everything to get out of control. I still feel like ending it all almost on a daily basis but I have a bf and my parents and I would miss them a lot. I almost feel circumstantially depressed - when everything is ok, I'm ok. It sounds stupid but when I go out as well I get jealous of people my age or younger, that they are good looking, more successful than me, etc, etc. I'm just sick of everything... I want to get out into the oilfield but I can't with my depression and my crohns. I know others in the patch have it but I guess they can deal with their much better than I can. I've tried to see a psychiatrist that is paid for by the government but they only want to give you pills and it was a 6 month waiting list. I've seen therapists, counselors, etc but I just don't have any luck. I know most of the problems are because of me. Do you ever feel overwhelmed, because you like to fix every problem at once. I hate waiting. I'm getting older and I feel I don't have the time to try and fix every problem. I honestly don't think I'll make it to 40 which is 4 years away... People who don't understand say go to the gym, however I don't get the dopamine or serotonin release that normal people get after going to the gym. I went for 6 years then took 2 off then tried to go back and I just don't really care anymore. I feel like a lost cause, which is why it took me a month before even posting anything on here. If I don't care about myself, why would others. I dunno anymore.

Hugs