jtaylor713
03-12-2014, 02:40 PM
Does anyone else have problems with goodbyes? Ever since I was a little kid, I have had separation anxiety. Especially with my grandparents. We lived an hour away, and I would cry every time we went home after a long weekend with them. Now, as an adult, I still visit every year, and the sadness increases every trip. The entire day before I leave, I cry, and I can't help it. The last time I visited, at age 21, I locked myself in their movie room sobbing uncontrollably. Now, I have an extremely close relationship with my grandma, but I don't have any underlying problems. She didn't raise me. I grew up in a perfectly normal (yet somewhat dysfunctional) household.
Skip to now. I'm 22 years old and just married my high school sweetheart. We have the best relationship/marriage I could EVER have imagined for myself. But the one problem is that he is in the military. During the first week he was away at boot camp (no phone calls, nothing but letters for 3 months) I holed myself in my apartment, ignoring phone calls, crying and literally feeling like I was dying. I called my doctor and said I needed Xanax (I had never been prescribed before). She called it in, and I used that to get me through the next week, but I didn't want to rely on it because my doctor told me that was the only prescription she would give me, and I knew I'd need it later. So I started going to therapy and talking to other people in my shoes. And still now, every single time I have to leave him, I am a wreck. I spent Christmas with him, and when I realized I didn't have my Xanax, I started having panic attacks. I knew I would need it. The night before he left again, I stayed up all night uncontrollably sobbing, again feeling like I was going to die. I made my husband drive to the hotel his sisters were staying at to get Xanax from his sister in the middle of the night. That was the only thing that got me through that night.
A few weeks ago, I moved to the city where he is training, even though I can only see him on weekends. I know this sounds like I'm a crazy obsessed lunatic, but it was what worked best for us. At this moment, I am only dreading the moment he gets deployed. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Does anyone else have problems with goodbyes?
Skip to now. I'm 22 years old and just married my high school sweetheart. We have the best relationship/marriage I could EVER have imagined for myself. But the one problem is that he is in the military. During the first week he was away at boot camp (no phone calls, nothing but letters for 3 months) I holed myself in my apartment, ignoring phone calls, crying and literally feeling like I was dying. I called my doctor and said I needed Xanax (I had never been prescribed before). She called it in, and I used that to get me through the next week, but I didn't want to rely on it because my doctor told me that was the only prescription she would give me, and I knew I'd need it later. So I started going to therapy and talking to other people in my shoes. And still now, every single time I have to leave him, I am a wreck. I spent Christmas with him, and when I realized I didn't have my Xanax, I started having panic attacks. I knew I would need it. The night before he left again, I stayed up all night uncontrollably sobbing, again feeling like I was going to die. I made my husband drive to the hotel his sisters were staying at to get Xanax from his sister in the middle of the night. That was the only thing that got me through that night.
A few weeks ago, I moved to the city where he is training, even though I can only see him on weekends. I know this sounds like I'm a crazy obsessed lunatic, but it was what worked best for us. At this moment, I am only dreading the moment he gets deployed. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Does anyone else have problems with goodbyes?