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Isabelleva
03-10-2014, 06:47 PM
Struggling to breathe, struggling to make it through the day, struggling to get myself out of this black hole.

There's no way out. I don't even think I want out. I can't remember when it was this dark before. It's been so many years. I didn't think I could fall this quick so fast. But then I didn't know what heartbreak could feel like.

Enduronman
03-10-2014, 07:01 PM
Struggling to breathe, struggling to make it through the day, struggling to get myself out of this black hole.

There's no way out. I don't even think I want out. I can't remember when it was this dark before. It's been so many years. I didn't think I could fall this quick so fast. But then I didn't know what heartbreak could feel like.

What exactly is going on friend?
What have you tried to do to get yourself out of this black hole??
Any therapy, counceling, medications, support???

We can try to help, just gotta know abit more friend...

Welcome, never seen you before..

Enduronman and friends. :)

Isabelleva
03-10-2014, 07:03 PM
Isabellva So sorry the dark clouds have descended over you. :( It's good you've come in when you're feeling so blue. I know there are days that you just want to pull the covers up and shut out the world, I feel that way quite often too. It's soooo hard. You've fell before you say but made it through again. Yes, it sucks to fall down again but we are human. Life never stays even for anyone. Ou can do it again you know. I know you said you can't even see the point of trying it anymore, what's the point? We don't always know the point today. If we stick it all out though we always find out eventually and be glad we got yo find out. Stick around and read and chat and the bad feelings will pass I'm sure. We are here while you need us.

Hi Frankie.

Thanks for support. Yes have been in dark place before, but this time the reason is different. Just found out BF needs time to think us over so we are on a break. I've never felt such pain and heartache before. It's come as shock and completely unexpected.

I don't know what to do with myself. I had thought I was in a place in my life that I was strong enough to be okay with just me...but it's not what I want or can see in the future for me. I feel so lost with everything. The world has just lost it's interest and focus.

Isabelleva
03-10-2014, 07:05 PM
What exactly is going on friend? What have you tried to do to get yourself out of this black hole?? Any therapy, counceling, medications, support??? We can try to help, just gotta know abit more friend... Welcome, never seen you before.. Enduronman and friends. :)

Hi Enduronman,

Explained a bit in reply to Frankie. Black hole has only been for two days now, so it's fairly new and over powering being back in it.

I don't feel social enough for concealing and therapy. Nor do I wish to take meds really. I'm not sure I want out :(

jessed03
03-10-2014, 07:08 PM
Hi Enduronman,

Explained a bit in reply to Frankie. Black hole has only been for two days now, so it's fairly new and over powering being back in it.

I don't feel social enough for concealing and therapy. Nor do I wish to take meds really. I'm not sure I want out :(

Go get yourself some meds soon. They're for situations like this.

You want something as final as checking out of it all, but don't wanna try a med?

Come on friend, help yourself :)

Enduronman
03-10-2014, 07:16 PM
Hi Enduronman,

Explained a bit in reply to Frankie. Black hole has only been for two days now, so it's fairly new and over powering being back in it.

I don't feel social enough for concealing and therapy. Nor do I wish to take meds really. I'm not sure I want out :(

Just a life's setback,..and you'll get through this one just as you have the other setbacks friend..
I am sorry about the BF thing, been there, done that..relationships are tough at times..in general.
I've had my relationship issues, oh man..many and two divorces so I can empathize with how you feel..
You did the first best thing that you could have and that was to open up about it, even here...next step
Is to open up about this issue with someone close, someone that can comfort you with words, thoughts, and if they're aren't available then a therapist or councel would be a great choice, especially going this med free..I respect that and admire that decision but you are leaving that door open for the time being, they may help you..
They've helped many, and they help me every single day..(some are strong, I must say and I'm working on that one)..
I take up to 12 different ones daily if needed,..no,, they don't bother me, make me sick, cause me any other issues, other than I am At Peace...
With whatever life decides to throw at me, and it throws alot of things at me nearly every single day that can be very, very tough to deal with...

We've gotta get you outta this hole.
How would you like to go about doing that, and forget about the BF issues at the moment...
Those will either work out in time, or they won't..either way, you're not going to remain in this Black Hole...
and not see the World for what it is...it can be very beautiful if we just truly open our eyes sometimes..

Enduronman.. :)

Enduronman
03-10-2014, 07:19 PM
Go get yourself some meds soon. They're for situations like this.

You want something as final as checking out of it all, but don't wanna try a med?

Come on friend, help yourself :)

I agree...it would probably be a great time to see an MD....
Don't want you to dig yourself further and further into this hole you speak of...
Meds,...will help you out of it or at least assist in finding the way out of it..just temporarily too....

E-Man... :)

Enduronman
03-10-2014, 07:25 PM
I must add that I have lost my ability to walk correctly, work, climb, lift, stand, sit for long without pain, a business, all of my personal effects, my tools, my house, sued, my Son was taken to another State, my daughters are both drug addicts, I have two Grandsons one of which I will never see and the other live with his Grandmother, I have a deadly disease, my joints dissolved, my eyesight is fading, and I have a puppy that is like raising a baby all over again after raising 3 kids now 22, 18,.15...

SO,...if I can sit here and have hope,..so can you.

Isabelleva
03-10-2014, 07:25 PM
Just a life's setback,..and you'll get through this one just as you have the other setbacks friend.. I am sorry about the BF thing, been there, done that..relationships are tough at times..in general. I've had my relationship issues, oh man..many and two divorces so I can empathize with how you feel.. You did the first best thing that you could have and that was to open up about it, even here...next step Is to open up about this issue with someone close, someone that can comfort you with words, thoughts, and if they're aren't available then a therapist or councel would be a great choice, especially going this med free..I respect that and admire that decision but you are leaving that door open for the time being, they may help you.. They've helped many, and they help me every single day..(some are strong, I must say and I'm working on that one).. I take up to 12 different ones daily if needed,..no,, they don't bother me, make me sick, cause me any other issues, other than I am At Peace... With whatever life decides to throw at me, and it throws alot of things at me nearly every single day that can be very, very tough to deal with... We've gotta get you outta this hole. How would you like to go about doing that, and forget about the BF issues at the moment... Those will either work out in time, or they won't..either way, you're not going to remain in this Black Hole... and not see the World for what it is...it can be very beautiful if we just truly open our eyes sometimes.. Enduronman.. :)

It is a setback going through life. But I never imagined it like this. One moment the future is being planned...the next moment it's entire existence is being rethought.

Am just fed up of setbacks and struggles. I didn't think I would have to be lost in the dark like this again. Now I feel too tired to attempt or want to get out of it. I've seen what the world can offer and the beauty's of it, and I can't feel the need to see it again. I just need to have enough to get up and make it through the day and back to the comforts of bed and the nothingness of sleep.

Enduronman
03-10-2014, 07:41 PM
It is a setback going through life. But I never imagined it like this. One moment the future is being planned...the next moment it's entire existence is being rethought.

Am just fed up of setbacks and struggles. I didn't think I would have to be lost in the dark like this again. Now I feel too tired to attempt or want to get out of it. I've seen what the world can offer and the beauty's of it, and I can't feel the need to see it again. I just need to have enough to get up and make it through the day and back to the comforts of bed and the nothingness of sleep.

Ah,..depression playing his nasty tricks on you...
No, crawling into bed is not the answer here, believe me...
Giving up hope, is not the answer here..you can't lose hope because that's all that any of us even have or speak of every single day...
I hope this, I hope that...You've gotta get up and follow that hope regardless of where a BF is..it doesn't matter in the Grand Scheme of things....
Things happen for a reason, whether we like it or not, and we are not told of what or why it happened, when it did...but there is a reason for the betterment of you...
Would you like for us to lay out a plan of attack for you,..or honestly, would you just rather lay there and wait for something to happen????

Enduronman.

Isabelleva
03-11-2014, 01:43 AM
Ah,..depression playing his nasty tricks on you... No, crawling into bed is not the answer here, believe me... Giving up hope, is not the answer here..you can't lose hope because that's all that any of us even have or speak of every single day... I hope this, I hope that...You've gotta get up and follow that hope regardless of where a BF is..it doesn't matter in the Grand Scheme of things.... Things happen for a reason, whether we like it or not, and we are not told of what or why it happened, when it did...but there is a reason for the betterment of you... Would you like for us to lay out a plan of attack for you,..or honestly, would you just rather lay there and wait for something to happen???? Enduronman.

I can't feel any hope this time. Maybe it's just run out. Everything just feels robotic, a routine I'm just going through. The one time of day where I can forget and feel nothing is through sleep, if only I could sleep away the entire evening. Getting through work is hard, but the evenings are worse being left alone with thoughts and sadness. It's hard to not turn to old self inflicting habits from the past, but it was one thing I promised to him I wouldn't do. Once the week is through and he's "thought about things" and if he chooses to go our separate ways he will no longer have any say in my life and how I go about it. I'm not sure I will be able to hold out if that happens.

What's the proposed plan?

Enduronman
03-11-2014, 09:01 AM
1. Find a Doctor, if you don't already have one.
2. If you don't know where to find one, as family members who.
3. Get in there to see them and tell them briefly how you feel.
4. Take the prescribed medications, it may not be the right one from the start, but we will keep trying.
5. Find a therapist or councelor that's available in your area to talk too....this is huge.

We don't want you to sink any further into this bottomless pit of despair..it DOES get better if you MAKE it better...

Thinking of you!

Enduronman.. :)