raggamuffin
03-10-2014, 04:37 AM
Hi all,
It's been over a year since I attended CBT and I've slipped back into bad habits. I don't recall a great deal about the tips she gave me and I was wondering if people who've been attending CBT could help me remember. In all honesty I didn't find her methods very enlightning. From the first session she was very surprised how much I understood about anxiety and I think she seemed to wonder how it could be hitting me as hard as it was. Putting that logical thinking into action when you're spending each day running on heightened emotions and worries is pretty difficult to do. I know you have to practice and gradually build up these new ways of thinking and such like but I feel i've slumped back into illogical and unhelpful ways of thinking which is hindering any progress. Sometimes i'm struggling to rationalize symptoms, especially as the body seems to conjur up new locations every now and then which throw me off guard. But it's these "what if" questions that have no grounding which are annoying me. Back ache is a worry about kidney failure....not a lick of sense in it. Chest pain is the usual heart issues or lung issues. Even though they're pains that are no stranger to my day to day I'm finding myself back in bad habits.
She told me that I must fully accept it's anxiety 100% before she could even begin with true CBT. So it felt like I was being forced into something that felt strange and somewhat unbelievable from the offset. I mean, 4 years later i'm still alive and i've had enough hospital and Dr visits to know that i'm not suffering from the conditions I fear I have done throughout this anxiety ordeal. But still...to 100% accept it's anxiety seems to be out of my grasp sometimes. She said that even a little doubt or some "what if" questions that you believe might hold some truth will enable the anxiety to continue in your mind and body.
I've got 2 weeks off work and so there's a lot of time to sit and think. Probably why my symptoms often feel worse during my time off work. When i'm keeping busy I can usually feel alright. I guess I was wanting people to let me know what they learned in CBT. My memory hasn't been so great saince anxiety came along. One day seems to merge into the next. Can't tell when one load of symptoms finishes and another begins.
I've got a Dr's appointment on Wednesday. I'm not sure if I want to ask for medication or not. A lot of mixed responses and opinions about them from users on here i'm sure. The one's i've tried I haven't stuck out with them long enough to have an effect. The last one's I was on were seeing me drinking every single day for 3 weeks until I stopped taking the medication...bit of an odd reaction to say the least.
It's been nearly 2 years since i've seen this GP. He was the first GP I spoke to when anxiety was hitting me with physical sympotoms for the first time over 4 years ago. Not sure if i'll feel rather defeated going back to him and asking for more advice. Since i've got private healthcare at work I was tempted to ask for another psychiatric assessment and get booked in with another therapist. The insurance provider asks that you have such an assessment so they can see it in writing before they offer to cover you for therapy.
I guess on the whole I am coping, but it's not enough after this length of time for me. I want to help myself but i'm truly lacking the motivation to do it. Which I know means that I could be stuck in this rut for the forseeable future.
Ed
It's been over a year since I attended CBT and I've slipped back into bad habits. I don't recall a great deal about the tips she gave me and I was wondering if people who've been attending CBT could help me remember. In all honesty I didn't find her methods very enlightning. From the first session she was very surprised how much I understood about anxiety and I think she seemed to wonder how it could be hitting me as hard as it was. Putting that logical thinking into action when you're spending each day running on heightened emotions and worries is pretty difficult to do. I know you have to practice and gradually build up these new ways of thinking and such like but I feel i've slumped back into illogical and unhelpful ways of thinking which is hindering any progress. Sometimes i'm struggling to rationalize symptoms, especially as the body seems to conjur up new locations every now and then which throw me off guard. But it's these "what if" questions that have no grounding which are annoying me. Back ache is a worry about kidney failure....not a lick of sense in it. Chest pain is the usual heart issues or lung issues. Even though they're pains that are no stranger to my day to day I'm finding myself back in bad habits.
She told me that I must fully accept it's anxiety 100% before she could even begin with true CBT. So it felt like I was being forced into something that felt strange and somewhat unbelievable from the offset. I mean, 4 years later i'm still alive and i've had enough hospital and Dr visits to know that i'm not suffering from the conditions I fear I have done throughout this anxiety ordeal. But still...to 100% accept it's anxiety seems to be out of my grasp sometimes. She said that even a little doubt or some "what if" questions that you believe might hold some truth will enable the anxiety to continue in your mind and body.
I've got 2 weeks off work and so there's a lot of time to sit and think. Probably why my symptoms often feel worse during my time off work. When i'm keeping busy I can usually feel alright. I guess I was wanting people to let me know what they learned in CBT. My memory hasn't been so great saince anxiety came along. One day seems to merge into the next. Can't tell when one load of symptoms finishes and another begins.
I've got a Dr's appointment on Wednesday. I'm not sure if I want to ask for medication or not. A lot of mixed responses and opinions about them from users on here i'm sure. The one's i've tried I haven't stuck out with them long enough to have an effect. The last one's I was on were seeing me drinking every single day for 3 weeks until I stopped taking the medication...bit of an odd reaction to say the least.
It's been nearly 2 years since i've seen this GP. He was the first GP I spoke to when anxiety was hitting me with physical sympotoms for the first time over 4 years ago. Not sure if i'll feel rather defeated going back to him and asking for more advice. Since i've got private healthcare at work I was tempted to ask for another psychiatric assessment and get booked in with another therapist. The insurance provider asks that you have such an assessment so they can see it in writing before they offer to cover you for therapy.
I guess on the whole I am coping, but it's not enough after this length of time for me. I want to help myself but i'm truly lacking the motivation to do it. Which I know means that I could be stuck in this rut for the forseeable future.
Ed