anyone else experience this?

[exmo]

Hey everyone.

So i'm brand new here, and am at the stage where I've dedicated to figuring the causes of my depression out.

I realize that one of the triggers of depression for me comes from a strange paranoia I have that I annoy people who are close to me. When I don't hear from friends or family for a while, I feel like there is something I said or did to make them feel like I'm pestering them. In my head, our relationship feels like it goes sour almost. Most the time I just stop sending texts for a few days or weeks, or making any kind of contact until they contact me. However, once I make that decision to not initiate contact with people I start to get angry and slump into this self pity, and in my mind turn it around on them, feeling that I don't have any genuine friends. I try to re frame, and think thing like maybe they are really busy this week. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling needy for their attention or anything... just that I feel like anythign I say is going to annoy people. Man, typing this out makes me feel crazy. lol thanks for reading

[needtogetwell]

Hey everyone. So i'm brand new here, and am at the stage where I've dedicated to figuring the causes of my depression out. I realize that one of the triggers of depression for me comes from a strange paranoia I have that I annoy people who are close to me. When I don't hear from friends or family for a while, I feel like there is something I said or did to make them feel like I'm pestering them. In my head, our relationship feels like it goes sour almost. Most the time I just stop sending texts for a few days or weeks, or making any kind of contact until they contact me. However, once I make that decision to not initiate contact with people I start to get angry and slump into this self pity, and in my mind turn it around on them, feeling that I don't have any genuine friends. I try to re frame, and think thing like maybe they are really busy this week. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling needy for their attention or anything... just that I feel like anythign I say is going to annoy people. Man, typing this out makes me feel crazy. lol thanks for reading

Welcome! You sound thoughtful and caring and very well spoken. You have some great skills and use them! Well done!

Consider this.....through our lifetime friends come and go. We change, they change, and so the carousel called life goes around. We are lucky if we maintain a friendship over the course of time, they are rare indeed!

You're not crazy, maybe not withdrawing quite so much when you feel you have offended or annoyed someone and simply inquire if the person is ok and wait for a reply might get the ball rolling again.

Just a few thoughts....good luck'

[kingmemphis]

Hi exmo

Welcome to the forum and hope you will be well prepared to get of depression. I know exactly what you are saying about keeping contact with people. I would say that if you are close with your loved ones just give them a call once in a while when you feel like it be under no pressure.

Also train your mind to get these negative thoughts out of your head by rationalising them. If you feel like calling just make the calls to procrastinate on doing it this gives energy to negative thoughts.

I wish you good luck

[exmo]

Great advice. Thanks for the perspective!