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jjh333
03-08-2014, 11:48 AM
what do you guys do on the anniversaries of loved ones deaths? This is always an anxiety trigger for me

petrified
03-08-2014, 11:54 AM
what do you guys do on the anniversaries of loved ones deaths? This is always an anxiety trigger for me

On my mams anniversary I just try and keep as busy as possible. I usually take her some flowers then plan a day out with my family. It is really hard that's why I find being really busy helps, less time for me to sit and be sad

NixonRulz
03-08-2014, 12:00 PM
This is a good thread. First time I have seen one like it

My niece who lived a few streets away and used to take care of my big ass dog with a bum leg every day while we were at work, passed away a few years ago

My sisters only child and she happened to pass away on my birthday. 12:04 AM

Every year my wife, my sister and her husband and I go away for 4 days

My sister always makes a point that we should be celebrating my birthday

On my birthday, and the day of her death, when we are out for the evening, we make a toast to my niece and say we love her

Then for the rest of the night it is only about my birthday and my sister makes sure it stays on track

I hated that she died on my birthday. Now I kind of feel like it is an honor

And my sister spends so much time worrying about me and fussing over me on that day that I believe it helps her by keeping her mind on me instead of her death

My niece was awesome.

needtogetwell
03-08-2014, 12:03 PM
I like to spend time reflecting on how the person impacted my life and how thankful I am to have had them for a while.

jjh333
03-08-2014, 09:12 PM
On my mams anniversary I just try and keep as busy as possible. I usually take her some flowers then plan a day out with my family. It is really hard that's why I find being really busy helps, less time for me to sit and be sad

I used to also try my best to be busy, but I've been trying to do more to celebrate or miss them. While it sucks to hurt on those days, it's better than it building up and showing up as anxiety later (how mine started)

jjh333
03-08-2014, 09:13 PM
This is a good thread. First time I have seen one like it My niece who lived a few streets away and used to take care of my big ass dog with a bum leg every day while we were at work, passed away a few years ago My sisters only child and she happened to pass away on my birthday. 12:04 AM Every year my wife, my sister and her husband and I go away for 4 days My sister always makes a point that we should be celebrating my birthday On my birthday, and the day of her death, when we are out for the evening, we make a toast to my niece and say we love her Then for the rest of the night it is only about my birthday and my sister makes sure it stays on track I hated that she died on my birthday. Now I kind of feel like it is an honor And my sister spends so much time worrying about me and fussing over me on that day that I believe it helps her by keeping her mind on me instead of her death My niece was awesome.

I'm sure that was really hard to deal with for a long time :(

It's nice that you guys celebrate her and then are able to celebrate your birthday also!

jjh333
03-08-2014, 09:14 PM
I like to spend time reflecting on how the person impacted my life and how thankful I am to have had them for a while.

This is how I've been more recently. Today is the three month anniversary of a very close friend committing suicide. Last month I took flowers and a small thing of jack Daniels for him.

needtogetwell
03-08-2014, 09:19 PM
This is how I've been more recently. Today is the three month anniversary of a very close friend committing suicide. Last month I took flowers and a small thing of jack Daniels for him.

You are wise beyond your years my dear! Very thoughtful.

jjh333
03-18-2014, 10:33 AM
along with anniversaries, I always worry about going to funerals as a trigger. I had to go to one this morning and now have the ole anxiety about having anxiety going on

Kalita
03-18-2014, 10:45 AM
I try to be positive and think of my dad every anniversary of his death, but it never works out that way. I end up reliving that dreaded weekend. My dad committed suicide. And of all the days to end your life, he chose Fathers Day. So it's like two punches to the head anniversary. I mourn his passing & try to deal with the sadness I feel while watching everyone else celebrating Fathers Day with their dads.

jjh333
03-18-2014, 01:49 PM
I try to be positive and think of my dad every anniversary of his death, but it never works out that way. I end up reliving that dreaded weekend. My dad committed suicide. And of all the days to end your life, he chose Fathers Day. So it's like two punches to the head anniversary. I mourn his passing & try to deal with the sadness I feel while watching everyone else celebrating Fathers Day with their dads.

I'm sure that is so hard... especially the double hit of that day

jjh333
06-15-2014, 04:17 PM
I've been so busy I haven't been on very often. I just wanted to check in and say I was thinking of you guys as I know father's day is not always a happy day!

Anne1221
06-15-2014, 08:52 PM
Have you ever noticed on tv when someone in the news dies, that people take candles, teddy bears and flowers to the site, even though they never knew the person? It brings them a measure of solace and they feel they are honoring that person. The best thing to do is something that would honor that person. Maybe do an anonymous good deed that day and know that it is done in memory of the person who passed away. A lady whose daughter was murdered at an ice cream place, handed out cards about her daughter and bought people ice cream cones.