I'm so tired of it...

[Jgirl-73]

I thought I was better for longer than I actually was...weird. Yesterday was anxiety free. Completely! I've been eating gluten free because my doc says it's been found to be the cause in some people. But I didn't have anything with gluten tonight, and BOOM! Felt myself getting more & more nervous as the evening has gone on. Then I'm feeling weird, like nothing is okay, everything is off, I'll never feel like I used to. Makes me so angry when I remember life before this! I just don't get it! I didn't have anything bad happen that triggered panic attacks. I hear folks say to accept it. Cope & move on. I'm so tired of coping...I'll have three good days & then wham! I get obsessed with finding a cure, obsessed looking up help, and obsessed thinking & worrying about it. My attacks are so intense, I fear it'll never end. I'm bad tonight, but tomorrow the color will return & I'll be laughing about it. Okay, maybe not laughing...but still.
My counselor says she is doing CBT with me but I don't understand it. Can anyone explain it so an anxious blonde can understand? Any other advice would be great too. Thank you! :)

[NixonRulz]

I just saw this one.

The thread became a victim of too many threads so it got buried

Hopefully this bump will draw a few more to see it for the first time

Gluten. When did that seem to be blamed for everything these days?

10 years ago no one knew what the hell gluten was

Maybe there is a relation. It does seems like a stretch

To me you have the classic definition of anxiety

You do have good and bad days and when the days get bad, they usually get horrible

When you get that one thought that makes you dwell for for a second too long thinking on it, the anxious mind wants to take over

This is where the cycle needs to be stopped. Do you realize when you start building something more into a passing thought?

If you do, just let it slip and tell yourself that is your anxiety trying to start more shit

If you don't, you will soon. Notice that you are obsessing over something BEFORE you let it take you down that path to googling and excessive worry

This will stop for you and everyday you get a bit closer. You are learning how to accept yourself as you are

A girl with an over active imaginative mind that tends to buy into the bad things that your anxious mind tells you

Don't cope. Accept.

Don't fight. Make peace with yourself

When you stop all the wishing you were back to normal and the fighting of the thoughts, you will begin to be innuendo with what you are feeling and how to be the person you are now.

You will become a girl with an over active imaginative mind that now tends to dismiss all the bad things your anxious mind tells you

You may always have those thoughts. Is still do. But you won't react to them negatively so it feels like your anxiety doesn't exist

You are much closer than you think

[needtogetwell]

As usual Nixon your words are so true

Jgirl: you really are closer than you think. Just a thought....maybe a bit of a shift in your thinking....rather than going back to your "old" normal, how about going forward to your new normal. Possibly one which allows for the possibility of anxiety filled moments. Be specific with your self. Create the vision and move ahead toward it!

Hang in there!
Pam

[Jgirl-73]

I just saw this one. The thread became a victim of too many threads so it got buried Hopefully this bump will draw a few more to see it for the first time Gluten. When did that seem to be blamed for everything these days? 10 years ago no one knew what the hell gluten was Maybe there is a relation. It does seems like a stretch To me you have the classic definition of anxiety You do have good and bad days and when the days get bad, they usually get horrible When you get that one thought that makes you dwell for for a second too long thinking on it, the anxious mind wants to take over This is where the cycle needs to be stopped. Do you realize when you start building something more into a passing thought? If you do, just let it slip and tell yourself that is your anxiety trying to start more shit If you don't, you will soon. Notice that you are obsessing over something BEFORE you let it take you down that path to googling and excessive worry This will stop for you and everyday you get a bit closer. You are learning how to accept yourself as you are A girl with an over active imaginative mind that tends to buy into the bad things that your anxious mind tells you Don't cope. Accept. Don't fight. Make peace with yourself When you stop all the wishing you were back to normal and the fighting of the thoughts, you will begin to be innuendo with what you are feeling and how to be the person you are now. You will become a girl with an over active imaginative mind that now tends to dismiss all the bad things your anxious mind tells you You may always have those thoughts. Is still do. But you won't react to them negatively so it feels like your anxiety doesn't exist You are much closer than you think

This encourages me so much! I do feel I'm getting better some days & then I'll have a bad day and the good is hard to remember.

You asked do I know when I start building something more out of a passing thought. Here's something I struggle with, very rarely do I even have a "trigger" thought. Or at least I don't recognize it. I have a "feeling" come over me. I always journal it as my "out-of-sort" feeling. This is where I never know where to go. I try ignoring it. I try breathing & talking positive through it. I try distraction. Sometimes one of those work but mostly not. I can't stop thinking about how crappy I feel & THEN thoughts get out of control & I'm in a panic.

You mentioned accepting. I want to but what's the secrete to accepting? I can't wrap my mind around it.

Your post is one I'll go back and read often. I am so encouraged by anxiety sufferers who have learned to be cured. That's what it is, right? A learning process.

And not eating gluten sucks!! Give me a freaking donut NOW! ;-)

[Jgirl-73]

As usual Nixon your words are so true Jgirl: you really are closer than you think. Just a thought....maybe a bit of a shift in your thinking....rather than going back to your "old" normal, how about going forward to your new normal. Possibly one which allows for the possibility of anxiety filled moments. Be specific with your self. Create the vision and move ahead toward it! Hang in there! Pam

Thank you, Needtogetwell. You've given me something to think on there. I can't tell you (although you probably know) how great it is when someone who understands gives you advice & encouragement. I hope I can do that for others someday. :)

[NixonRulz]

This encourages me so much! I do feel I'm getting better some days & then I'll have a bad day and the good is hard to remember. You asked do I know when I start building something more out of a passing thought. Here's something I struggle with, very rarely do I even have a "trigger" thought. Or at least I don't recognize it. I have a "feeling" come over me. I always journal it as my "out-of-sort" feeling. This is where I never know where to go. I try ignoring it. I try breathing & talking positive through it. I try distraction. Sometimes one of those work but mostly not. I can't stop thinking about how crappy I feel & THEN thoughts get out of control & I'm in a panic. You mentioned accepting. I want to but what's the secrete to accepting? I can't wrap my mind around it. Your post is one I'll go back and read often. I am so encouraged by anxiety sufferers who have learned to be cured. That's what it is, right? A learning process. And not eating gluten sucks!! Give me a freaking donut NOW! ;-)

You say you don't have a thought trigger but you do have a trigger

That feeling you get is your trigger and for for whatever reason you do get that feeling, that is the "come to Jesus moment" for you.

The next second following that feeling will determine your next 8 hours

How much does that suck?

You can be convinced something is really wrong with you when that feeling comes over you.

Which I am guessing is what you do now and even though you have been convinced something bad was happening, nothing ever came from it

A question often asked is, how many times do you have to go through the exact same thing before you will be convinced your weird feeling is harmless?

When you feel it come, make the decision immediately it is your anxiety and not something different

You know this to be true when you are calm

You now just have to know it when your emotions go on high

[Jgirl-73]

You say you don't have a thought trigger but you do have a trigger That feeling you get is your trigger and for for whatever reason you do get that feeling, that is the "come to Jesus moment" for you. The next second following that feeling will determine your next 8 hours How much does that suck? You can be convinced something is really wrong with you when that feeling comes over you. Which I am guessing is what you do now and even though you have been convinced something bad was happening, nothing ever came from it A question often asked is, how many times do you have to go through the exact same thing before you will be convinced your weird feeling is harmless? When you feel it come, make the decision immediately it is your anxiety and not something different You know this to be true when you are calm You now just have to know it when your emotions go on high

Ya know, I think I know it's anxiety but it ticks me off that it's happening again and it MIGHT make me panic and that is something I fear and hate with every fiber of my being. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW it never hurts me! It's irrational.

I think I need to learn to accept the panic attacks but I've not learned how to do that yet. They steal my sense of well-being and leave me feeling like a victim.

I admire your willingness to help. It's hard for me when I feel good to get on here because reading other's struggles sometimes leads to anxiety.
Thanks, again.