Kabukicho
03-05-2014, 01:44 PM
I've had horrible anxiety for ages and have tried nearly everything to combat it. With CBT and experience, I can just barely manage to get through the day without medication. Nights are horrible, though. I can't sleep or even be in a decent mood without Xanax. I don't know what to do. When I don't sleep, I'm a wreck the next day. Shaky, vertigo, spacey, tearful. It's worse than being hungover.
I would do anything to be able to sleep like I slept in my teenage years. In bed at 10 and drifting into sweet, warm, blissful slumber within minutes. Have a few dreams and wake up slowly in the morning, savoring the feeling of the warm blankets and the knowledge that I don't have to get up for school just yet. Where did those days go? Instead I'm stuck staring at the wall at 2 AM feeling bored and depressed and panicky, knowing the next day is going to be horrific, debating whether to up-dose on the Xanax or have another beer in the hopes that it will knock me out.
I'm currently starting another round of "sleep hygiene" therapy with my therapist. Sleep journal, sleep restriction, behavioral modification, the whole thing. We'll see if this time has any more effect.
I would do anything to be able to sleep like I slept in my teenage years. In bed at 10 and drifting into sweet, warm, blissful slumber within minutes. Have a few dreams and wake up slowly in the morning, savoring the feeling of the warm blankets and the knowledge that I don't have to get up for school just yet. Where did those days go? Instead I'm stuck staring at the wall at 2 AM feeling bored and depressed and panicky, knowing the next day is going to be horrific, debating whether to up-dose on the Xanax or have another beer in the hopes that it will knock me out.
I'm currently starting another round of "sleep hygiene" therapy with my therapist. Sleep journal, sleep restriction, behavioral modification, the whole thing. We'll see if this time has any more effect.