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watundah
03-05-2014, 11:04 AM
Hey, All -
So I am looking for some feedback from some fellow SA peoples.

I have been with my current therapist for about 18 months. It has been a slooooow gooooo...I know this is my doing. I am not a talker. BUT I am going to stick with it this time for as long as it takes...and I'm guessing years. I was a selective mute for 12 years, had alcoholic parents, and spend the majority of time in my head. Sometimes when she touches on the neglected child part of me, I shut down and really can't even talk. It's like someone hit the KILL switch.

I see some people on here thought that therapy would consist of the therapist asking a ton of questions, and some of that has happened. At one point, we went through a time of just chatting, which kind of made my cranky since I'm paying for it out of pocket (inside, I wanted to tackle issues, outside, I wasn't budging), at which time I sent her an email that I wanted to quit and she wrote back that we could different approaches.

So most recently, she told me she wasn't doing all the work anymore (meaning, I'm going to quit hand feeding you with questions) and I had to pick it up and bring something in the next week to talk about. I get that. I ended up taking an art journal in and we started talking about that, it gives me something to present as fodder for chat. Has anyone else done art therapy?

She seems to be quite committed to getting inside of my head. I still get anxious about an hour before I'm supposed to go in and am more nervous in there than I am anywhere else. In a sense, I feel because of that, she isn't seeing the "real" me. I wish I could just relax. It is not her, as some may suggest it is the therapist, but it is my anxiety as I tell no one everything - not even my mate of 18 years. A few weeks ago my therapist asked if we could be 'friends' because I often tell her I have a huge silly, comedic side that only a handful get to see and I understand that this is another attempt to get past my walls. I am not sure what that definition means in the therapy realm, but I am sure we're not going to start going to movies and happy hour together. There is so much that I want to say, but when I get there, I shut down. Even after 18 months. I'm wondering what I am really accomplishing if I continue to hold her at a distance. Anyone else have this problem?

I sometimes feel like a cat that's being drug across the carpet by my back feet with the claws of my front feet secured in the carpet. I don't always have "things" to talk about, because on a daily basis, my life is pretty darned good. It's just some of the connectivity issues that create speed bumps for me from time to time. Does anyone have any suggestions? I appreciate your time.

alankay
03-05-2014, 03:45 PM
This can be hard as I can't say if you are resisting the therapist or you're just scared. Know this, it will never go anywhere unless you let her in and pull down those barriers. Yes it's hard but it has to be done. It what she does. Help people get to the root of things and work on them from there.
Art therapy can be helpful. It pulls you out of yourself and gets you involved with something else that's not a person. It can quiet the mind and be very therapeutic. Get lost in something besides yourself and your scary or negative thougths and worries. Alankay

watundah
03-06-2014, 08:42 AM
Thank you for your response. This is good for me to keep in mind. Two foot walls turn into six foot walls when I'm in there. I think it *is* fear - fear of facing the past, and fear of letting her in, and of going places I haven't been able to go with the other therapists I've seen before. I keep going though, and slowly chinks are being dug into the wall. I can see the frustration in her face at times, and it frustrates me, too. It's as though I'm not in control because I can't get myself to behave the way I want to when I'm in there. I think I need to talk about that in today's session.

I also think that residual abandonment issues make me think that this is yet another person that I'll get attached to and then they'll go away.