How to change your attitude?

[Suza201]

I need ideas on how to change my attitude about life in general! My partner has been away in the mines this week and it wasn't until tonight that I realised I've been so negative since he's left. Because of my anxiety, because I'm lonely and am finding it hard to be independent! I really want to be happy and be able to lift others moods but I know even at work at the moment I'm bringing others moods down. What can I do to change my negative outlook into a positive one? I want to be able to be positive not only when I'm alone but even when people are around me so I don't seem like such a downer all the time. I always seem to blame things on my anxiety when really I shouldn't. Help please!!!

[Kadfad Harry]

I believe to change an attitude about life is to question everything. It's more about reading and listening to others; what others views of the world are.
Then formulate your own views and question those views. To every belief is usually a counter belief, for or against.

For example, you say you're lonely but are you really alone? If you have no friends or family to speak to, there are social places like a cafe
to be around people. You could even spark a conversation with a random person.

You could say it's a "Whatever you think, think the opposite" approach to a different mindset.

[Michael p]

I need ideas on how to change my attitude about life in general! My partner has been away in the mines this week and it wasn't until tonight that I realised I've been so negative since he's left. Because of my anxiety, because I'm lonely and am finding it hard to be independent! I really want to be happy and be able to lift others moods but I know even at work at the moment I'm bringing others moods down. What can I do to change my negative outlook into a positive one? I want to be able to be positive not only when I'm alone but even when people are around me so I don't seem like such a downer all the time. I always seem to blame things on my anxiety when really I shouldn't. Help please!!!
You may not want to hear the reality of this, as I did not want to face it either, but changing your attitude is a constant,conscious effort. Literally start with battling EVERY negative thought that comes into your mind with a positive one-even if you have to lie to yourself for a while. I have seen the change that this can make over time, but it does take some days of constant practice to see and feel a difference, but you will!! Eventually your mind will take over, and after being conditioned the positive will start to flow. Small steps, and know that you are moving in a forward direction. Your mind can be manipulated in a positive way for the better of you and those around you, and eventually, you will find that your thoughts will be there, (positive), without you even consciously telling it what to do-it's an amazing machine!! Good luck!!

[NixonRulz]

I need ideas on how to change my attitude about life in general! My partner has been away in the mines this week and it wasn't until tonight that I realised I've been so negative since he's left. Because of my anxiety, because I'm lonely and am finding it hard to be independent! I really want to be happy and be able to lift others moods but I know even at work at the moment I'm bringing others moods down. What can I do to change my negative outlook into a positive one? I want to be able to be positive not only when I'm alone but even when people are around me so I don't seem like such a downer all the time. I always seem to blame things on my anxiety when really I shouldn't. Help please!!!

First, I feel like a pretty masculine male but when you wrote that your partner is down in a mine for a week, I feel like a sissy and that I should turn in my man card

That dude is a stud!

I am not a huge fan of Tony Robbins because he is annoying and his hands are monstrous and when he moves them it looks like airplanes flying around King Kong on the Empire State Building

What was the question you asked again?

Oh right, positive attitude

I was in much the same place and who could blame you when you are going through this

I read a short pamphlet in an office once from Tony Robbins called "the seven day mental diet"

Pretty interesting to not allow yourself to have a negative thought for a week. If you do, start over

You can have the negative thought but you have to dismiss it right away

And really did get my brain used to not automatically going to the negative sides of my thoughts

That has been many years ago and I still do it once a month for a week

It really helped me

Google it if you feel it's worth a try

[Dahila]

Hi I used the one happy mantra, whenever negative thoughts appeared, then breathing, actually following your breath for 5 minutes, or 2 or whatever

Jon Kabat Zinn said (I am listening his book "Full catastrophe" right now) that we need to change our views of anxiety

instead of reacting we need to response, and he is teaching how to change ones views on anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, Maybe you should look into meditation?
"

[BlessedMom]

I need ideas on how to change my attitude about life in general! My partner has been away in the mines this week and it wasn't until tonight that I realised I've been so negative since he's left. Because of my anxiety, because I'm lonely and am finding it hard to be independent! I really want to be happy and be able to lift others moods but I know even at work at the moment I'm bringing others moods down. What can I do to change my negative outlook into a positive one? I want to be able to be positive not only when I'm alone but even when people are around me so I don't seem like such a downer all the time. I always seem to blame things on my anxiety when really I shouldn't. Help please!!!

I find that I intentionally seclude myself and then say "I'm all alone"....hmmm lol This past week I have been super stressed, SUP ER. So I made some more major changes ...... I love my wine, we have a vineyard and I found that I was creating anxiety by drinking, so I quit. Not happy about that choice but my anxiety has actually been a tad better. I joined the health club and have been going every day so an hour or two to myself to get the endorphins going has been really good, not as major as I had hoped but it takes time. Last night when I was in a major stress moment I wanted to go flop on the bed and watch tv, but I forced myself to go out and run a few errands, something I would never do after 7 in the winter and it was GREAT! Make yourself get out. Make yourself feel great. You can do it!

[stp4779]

I encourage you to check out Gene Allen's thread: A Key to Peace 5 Day Challenge. Maybe thinking about and posting some things you're grateful for could help combat those negative thoughts. Our brains devote so much time and energy to negative thoughts, it certainly can't hurt to shift our attention to positive thoughts!

[Suza201]

Wow!!! I don't even know where to start! Every single one of you are amazing and I'm so so thankful for all your ideas! I would love to try the 7 day no negative thought thing and would love to get into medication... Now to act on all of these amazing ideas! Thank you all sooooo much!!! I'm sure each of you know just how much a bit of good advice can help us anxiety sufferers!!!

[needtogetwell]

Wow!!! I don't even know where to start! Every single one of you are amazing and I'm so so thankful for all your ideas! I would love to try the 7 day no negative thought thing and would love to get into medication... Now to act on all of these amazing ideas! Thank you all sooooo much!!! I'm sure each of you know just how much a bit of good advice can help us anxiety sufferers!!!

You sound very motivated and that's a great thing. Do it in manageable bits and have success in each one. By the time your man comes home the reunion will be all the sweeter! Here's to you Suza! Cheers!

~Pam

[Dahila]

Last Saturday i went to seminar in Medical clinic, with a cardiologist, dietitian and psych nurse. It was fantastic. The doc told people how she deals with stress. Breathing, twice a day, once when she gets up and one before the day end..... It is very old and healing. She also said that she have a journal, and every night she puts there one thing she is grateful for one good thing which happened to her. Good way is to put notes to yourself in a jar, add something good each day, even the smallest things... Then open it once a year and read it. It will change your attitude toward life.
I do not use journal, but I spend some time before bed meditating on the day and benefits it brought to me:))
It is not important what you do as long as you do something:) Good luck

[Kabukicho]

Great thread! This is something I constantly struggle with. Part of it is that I consider myself a cynical, pessimistic, analytical person. I don't want to change COMPLETELY and be a happy-go-lucky, sunshine-and-flowers kind of person. I've read my Nietzsche and my Schopenhauer. I know how dark the world can be.

But I really do want to push myself a little bit back from that negative "edge" where I seem to dwell so often. It absolutely is an on-going struggle. You do have to challenge ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS. Sometimes it helps to keep a journal or work with a therapist. Ask yourself if you're applying any sort of mental filters to your thoughts. For example, thinking in black-and-white terms or catastrophizing things. Thoughts like "All girls are untrustworthy" or "Law school is completely horrible" just aren't helpful and they're not true. Step back and say "This one girl, this one time, was untrustworthy. I'll meet someone better soon." Or "Law school can be pretty tough, but I've met some nice people and learned some important things." Just try to balance the negativity with the positive.

"What if I get a panic attack on the airplane and can't cope and go crazy?" --> "Think about all the times you haven't had panic attacks on airplanes, or have had them and have coped just fine. Look forward to your destination. Try to enjoy the ride. Get a drink and a snack and listen to music. It's just an airplane."

[BlessedMom]

Wow!!! I don't even know where to start! Every single one of you are amazing and I'm so so thankful for all your ideas! I would love to try the 7 day no negative thought thing and would love to get into medication... Now to act on all of these amazing ideas! Thank you all sooooo much!!! I'm sure each of you know just how much a bit of good advice can help us anxiety sufferers!!!

Another great idea, and my daughter age 8 came up with this, was we have a calendar and we fill it out at the beginning of each month. We pick "worry free" days, where we cannot allow ourselves to get stuck on a worry. Sure one might cross your mind, but no loitering is allowed lol we also fill in activities to do, things to keep us moving and focused. She also suffers from anxiety so I am trying desperately to save her the pain and suffering I have gone through so for her this really helps, and me too.

[BlessedMom]

Great thread! This is something I constantly struggle with. Part of it is that I consider myself a cynical, pessimistic, analytical person. I don't want to change COMPLETELY and be a happy-go-lucky, sunshine-and-flowers kind of person. I've read my Nietzsche and my Schopenhauer. I know how dark the world can be.

But I really do want to push myself a little bit back from that negative "edge" where I seem to dwell so often. It absolutely is an on-going struggle. You do have to challenge ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS. Sometimes it helps to keep a journal or work with a therapist. Ask yourself if you're applying any sort of mental filters to your thoughts. For example, thinking in black-and-white terms or catastrophizing things. Thoughts like "All girls are untrustworthy" or "Law school is completely horrible" just aren't helpful and they're not true. Step back and say "This one girl, this one time, was untrustworthy. I'll meet someone better soon." Or "Law school can be pretty tough, but I've met some nice people and learned some important things." Just try to balance the negativity with the positive.

"What if I get a panic attack on the airplane and can't cope and go crazy?" --> "Think about all the times you haven't had panic attacks on airplanes, or have had them and have coped just fine. Look forward to your destination. Try to enjoy the ride. Get a drink and a snack and listen to music. It's just an airplane."

I'm a worse case scenario person too....I always get to the extreme. I have learned to say to myself "So you think that your child will get sick and die from worms caught from your new puppy" (yes, I really did get stuck on this one) So self how many times have you heard of that happening?????? And usually I can move on lol