bittersweetgirl
03-04-2014, 04:09 PM
So I paid out of pocket for a private therapist this morning. She made me feel kind of bad. She apologized for being direct, but said that's her style. She did say "yes" when I asked if my current issues are likely caused by childhood issues - heck, if she's going to be that straightforward, I wanted her to tell me if I'm being a drama queen or if this really is what's going on. I will likely go back next week, and tell her about my triggers, coming from her (she said I can do that).
Then I went to my outpatient program. It kind of helped... got some ideas about how to handle evening anxiety, "radical acceptance", and got some really nice, supportive comments from another person in the program that cheered me up a lot. And also - got ideas on how to handle Facebook issues. Ha! I'm not alone. I get upset when someone talks about my posts and makes fun of them in person, but they NEVER post a damn thing themselves or comment. So I'm blocking them from my page (changing my privacy settings) from here on out :). It's practice for learning to set my boundaries with people without having to become someone I'm not (I'm sensitive and thin-skinned, but that doesn't mean I have to turn into a thick-skinned person who doesn't care - because that's NOT me - I DO care). Okay, so maybe it wasn't a total bust.
And HOLY GOD - I increased my dosage of Wellbutrin from 150 mg to 300. I took the second dose at the program just in case there were issues. I did have to see the nurse later because I got nauseous and super-hyper... but I feel pretty darn good mentally!! If I can get through this initial craziness of adapting to the drug, maybe this will snap me out of my misery (it's still there, but I'm feeling distant from it now).
Anyway - posting this because it's been a big day of therapy and med changes and I had to let it out, and I thought maybe there's even something here that might be of use to someone :)
Then I went to my outpatient program. It kind of helped... got some ideas about how to handle evening anxiety, "radical acceptance", and got some really nice, supportive comments from another person in the program that cheered me up a lot. And also - got ideas on how to handle Facebook issues. Ha! I'm not alone. I get upset when someone talks about my posts and makes fun of them in person, but they NEVER post a damn thing themselves or comment. So I'm blocking them from my page (changing my privacy settings) from here on out :). It's practice for learning to set my boundaries with people without having to become someone I'm not (I'm sensitive and thin-skinned, but that doesn't mean I have to turn into a thick-skinned person who doesn't care - because that's NOT me - I DO care). Okay, so maybe it wasn't a total bust.
And HOLY GOD - I increased my dosage of Wellbutrin from 150 mg to 300. I took the second dose at the program just in case there were issues. I did have to see the nurse later because I got nauseous and super-hyper... but I feel pretty darn good mentally!! If I can get through this initial craziness of adapting to the drug, maybe this will snap me out of my misery (it's still there, but I'm feeling distant from it now).
Anyway - posting this because it's been a big day of therapy and med changes and I had to let it out, and I thought maybe there's even something here that might be of use to someone :)