Evening/nighttime anxiety thread

[bittersweetgirl]

I know we're on different time zones, but seems like a lot of us are heading into our evening anxiety zones. Share your story, if it helps!

I took a nap and woke up with racing thoughts and the same darn anxiety "attack" I've been having regularly for about two weeks "where are the kids? where do they need to be? what's on the schedule? what am I late for?" They're not even here, but my last texts before falling asleep were with their dad about when he's bringing them back and trying to get him to understand the schedule. He said he's dropping them off here tomorrow morning if there's no school (bad weather), which is fine, except... I was hoping to go to my outpatient program. It's probably going to be closed anyway due to the weather, but if it's not - I doubt I can get a last-minute sitter. Plus my kid has her own therapist appt tomorrow that I thought my ex was taking her to? I know he won't do it. I guess I just have to skip the outpatient program.

Friends have all disappeared. At least, the ones I thought were my good ones (discussed this earlier -I'm now trying to distance myself too, but am shocked at how quickly they just accepted that I'm gone). I have invited at least 6 people to accompany the kids and I on a short spring break trip (I've already paid for the place so it's free for them), and no one will go. My mom doesn't want to go if she's in a hip brace, my aunt is afraid to travel (car trip), boyfriend broke up with me, everyone has a reason. So I'm going on an 11-hour road trip with two young kids, and again - skipping the outpatient program part of next week.

Ex texted that he'd have to cancel a meeting and can I take our kid to her appt? I don't know if school is canceled, I don't know anything. I'm sick from this Wellbutrin (I guess?) and can't take the second dose that I need. Wow, I feel so alone. What the heck happened with my friends?

[Niicole Lynne]

Hope Im not being a pain in your butt since your posts seem to always catch my attention and I comment.
I dont know much about kids and exes but I do know about the friend business.
3 years ago this January my boyfriend passed away suddenly from a seizure in his sleep. I believe this is when my anxiety kicked up really bad for the first time. I had this one friend since I was 4 and she chose to simply choose a boy over our friendship and we havent spoken since. She did this right after my boyfriend passed away. When I really needed her. I never felt more alone. 2 weeks after that my other friend of 6 years did the same thing to me. I felt like I had no one and I was very depressed and full of anxiety then. It took me a long time to get back from there. I eventually started opening up to other people I knew that I didnt consider very close to me and some of them have become better friends than I could ever imagine. I now know it was a blessing that those "friends" disappeared because it opened me up to true people.
So I know it may feel helpless right now and I am so sorry you're going through this.
But maybe it is a blessing in disguise.
I hope your night goes okay :)
So I guess I kind of shared some of my story and tried to give some advice.

[bittersweetgirl]

Oh, I love your posts - they always make me feel better. So very sorry about your boyfriend - that's so sad, and that's when you need a friend.

That's somewhat what's going on here - my friend for the past 25 years knows I'm going through a lot, and she is choosing her "boyfriend" over me (he's using her, but she doesn't care - she says she loves him and will do anything for him, no matter how awful he is to her). She's just gone from my life, it seems. We were talking every day, and now - nothing. Gone. Similar issues with other friends. Total silence on their end.

But that gives me hope that this means it might open me up to new people - better people. I know right now I'm mourning the loss, but maybe it's not so much of a loss ;).

Thank you :)

[bittersweetgirl]

And now nasty texts from ex-h about how he "guesses" he'll take our daughter to her appt (I thought that was the original plan??) but next time he needs more notice. He has no idea I'm at this outpatient program - can't tell him. We're fighting about his girlfriend - we actually were getting along fine and cooperating until he started dating this woman several months ago... we'd JUST signed the divorce papers a few months prior, and he meets her, then immediately he's broke and the custody agreement isn't working, etc. (he has the kids two overnights a week, and it's too much and keeps him from the GF). I called my lawyer about whether he could really change everything so quickly because of his money issues, and he laughed and said it always happens when they get a new GF (and no, he can't change something he just signed). So tired of it!!!

[bittersweetgirl]

This has become an "all about me" thread, but I realized why the Wellbutrin is making me sick - they gave me the generic, despite a huge note from the doc on the prescription asking for the brand name. I can't take the generic -makes me wildly emotional and obviously sick. UGHHHHH!!!

[Niicole Lynne]

This has become an "all about me" thread, but I realized why the Wellbutrin is making me sick - they gave me the generic, despite a huge note from the doc on the prescription asking for the brand name. I can't take the generic -makes me wildly emotional and obviously sick. UGHHHHH!!!

Not the same meds but I'm the same way with birth control medication
They always wanna give generic because apparently it's the same but it's not and it doesn't work
It's so annoying
I always have to tell them 5 times

[bittersweetgirl]

Not the same meds but I'm the same way with birth control medication
They always wanna give generic because apparently it's the same but it's not and it doesn't work
It's so annoying
I always have to tell them 5 times

Yep!! I always have to tell them over and over, and I got the lecture tonight from the pharmacist that generics are the same (no they're not!!) - though she WAS nice, at least. I mean, I totally thought I was taking the brand name, so it's not like it was "all in my head" that I was on the generic and therefore sick. Oh well, I still have some brand name pills left - just not the increased dose I needed.

School for my son is canceled, as is my outpatient program, so I'm taking both kids to therapy, if they're even open.

[Niicole Lynne]

I got the stupid physical symptoms right now
Trying to keep myself calm that it's just anxiety not real

Chest pain
Head ache
Stomach ache

My usual... Hate it so much
I always switch
If I'm not thinking it's physical
If I'm thinking it's less physical :(

[bittersweetgirl]

I always have stomach issues... I finally got myself to eat something, and that helped, plus took antacids. Frustrating.

I think I'm heading toward recovery - just off to a really rough start, with all these new realizations and not quite getting the help I need. And I'm so achingly lonely!! I keep thinking of my ex-boyfriend (or whatever he was) - we were (mostly) happily together just over a week ago, getting serious, and now he most likely has a new woman already (he's dating online, and I know he moves FAST - he's hidden his profile, either from me only or because he met someone). Thank goodness for this forum, seriously, otherwise I'd be going even more nuts! I'm even getting on my own nerves tonight.

Let's hope tomorrow is a better day for us... I feel like I've hit rock bottom, but we'll see!

[Niicole Lynne]

I always have stomach issues... I finally got myself to eat something, and that helped, plus took antacids. Frustrating. I think I'm heading toward recovery - just off to a really rough start, with all these new realizations and not quite getting the help I need. And I'm so achingly lonely!! I keep thinking of my ex-boyfriend (or whatever he was) - we were (mostly) happily together just over a week ago, getting serious, and now he most likely has a new woman already (he's dating online, and I know he moves FAST - he's hidden his profile, either from me only or because he met someone). Thank goodness for this forum, seriously, otherwise I'd be going even more nuts! I'm even getting on my own nerves tonight. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day for us... I feel like I've hit rock bottom, but we'll see!

*hugs* :) it'll be okay

[BrookeLynnnn]

I always have stomach issues... I finally got myself to eat something, and that helped, plus took antacids. Frustrating. I think I'm heading toward recovery - just off to a really rough start, with all these new realizations and not quite getting the help I need. And I'm so achingly lonely!! I keep thinking of my ex-boyfriend (or whatever he was) - we were (mostly) happily together just over a week ago, getting serious, and now he most likely has a new woman already (he's dating online, and I know he moves FAST - he's hidden his profile, either from me only or because he met someone). Thank goodness for this forum, seriously, otherwise I'd be going even more nuts! I'm even getting on my own nerves tonight. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day for us... I feel like I've hit rock bottom, but we'll see!

I'm sorry you're having a crappy time! But, rock bottom means you can only go up from here! Things WILL get better :)

[Niicole Lynne]

There's an ambulance at my building
That's encouraging :(

[doubleA]

It's not for you that's a good thing

[bittersweetgirl]

Thanks for the support, friends :). And hope everything is okay there, Niicole!