ss_worrier
03-01-2014, 09:52 AM
Hi,
Sorry for what may come to be a slightly rant-ish post, I just have to get this out of me and know that someone else has seen it (and to know that I'm not actually crazy). I went out for a few drinks with friends last night, I know I shouldn't have, hangover-anxiety is just hell and I feel so stupid for risking it during a week when my anxiety is a little more on edge than usual.
I'm getting to a point in my relationship where I'm really not sure if it's worth it. Everything around it makes me so anxious and nothing, NOTHING is a worse trigger than my relationship, that's where it's usually manifested itself the strongest for me. I don't know if the main trigger is my girlfriend as a person, it's probably mostly me who's doing it, but what does it matter, the fact is still that the anxiety is there and connected to the relationship, and if the relationship ended the anxiety around it would too eventually. Right now it's not worth it but I'm still too scared to break up since one main fear is that the relationship will end. Ironic.
Right now she's upset about something in her life, she said I shouldn't worry and that it has nothing to do with me, told me to please not be upset, but the fact that she doesn't want to talk to me about it or talk to me at all right now (since last night so I guess it's been around 14 hours or so), she said she wanted to be alone and deal with it, just makes my thoughts spin out of control. Does she not like me anymore? Has she gotten tired of me? Is she going to break up? And so on and so forth.
The anxiety is so strong right now and so very present I don't know what to do. Exercise usually help me a lot but today I just can't make it, and this week the anxiety has been so present that not even exercise helped like it usually does. I've taken a bunch of valerian pills but they don't even take the edge off it.
I feel so guilty for being so anxious about things like these. I mean there are people who are forced to sleep on the street in freezing cold, I live a comfortable life, I have no right to complain or worry and I certainly shouldn't be doing it about things like this.
Thanks for reading, only that helps. I will seriously consider just cutting alcohol out of my life completely because it is absolutely not worth it, not in any sort of way, with this sort of anxiety coming the day after.
Sorry for what may come to be a slightly rant-ish post, I just have to get this out of me and know that someone else has seen it (and to know that I'm not actually crazy). I went out for a few drinks with friends last night, I know I shouldn't have, hangover-anxiety is just hell and I feel so stupid for risking it during a week when my anxiety is a little more on edge than usual.
I'm getting to a point in my relationship where I'm really not sure if it's worth it. Everything around it makes me so anxious and nothing, NOTHING is a worse trigger than my relationship, that's where it's usually manifested itself the strongest for me. I don't know if the main trigger is my girlfriend as a person, it's probably mostly me who's doing it, but what does it matter, the fact is still that the anxiety is there and connected to the relationship, and if the relationship ended the anxiety around it would too eventually. Right now it's not worth it but I'm still too scared to break up since one main fear is that the relationship will end. Ironic.
Right now she's upset about something in her life, she said I shouldn't worry and that it has nothing to do with me, told me to please not be upset, but the fact that she doesn't want to talk to me about it or talk to me at all right now (since last night so I guess it's been around 14 hours or so), she said she wanted to be alone and deal with it, just makes my thoughts spin out of control. Does she not like me anymore? Has she gotten tired of me? Is she going to break up? And so on and so forth.
The anxiety is so strong right now and so very present I don't know what to do. Exercise usually help me a lot but today I just can't make it, and this week the anxiety has been so present that not even exercise helped like it usually does. I've taken a bunch of valerian pills but they don't even take the edge off it.
I feel so guilty for being so anxious about things like these. I mean there are people who are forced to sleep on the street in freezing cold, I live a comfortable life, I have no right to complain or worry and I certainly shouldn't be doing it about things like this.
Thanks for reading, only that helps. I will seriously consider just cutting alcohol out of my life completely because it is absolutely not worth it, not in any sort of way, with this sort of anxiety coming the day after.