Hi there!

[Adorasaurus]

Hello everyone c:
I'm Gee, I'm 16.
I'm very ashamed and embarrassed if this, but I suffer from Panic Disorder.
I was diagnosed with it in January.
I suffered from emotional detachment from 5 years old until 7 years old, where I developed severe anxiety attacks and visual hallucinations. When I hit 14, still suffering from the attacks and hallucinations, I was diagnosed with depression and I was borderline eating disorder with a BMI of 14.
I self harmed when I was 14 for a year, then my school and family found out and I was sent to counselling.

Now I'm 16, my anxiety has gotten progressively worse since college started, and with situations going on at my college right now, things are getting worse. However. I no longer self harm, I've been clean for over a year now..even though lately the urges have been there. I'm trying to be strong enough though, not to give in because that's not a road I want to go back down.

I've been referred to CBH by the doctors, but I can't get a phone call to decide if I need an appointment for a minimum of 10 weeks, and I really need it now, to be quite honest.

I guess I'm here because I need somewhere I can calm down and think rationally when I'm having a panic attack in the early hours of the AM. I'm trying to stay calm, but it's not easy to do it on your own all the time.

I hope you're having a wonderful day, if not, I hope it gets better!

[NixonRulz]

Hello everyone c: I'm Gee, I'm 16. I'm very ashamed and embarrassed if this, but I suffer from Panic Disorder. I was diagnosed with it in January. I suffered from emotional detachment from 5 years old until 7 years old, where I developed severe anxiety attacks and visual hallucinations. When I hit 14, still suffering from the attacks and hallucinations, I was diagnosed with depression and I was borderline eating disorder with a BMI of 14. I self harmed when I was 14 for a year, then my school and family found out and I was sent to counselling. Now I'm 16, my anxiety has gotten progressively worse since college started, and with situations going on at my college right now, things are getting worse. However. I no longer self harm, I've been clean for over a year now..even though lately the urges have been there. I'm trying to be strong enough though, not to give in because that's not a road I want to go back down. I've been referred to CBH by the doctors, but I can't get a phone call to decide if I need an appointment for a minimum of 10 weeks, and I really need it now, to be quite honest. I guess I'm here because I need somewhere I can calm down and think rationally when I'm having a panic attack in the early hours of the AM. I'm trying to stay calm, but it's not easy to do it on your own all the time. I hope you're having a wonderful day, if not, I hope it gets better!

Hi Gee

Sorry for how you feel but glad you found us

Can you get to a regular doc to get a benzo to keep you calm until you get a therapist?

And sounds as if you have had some challenges and you should be proud of how many you have overcome

As bad as you may feel, you should feel great about the direction you are moving

Welcome here.

[Adorasaurus]

Thank you so much :3

Benzo?

[jessed03]

You kids these days and your smileys ;)

When I was a wee boy all it was was colon and brackets maybe a P or a D. Now you guys use c's, and 3's and oh all sorts.

Benzo is like Valium, or Xanax.

I'm glad you're getting CBT, that will help you a lot. It's annoying how long the waiting list can be though!

Nice to meet you Gee!

[jessed03]

I just reread your story again. That's a rough start to childhood. Wow. :c

(Did I do the smiley right?)

[Adorasaurus]

You did do it right c:

I don't honestly remember much from growing up. I remember my worst hallucination, having a panic attack in the bathroom floor when I was 7 and being told by the doctor that it was all in my head and I was fine.
I guess it was hard to deal with at the time, however I feel it was less so than it us now.

[NixonRulz]

You did do it right c: I don't honestly remember much from growing up. I remember my worst hallucination, having a panic attack in the bathroom floor when I was 7 and being told by the doctor that it was all in my head and I was fine. I guess it was hard to deal with at the time, however I feel it was less so than it us now.

You know this is one of the things that bother me the most about medical doctors

It is hard enough to wrap your head around "it's all in your head and you are fine" as an adult.

Imagine being 7 and being told that. Can't imagine how you must have handled that news

I was told the same thing but no one ever explains what that meant

I didn't know what anxiety or panic were

So I believed I was losing my mind and it was way bigger of a deal than it actually was

I'm glad you are looking for answers and came to this forum

Had I found it years ago, I would have been healed well before I was

[Adorasaurus]

I was rather angry. The whole point I was there was because it was in my head, they were just telling me what I already knew. Then they told me I was fine and I as confused because they literally just said it was in my head.

I'm glad you found the forum too, it sounds like it's helping you, I'm happy for you c:

[That_Adelaide_Kid]

That's a very rough start to life but you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and have over come so so soo much already.

I recently joined, mainly for help late at night/early in the morning when things are the toughest. This seems like the perfect place, even if you don't post you can read through everything and learn so much!

Good luck in the future, you deserve it :3

[petrified]

Hi Gee and welcome c:
This forum is great as there is many people from all over the world, so there is always someone on here to talk to whatever the time of day. Plus everyone is great at talking you out of a panic attack.
CBT worked wonders for me! I kept ringing up for cancellations and I got in sooner so that might be worth ago.
I agree with Nixon it might be worth ago asking for some meds like a beta blocker or something to help you through.

Jesse these new smilies are making me feel old too lol

[Adorasaurus]

That's a very rough start to life but you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and have over come so so soo much already. I recently joined, mainly for help late at night/early in the morning when things are the toughest. This seems like the perfect place, even if you don't post you can read through everything and learn so much! Good luck in the future, you deserve it :3

Thank you so much c': I wish luck of you too, friend <3

[Adorasaurus]

Hi Gee and welcome c: This forum is great as there is many people from all over the world, so there is always someone on here to talk to whatever the time of day. Plus everyone is great at talking you out of a panic attack. CBT worked wonders for me! I kept ringing up for cancellations and I got in sooner so that might be worth ago. I agree with Nixon it might be worth ago asking for some meds like a beta blocker or something to help you through. Jesse these new smilies are making me feel old too lol

I'm not keen on the idea of meds because from what I've heard they just numb you up and stuff and I have no idea what meds are what :c I'm waiting for CBT, but I'm still sort of nervous because I've not been told what it actually entails.

So far I'm liking the forum, and the people are lovely <3

[ldocherty93]

Hey Gee, welcome to the forum! The people on here are great & it's somewhere to vent your problems without being judged! First of all, your panic disorder is nothing to be embarrassed about! I know sometimes you might feel like you're the only person in the world that feels like this which i guess can make you feel embarrassed but you're definitely not! Also, well done on not self harming, that's a really big achievement! You should be proud :)

[Adorasaurus]

Hey Gee, welcome to the forum! The people on here are great & it's somewhere to vent your problems without being judged! First of all, your panic disorder is nothing to be embarrassed about! I know sometimes you might feel like you're the only person in the world that feels like this which i guess can make you feel embarrassed but you're definitely not! Also, well done on not self harming, that's a really big achievement! You should be proud :)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support :D <3