Is this just completely off the wall?

[Healthcalm]

I am having a really bad episode, where I worry I have HIV from just about everything I touch. On Monday I was walking back from the book store, happy I had just bought a book on meditation for reducing fear, anxiety and panic when all of a sudden i felt a very sharp acute pain on my leg. Like a needle stick or a sting from an insect. I kept walking to work, looking at the messenger bag I had been carrying to see if something in it had poked me. I didn't look around at the time to see if there was anyone else around me. The area was a little sore for a bit afterward.

A little bit later, I got scared that maybe someone had jabbed me with a hypodermic needle or something. My parents and my best friend all assured me that that sort of thing didn't happen and I would know for sure if it had.

I got more scared because today (Wednesday) I noticed a small bruise on my leg kind of near where I felt the pain. But there is also a small red bump where I think I actually got stung or whatever.

It is hard because sometimes fear clouds my judgement and it is tough to tell if something is a legitimate worry or not. Is this a real concern or am I just letting my fear get the best of me? I get so depressed and confused when weird stuff like this happens.

[Robbed]

Actually, there is nothing really 'off the wall' about this. In fact, when it comes to obsessive thoughts, thoughts of either hurting people OR being harmed yourself probably rank number one (I have my theories about this). Furthermore, it is VERY common for the manner in which the harm is inflicted to be something REALLY outlandish and unlikely. Indeed, 99.999999% of the time when dealing with obsessive worrying, the worry is not legitimate. You just have to take a look at the facts. First of all, HIV is not very hardy. It just does not remain viable for any length of time in ambient conditions. That's one BIG reason why it is a sexually transmitted disease and NOT, say, an airborne virus. If it was, MANY, MANY, MANY more people would have died from it. But HIV is pretty much limited to those people who have caught it sexually, from shared needles, or blood transfusions.

As for the incident walking, it is hard to say exactly what happened. But again, it is EXTREMELY unlikely that someone actually stuck you with a needle. The BIG thing to consider here is that you would KNOW if someone got REALLY close up to you to stick you with a needle. And if you did not actually notice someone doing this, and then probably running off somewhere, there is just no way it could have happened. More than likely, it was an insect bite.

As I tell everyone else with these sorts of thoughts, just simply try your best to not react to them with fear AND let them pass without actually engaging them. And be patient. If you do this, they will go away in time.

[Healthcalm]

Thanks for your reply. It just seems like my anxiety is getting much worse and the worries are getting more bizarre. I feel like it is everywhere, on everything! I'm afraid to touch my eyes or wipe my nose. This anxiety is cutting into my life.

I suppose I do know that HIV can't live on environmental surfaces, but what if I touch it when the virus isn't all dead?

I think the "what ifs" are going to be the end of me!