My worst nightmare

[Scdg17]

I really thought I hit rock bottom and things couldn't possibly be worse, but I was wrong.
After an extremely trying 4 months of anxiety, depression and PTSD, my therapist suggested I go to the doctor. (I've recently had a phobia of not being able to have kids.) So I went and had a gyno exam and physical. Everything checked out fine below the waist..thank god. But then during my physical, the doctor noticed my axillary lymph nodes were extreme swollen. Later that day I had a CT scan. Lumps were found in both lymph nodes. So tmrw I have my biopsy to determine if they're benign or possibly lymphoma.

This is my worst nightmare realized. I've been under an unbearable amount of stress for 4 continuous months so it's no surprise that it's manifested itself physically. I just can't believe this is happening after everything I've already been thru lately.
Before this, I was finally coming to terms with my grief and depression, making plans for the future, and starting to live again. I feel so cheated. I'm only 25 and I've gone thru more trauma than most people have in their entire lives. I know it's cliche but why me?!

[jessed03]

I'm really sorry to hear that Scdg. We've gotta wait and see what comes of it. Best of luck with your tests, seriously.

How long have you had these lumps, do you know?

[spartymum]

Prayers to you .. Keep positive ... I know it's hard but if you think negative that will only make it worse

[Scdg17]

Thank you guys!

I actually never even noticed/ felt the lumps myself. I was astounded when I saw the ct scan because they're a pretty good size. You'd think I feel something the size of a large grape in each armpit. But I haven't been nearly as active or physically self aware as I usually am since the depression started.
The positive side is that this is something I can understand. All my issues before this are so intangible and confusing. It's weird to say but at least this is tangible, common, and treatable. Fingers crossed for benign benign benign.