Loosing faith

[WiltedSoul]

Hi all, I am new here to the forum but not to this monster called anxiety! I am almost 40 yrs old and have live with anxiety the majority of my life.(Ive also been diagnosed with BipolarII) I can have a functional life(& that depends on how u define functional) but not fullfilling. This monster is sucking me in, comsuming me. I wonder sometimes if I will take it with me to my grave. I have lost faith for the most part. I live my life scared of EVERYTHING! And that includes medicine of any kind. Thats just one of my many phobias which seems to be like that snowball that went rollling down the hill & got biggER & biGGER and BIGGER. More recent I have developed phobias that are making my life miserable. Everyone says
"Take a pill" Well honestly Id love to do that but I get sick at the thought of it. I recently started seeing a Psychologist, been there 3 times not sure about this working. Not sure if anything is going to work & not sure if I can live the rest of my life like this. I AM AT A LOSS!! I feel Like part of me has died and the rest will be right behind. Most everyday is a struggle..a struggle to make it through this day only to face another one that is filled with the same stupid crap. I am falling apart physically, do I need to ask the doc why?? No, I know that the anxiety is eating me away and that one day there will be worse consequences. It just seems like I have tried and look at so many avenues..And for u folks that say about praying, well I have and still do ALL the time. I have to pray for faith now cuz its gone...Anyways sorry Im rambling I have no one that really understands me except u guys that experience the very same monster I call anxiety. I just wish I had a little shimmer of hope..Thank u guys for listening...God Bless :cry: [/quote]

[abcdefghix]

Wilted,

Hang in there, others have faced similar hopelessness and have make it through, you will too.

May I ask, what sorts of problems are giving you the most trouble right now?

[WiltedSoul]

Hmmm..let me see..Well I had sugery 1 yr ago on my knee..That didnt go well and I have been on crutches, which Im down to 1 now, evry since. My anxiety has prolonged me from getting better because they wanted to give me a shot in my knee, I refused. They wanted me to take anti-inflamatories, I refused. I would have loved to take those things to get better but this phobia of medication has got a tight grip on me. So if I had to say what is the biggest problem now I would say the medication phobia because I probably would be better or atleast walking on my own and working. I lost my job that I loved and evrything is just going down hill. If I could take medication I would take something for my anxiety but instead I live with it ...Everyday...Well I am willing to try whatever as long as its not meds and maybe oneday I will be able to..Thanks..Cherie

[Akari]

Now probably you have tried this already:
do ask the doc to give you a tranquilizer before the shot - of course that is not the perfect solution, but it is better than not healing on your physically damaged parts of your body at all.

P.S.: Of course I see that the tranquilizer itself is medicine. But you just need to hang in there a few seconds until it kicks in.

[abcdefghix]

Your fear of psychotropic medication is partially justified. Such medication has the potential for serious side effects and often makes the anxiety worse, not better.

Have you considered going into psychotherapy? In my experience, psychoterapy worked better than any medication.

I recommend that you buy the book in my signature, give it a read, and find a therapist trained in mindfulness-based psychotherapies, specifically "acceptance and commitment therapy".