New here, this happen to any mothers?

[Gina]

Hi, newbie here. Wondering if this has happened to any other mothers out there. Never had any issues or problems till i had my son 4 years ago. Day i got sent home from hospital the Post Partum kicked in. Quit eating, sleeping, couldn't take care of my son, had panic attacks, couldn't function, get dressed or wash hair. Had thoughts of things i cannot repeat becuase afraid i might get in trouble. The 3 bottles of pain pills in my medicine cabinet after my c-section looked very tempting as a way out. Had to have mom babysit me while husband was at work so she could take care of my son and make sure i didn't do anything to myself or anyone else. Was put on tranquilizers, Zoloft. Got better, then crashed again. Have been on again off again on Xanax, zoloft, lexapro, wellbutrin, and tried effexor (made me to jittery) Finally OB/GYN put me on Wellbutrin in morning, Zoloft at night, and Xanax as needed. She said it was hormones. Been off all meds now for a year. Made it through winter, no crashing. However still battling anxiety. Good days and bad. I have panic attacks when i go to dentist and they use the nitrous gas. Have trouble sleeping/relaxing. Get mirgraines over anxiety about going somewhere. Don't like dealing with people or going out any longer. Even to church. Constant pain in neck, shoulders, back. On Relpax for migraines. Now that hormones are better will anxiety ever go away? Only time i feel comfortable is when me and my son are sitting together on the couch watching his cartoons. Would like to hear others stories especially moms, see how relevant they are to mine. Am i going psycho? :shock: Slowly? :shock:

[Robbed]

As a guy, I guess I can't give you much useful information on women's issues. But the way I see things, your hormonal problems probably caused your anxiety in the first place. This, in turn, probably made a subconscious imprint on your mind that there is a severe problem (which is what happens with ANY anxiety disorder). And, of course, this imprint is reinforced by your continuing symptoms. So although your hormonal problems may have been taken care of, your mind still thinks something is horribly wrong. Although I cannot say for 100% certain, this is probably why your anxiety persists. So I would say that it is probably now CBT time. Specifically, it is time for you to try not to worry about your symptoms as best as you can, so that your mind can heal. Allow your symptoms to exist while accepting that they will be present for some time yet to come (possibly even a few months to a couple of years) as your mind gradually calms down over time.

[Gina]

Ya know i think you are right. I don't have near the issues i did, or the number of panic attacks. The only time i have panic attacks is at the dentist when they give me the nitros gas since my teeth are so sensitive. When that kicks in for some reason i always have one, and they are always telling me to take deep breathes cause i start breathing so fast. When i had surgery for a small hernia when i was coming out of the anesthsia i had another one and tore my IV out and they had to give me more to calm me down. I wish i could get over the social anxiety though. I'm not sure how to do that. I HATE meeting people, and going out. I'd rather stay home. When i do go out, i don't socialize at all, and i get real stand offish. I have heard so many times people say i'm stuck up, and i'm not, i'm just to dam shy and scared to say a word to anyone. It was nice hearing from you! :)

[lenalane]

Hi Gina,
I have a couple of questions! For one thing, I am nervous about ever having a baby for the reason it sounds like you suffered - serious panic attacks after the baby is born. I am SO scared of not being able to handle being a good mom and not having serious panic attacks. Did you ever have any panic or anxiety BEFORE you got pregnant?

I think that being on the birth control pill causes anxiety for me. Actually, I'm sure it does. The hormonal imbalance affects me alot. Anyway, about your social anxiety. It's totally understandable. People think I am so stuck up, as well - because I am so nervous. I act weird and ppl either think I'm weird or a b###. I am a former model and get so nervous in public, go figure. My advise is just to make an effort. Even if it's just going out with your husband, or a friend for a glass of wine. And remember, when you meet ppl, they are mostly thinking of themselves and what kind of impression they are making on YOU. We are all a bit vain.

One last thing, try to take time for yourself each day. Some things that you can do: take a bath, read a magazine, make a glass of hot tea, etc. I find that that really helps. Also, get your confidence up.

[Gina]

Hi lenalane, nice to hear from you. To answer your question, I NEVER had any issues with anxiety or depression before my delivery. I was fine till the day i went got discharged from the hospital. I should've spoke up that day and told a nurse. I did not want to go home at all. I just went becuase that is what i should have wanted. I started crying the minute i got home. I quit sleeping, eating, and could not take care of my son. My husband had to drop off me and my son with my parents during the day till he got off work. My dr would not allow me to be alone. I had suicidal thoughts, and started having panic attacks. It was a cross between PPD and my hormones being so out of whack. I was on: Lexapro, tried Effexor, went to Zoloft at night and Wellbutrin during the day. I was on Xanax and Lorazpram. It took 3 years for my hormones to just now start to be back at normal levels. But i still have anxiety. I only have panic attacks now when i go under at the dentist or when i have a migraine coming on. But do not let this determine your decision on whether or not to have a baby. As my doctor told my mom, it's not a common thing ths PPD, but it is reconized now. Your chance of having the same issues i did is probably a 85% of not having it and 15% you will. I was also in the mind set for many many years that i was not going to ever have kids, it's not something i wanted. But finally being around someone through their pregnancy let me get a chance to really find out what it might be like, instead of listening to all the horror stories. Please don't let this determine your decision. I have not had one minute of regret about having my son. He is my heart. And i would go through it all again for him. It's doubtful i will have another but that is for financial reasons, not the PPD issues. My OB also stated if i do have another, during my 8th month they can start me on med's to help with the PPD. So it would not happen again.
Who did you model for? That would be such a interesting job!
The social anxiety? Yeah that is gonna take a lot for me to get through. I have issues just trying to get to church with my parents. I end up getting a migraine cause i get so worked up and nervous. I have a non stop feeling i'm being watched and judged, and i haven't been able to get through that. I'm starting to think if i just not like a person first or not meet them at all, i won't have to worry that they will hate me first. :cry:
I have no friends i go out with. No one from high school days. I have acquaintences from work, but none i really hang out with. They all want to go to bars, and i can't bring myself to go. I wish i was stronger like you to get passed this.

[lenalane]

Hey! Thank you SO much for the words of wisdom. I worry about PPD and panic attacks when I have a baby - and the huge resonsibility it is. But really, I see people in my city everyday that are not fit to be parents and somehow they manage - so I hope I'll be okay when the time comes. I was a model in New York for 7 years, now I live in Ohio and am finishing up my BA. I will be turning 30 next week and am trying not to freak. :) I think back in October I had enough of a panic attack for 10 people. It lasted for about two months. I lost nearly 15lbs (of which I have gained all back + 5) :( But, alas, things are good. I keep a bottle of Ativan in my purse at all times in case I sense a panic coming on. Like you, I also get panicky when I get bad headaches. As for social anxiety, it's a struggle. I work at it. I would seriously rather stay home than go out. Some miniscule part of me still likes to be social and meet new people in hopes that I'll find a good friend. Maybe that's the wrong reason to meet people. Dunno. You know what? SO many people get nervous about going to church! I am not a church-goer, but have heard that it is one place that ppl get nervous. But I understand that you feel like people are looking at you and judging you - I feel the same way. Just put a big smile on your face and you'd be amazed at how warm a reaction you'll get. Honestly, those ppl are thinking of themselves and how they look. Just work at it (a little). :)
Hope you're well.
Lena