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View Full Version : Want to scream.



leahxox
02-23-2014, 03:32 AM
I'm so annoyed and frustrated right now. I want to fucking scream. It's 5:30 am and I'm exhausted but I physically cannot sleep because the second I start to doze off I'm jolted awake because I stop breathing, followed by me shooting up and gasping for air. And for once I wasn't even anxious! Just watching tv to fall asleep and low and behold this whole jolting breathing thing flares up. I'm so sick of this and living like this. Nothing can ever just be normal, anxiety gets in the way of everything. I try so hard to stay positive about my anxiety and everything but at this point I'm so so fucking done. I just want to be normal. I don't wanna do this anymore.

Sorry guys, don't mean to be so negative and bitchy but I've just had it up to here. This has been the worst 2 months of my life.

And now I've gotten so upset I feel like I NEED a Xanax because I can't breathe and am freaking out, and I HAAATE that. God damnit.

Applecherry
02-23-2014, 03:50 AM
I'm so annoyed and frustrated right now. I want to fucking scream. It's 5:30 am and I'm exhausted but I physically cannot sleep because the second I start to doze off I'm jolted awake because I stop breathing, followed by me shooting up and gasping for air. And for once I wasn't even anxious! Just watching tv to fall asleep and low and behold this whole jolting breathing thing flares up. I'm so sick of this and living like this. Nothing can ever just be normal, anxiety gets in the way of everything. I try so hard to stay positive about my anxiety and everything but at this point I'm so so fucking done. I just want to be normal. I don't wanna do this anymore.

Sorry guys, don't mean to be so negative and bitchy but I've just had it up to here. This has been the worst 2 months of my life.

And now I've gotten so upset I feel like I NEED a Xanax because I can't breathe and am freaking out, and I HAAATE that. God damnit.

Sorry you're dealing with that, I've been there before. It's really nothing to worry about, because, it's just your body keeps waking you up cause it's not ready for sleep. And it's letting you know the adjustment isn't appreciated, but, it'll perhaps adapt to your wishes tomorrow night. Lol

Another possible factor could be hunger, if you're hungry before bed, eating a little something defiantly helps to fall asleep. In fact, I've had nights where I could not sleep due to stomach growling, and once I ate, I feel right asleep. But again don't stress much on this, it's happened to me many times.

Applecherry
02-23-2014, 03:53 AM
To add feelings of no breath are also part of the subconscious kind of harsh way to wake you up when the body didn't want you sleeping.

leahxox
02-23-2014, 12:35 PM
Thanks. I feel like I've tried and tried and nothing will ever help me and I'll just be stuck this way forever :( just feeling really discouraged lately.

Jgirl-73
02-23-2014, 12:45 PM
I thought I was the only one who ever did this! It happens frequently. Sometimes it brings on panic and sometimes not. I did it last night till after 1 am & then woke up at 6. I used to sleep like the dead but no longer. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

bittersweetgirl
02-23-2014, 01:04 PM
Ditto. Have barely slept for 3 days. If I do sleep, I wake up suddenly in an anxiety attack. I take meds for sleep and they're like a joke now. I'm sick of it too. I'm dealing with a few crises right now and completely unable to get through them (getting professional help AGAIN tomorrow). I'm mad that I've lost three days to this severe insomnia and anxiety. Not to mention basically my whole life. Lost another boyfriend two days ago because I'm such a pain with my anxiety (he said so - and I tried SO HARD to manage it with him), and I make terrible choices in men anyway. Like really? More punishment (the breakup) because I'm anxious? Ugh. Sorry. Went on my own vent!

NixonRulz
02-23-2014, 01:36 PM
I'm so annoyed and frustrated right now. I want to fucking scream. It's 5:30 am and I'm exhausted but I physically cannot sleep because the second I start to doze off I'm jolted awake because I stop breathing, followed by me shooting up and gasping for air. And for once I wasn't even anxious! Just watching tv to fall asleep and low and behold this whole jolting breathing thing flares up. I'm so sick of this and living like this. Nothing can ever just be normal, anxiety gets in the way of everything. I try so hard to stay positive about my anxiety and everything but at this point I'm so so fucking done. I just want to be normal. I don't wanna do this anymore.

Sorry guys, don't mean to be so negative and bitchy but I've just had it up to here. This has been the worst 2 months of my life.

And now I've gotten so upset I feel like I NEED a Xanax because I can't breathe and am freaking out, and I HAAATE that. God damnit.


How good was it to scream that? You can feel your passion in your words.

Be fed up. Be super angry.

That is a sure fire sign that you are ready to face this head on and not wish or pray it away

It won't stop if you do nothing and sometimes to do something, the more stress you are put under so it gets even worse

It's a fine line to so nothing or something

So where do you go from here?

What are the things that you have tried and had no success?

When people are at the end of their rope, I always think that a SSRI is the best choice if you are willing

Long term help but the 6 week wait until full effect can be bit too long for some

You will do this. You have the drive and you can see how badly you want to live without this always sneaking back up

Use your anger for your benefit, not to let it fuel your anxiety

Niicole Lynne
02-23-2014, 07:19 PM
Ditto. Have barely slept for 3 days. If I do sleep, I wake up suddenly in an anxiety attack. I take meds for sleep and they're like a joke now. I'm sick of it too. I'm dealing with a few crises right now and completely unable to get through them (getting professional help AGAIN tomorrow). I'm mad that I've lost three days to this severe insomnia and anxiety. Not to mention basically my whole life. Lost another boyfriend two days ago because I'm such a pain with my anxiety (he said so - and I tried SO HARD to manage it with him), and I make terrible choices in men anyway. Like really? More punishment (the breakup) because I'm anxious? Ugh. Sorry. Went on my own vent!


THis is how I feel... I cant fricken sleep anymore and I just dont know what to do. Im here for you if you ever wanna chat

Niicole Lynne
02-23-2014, 07:20 PM
I'm so annoyed and frustrated right now. I want to fucking scream. It's 5:30 am and I'm exhausted but I physically cannot sleep because the second I start to doze off I'm jolted awake because I stop breathing, followed by me shooting up and gasping for air. And for once I wasn't even anxious! Just watching tv to fall asleep and low and behold this whole jolting breathing thing flares up. I'm so sick of this and living like this. Nothing can ever just be normal, anxiety gets in the way of everything. I try so hard to stay positive about my anxiety and everything but at this point I'm so so fucking done. I just want to be normal. I don't wanna do this anymore.

Sorry guys, don't mean to be so negative and bitchy but I've just had it up to here. This has been the worst 2 months of my life.

And now I've gotten so upset I feel like I NEED a Xanax because I can't breathe and am freaking out, and I HAAATE that. God damnit.

I am in the same boat as you girl.
anytime u wanna chat just let me know because im usually up and cant sleep because of the same shit.
hopefully it will get better for both of us <3

bittersweetgirl
02-23-2014, 07:59 PM
We should have 4 AM chat discussion sometime :) I'll check in next time I'm up late!

Niicole Lynne
02-23-2014, 08:02 PM
We should have 4 AM chat discussion sometime :) I'll check in next time I'm up late!

I'll do the same!! :)

leahxox
02-23-2014, 09:39 PM
That would be great girls!! At least we can be miserable together lol <3

leahxox
02-23-2014, 09:42 PM
How good was it to scream that? You can feel your passion in your words. Be fed up. Be super angry. That is a sure fire sign that you are ready to face this head on and not wish or pray it away It won't stop if you do nothing and sometimes to do something, the more stress you are put under so it gets even worse It's a fine line to so nothing or something So where do you go from here? What are the things that you have tried and had no success? When people are at the end of their rope, I always think that a SSRI is the best choice if you are willing Long term help but the 6 week wait until full effect can be bit too long for some You will do this. You have the drive and you can see how badly you want to live without this always sneaking back up Use your anger for your benefit, not to let it fuel your anxiety

The way you word things is so calming for some reason. I appreciate it. I've actually been on Zoloft for almost 2 years. My main problem right now is that during the day I am 100% fine.. But at night it's like I'm a completely differnt person. It's so unbelievably frustrating. I feel crazy, every little thing freaks me out. I become paranoid and tingly and my heart races so hard. I wish I could just have a magic pill to just put me to sleep. I've never thought of using me anger towards it to my benefit though... It would definitely be a different way to approach it.. Just not sure how to go about that. Thanks for posting. xoxo

lizard0921
02-23-2014, 10:18 PM
I felt like screaming and crying yesterday! I too was fed up, irritable, stressed and this anxiety does NOT make things easier. I remember just feeling like I was tired of doing this every day over again. Waiting for another stupid symptom to kick in so I can freak out about that too!

I think we all wished to be normal again, but just remember that "ALL IS WELL!" God will help us through this!

bittersweetgirl
02-24-2014, 01:34 AM
I'm up again! After 2:30 here. Night 4 of no sleep. No one to help me tomorrow and I need it desperately.

leahxox
02-24-2014, 01:44 AM
I felt like screaming and crying yesterday! I too was fed up, irritable, stressed and this anxiety does NOT make things easier. I remember just feeling like I was tired of doing this every day over again. Waiting for another stupid symptom to kick in so I can freak out about that too! I think we all wished to be normal again, but just remember that "ALL IS WELL!" God will help us through this!

I was the same way. Sometimes the weight if anxiety and waiting for it to hit can be so stressful... but at least we all have each other here :)

leahxox
02-24-2014, 01:45 AM
I'm up again! After 2:30 here. Night 4 of no sleep. No one to help me tomorrow and I need it desperately.

Me too! It's 345 and I just painted my nails.. I quit my job a couple weeks ago and recently had an interview and I'm terrified I'll still be like this if I get the new job. Sleeping issues are the worst.

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 08:04 AM
Leah!!! and all you other girls....
You have my permission to punch Jesse in the face!
He didn't send my penny....he knows what that penny means..
So, help me out and get my penny pleeeaaassseeee!!!..

Hope today gets better for you all, sending thoughts and wishes your way....

Enduronman.. :)

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 08:19 AM
He still hasn't sent my friggin penny!!!
So, I thought I would let all these girls take care of him for me..they'll get my friggin penny
They want to scream!! So, they can scream at Jesse and punch him too!!!
That's part of their new therapy....but now they have an actual person to focus on....YAY!!!

I need my Good Luck back!!!

E-Man... :D

NixonRulz
02-24-2014, 08:22 AM
He still hasn't sent my friggin penny!!! So, I thought I would let all these girls take care of him for me..they'll get my friggin penny They want to scream!! So, they can scream at Jesse and punch him too!!! That's part of their new therapy....but now they have an actual person to focus on....YAY!!! I need my Good Luck back!!! E-Man... :D

EMan. He isn't who he says

He's just a bored lonely guy that lives in Jersey

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 08:26 AM
EMan. He isn't who he says

He's just a bored lonely guy that lives in Jersey

Well if he lives in Jersey then he could throw me my penny!!!...LOL!

I'm going to get all these girls and form a Let's not focus on our sleep Issues and Let's focus on pounding Jesse gang going!!!....BAHAAAAHA!!!

Jesse??? Where are you??? I have some new friends that wanna talk to you.... :)

E-Man....

bittersweetgirl
02-24-2014, 08:35 AM
Hey all! Not understanding the penny thing ;) but got a couple more hours of sleep and feel slightly closer to normal (ha!). Hope the rest of you got some sleep... let's try it again tonight! We'd be a hit at a slumber party, up all night making mischief and painting nails :)

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 08:42 AM
Hey all! Not understanding the penny thing ;) but got a couple more hours of sleep and feel slightly closer to normal (ha!). Hope the rest of you got some sleep... let's try it again tonight! We'd be a hit at a slumber party, up all night making mischief and painting nails :)

Short explanation friend:
I sent Jesse a gift for Christmas..a box filled with supplements.
Whenever I do something "nice or kind" even if it's a gift,..I have bad luck afterwards..
If I buy a Christmas dinner for some strangers, without their giving me a penny in return, I have something bad happen..
If I give someone money for gas, or help them change a flat tire, or help them push their car out of the roadway,..without a penny in return, something bad happens...

Well, he hasn't sent my penny!! ONE CENT!! back from London...and I'm in America..and bad things have been happening!!..

HELP!!!

That's the penny story..so take that extra sleep you got and turn it into something positive and go get my penny!!...LOL!

E-Man.. :)

jessed03
02-24-2014, 08:46 AM
*Hides behind the curtain*

Jesse isn't here... This is his maid Conseuala..

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 09:13 AM
*Hides behind the curtain*

Jesse isn't here... This is his maid Conseuala..

Well little Ms. Conseuala!!

Find a penny on his floor and find his bank card and send it to me!!!

E-Man....:(

bittersweetgirl
02-24-2014, 09:43 AM
E-Man, you crack me up. Let's work on getting that penny for you :)

jessed03
02-24-2014, 09:45 AM
Well little Ms. Conseuala!!

Find a penny on his floor and find his bank card and send it to me!!!

E-Man....:(

No...no....

Misser Jesse no home...

I... keep this penny... I need more lemon pledge

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 10:01 AM
No...no....

Misser Jesse no home...

I... keep this penny... I need more lemon pledge

LMAO!!!

Yes, help me Bitter!!

:)

lizard0921
02-24-2014, 01:02 PM
Lmao! I wished forums were always this uplifting :)

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 01:22 PM
Lmao! I wished forums were always this uplifting :)

Go find Jesse and get my penny Lizard!!! You got this!!!...HELPPPP!!! LOL!

E-Man.. :)

leahxox
02-24-2014, 01:39 PM
Hahaha I have no idea how my post turned into all this but I'm sure a slumber party and punching someone would help me next time :) you guys are all too funny.

NixonRulz
02-24-2014, 01:42 PM
Hahaha I have no idea how my post turned into all this but I'm sure a slumber party and punching someone would help me next time :) you guys are all too funny.

See what you have inspired, Leah?!!!

Enduronman
02-24-2014, 01:43 PM
His name is Jesse!!! PLEASE help me Leah!!!... Sorry to turn this all around and disrupt the thread but considering you're all struggling with the same issues I thought you could all team up and hunt him down!! A distraction LOL!!!..

I truly hope that today is better for you Leah and everyone else that has posted here too...

Enduronman... :)

lizard0921
02-24-2014, 02:33 PM
Haha! I don't want to be a violent person anymore :)))) jk!