I conquered one of my biggest fears today!!!

[Blessed]

My family and I went snowmobiling (my first time ever) 90 miles round trip thru Yellowstone today. I have been quite anxious about this upcoming event .... Being so far from civilization or hospitals or clinics etc... You know, our infamous comfort zones. So any who I had to take an Ativan before we started out because the anxious mode was too intense. I was driving one with my daughter, my husband on one with our son. Their were several more snowmobiles and one guide who picked up quickly that I was nervous. The location we went to had just got three feet of fresh snow and the road was what you might say....treacherous ! So here I go.... Pounding heart...check! Heart palps .... Check! Lightheaded and nauseous ...check! Shaky....check! Fear of dying or passing out or anaphylactic shock or wrecking this beast Mobil or avalanche or running out of gas or freezing to death or smothering........CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK!!!! Every thought that could paralyze me into fear was doing its job. I was an absolute nervous wreck. I literally felt like I would throw up but I kept on pushing my self. I prayed and kept on pushing, I thought of songs in my head and kept on pushing . Once we arrived and ate lunch we seen old faithful, really amazing. Then the much dreaded ride back. All these feeling came bubbling up inside ready to spew any second just like old faithful. The more I rode the sicker I got but I kept pushing !!!! The guide seen I had had enough and strapped my snowmobile to his and we finish the last 2 miles! I did it!!! I went 88 miles of anxious anxiety nightmare that I brought on myself but yet I kept pushing. I wanted to turn around or get someone to drive me or wait till the group came back thru to pick me up but I KEPT PUSHING!!! Once we made if back and I thanked the good Lord above for watching over me, everyone complimented me on how well I handled myself in the dangerous snow , many riders said they didn't have the guts to do it. So I said all that to say this....... If we keep pushing and striving to be anxiety free, hitting this beast head on and letting it know who is in control will make us better in the long run. Yeah it's scary sometimes, it's down right frightening , but we have to keep pushing!!! Well wishes to all!

[Goomba]

What an experience! Amazing.

[jessed03]

Amazing blessed. Just amazing :)

[NixonRulz]

Blessed - just stop posting for advice cause YOU GOT THIS SHIT!!!

It doesnt do anything and you are finding all this out because you have made some great steps lately

Whether you stay home and cry or you go out and live life, the same thing always happens to you. NOTHING!!!!!

Keep doing things and feeling the panic then realizing that nothing can harm you

Pretty soon,than anxiety gives up because you have grown too strong

Can you feel it? I know you can

So happy for you

This is becoming a memory

[Blessed]

Many thanks!! Ready for this all to be a memory in my rear view mirror, in fact in all our rear view mirrors. Life is to precious to be tangled in daily torment !

[NixonRulz]

Many thanks!! Ready for this all to be a memory in my rear view mirror, in fact in all our rear view mirrors. Life is to precious to be tangled in daily torment !

The woman who was always asking for advice is now telling us what we need to do

You've crossed over, Blessed

Nice to have you here

[Blessed]

It's been a loooonnngg bumpy ride full of fear torment worry self doubt but you're right, I think I have arrived :). Thanks to all of you for being patient, honest, understanding, and most of all just "there" when I couldn't deal. I'm sure I'll still have bad days as we all do, but I feel more equipped , thanks again !!!

[Dahila]

Blessed that's awesome :)

[Enduronman]

CHECK CHECK CHECK Blessed One!!! That is friggin awesome!! :)

[Blessed]

Wow!!!! I am sooooo proud of myself right now! Thank the good Lord I have been on three flights in seven days and I must say each one got a little easier! This would have been impossible 3 years ago. I kept my mind occupied and was bummed the flight was over cause my movie was still playing........ WHAT???? Is this For real? Am I actually trying to get a grip on reality? Again I feel so grateful to have special friends like you that have been more of a help to me than you can imagine!!! Yes I know I will still have bad days, but I'm soaking up this victory with all my might! I pray you all have a very blessed and special day!!

[NixonRulz]

OK, now you are just bragging, Blessed!

Great to here

You were in a bad place a few months back

Amazing watching you getting back to being the person you want to be

[Blessed]

Thank you, I by no means want to brag, but I am just so relieved to have some relief if that makes sense. I was beginning to wonder if I would always be that way, now I know ANYTHING is possible!

[NixonRulz]

If you choose to, no one here what have any problem with you bragging

You've earned it!

[BlessedMom]

How awesome and exciting
wtg:cool:

[jessed03]

How awesome and exciting
wtg:cool:

Have you noticed you can't help loving these Blessed's? We've got Blessed, and BlessedMom, both a delight!

Brb changing my screen name to BlessedJessed03

[Enduronman]

YAY BLESSED!!!!

What an awesome change of spirit lately!!!

Have a great day too friend!

Enduronman :)

[stp4779]

So awesome Blessed! Your story made my day today!

[GeneAllen]

I congratulate you!! It however does not surprise me as I know you have all you need. Peace

[Blessed]

Thank you all so much!! I find myself doing so much better while away from work, at work was where I had my very first knock down drag out panic attack and the ambulance came and I spent the night in the hospital 6/11/11. I have been off work for 10 days. My question is this . Even when I'm off for the weekend (I work at a bank btw) Mondays are always full of stress and scary thoughts and heart palps! I'm dreading going back tomorrow I fear my great strides I have made will plummet once I go back in , start stressing and having palps. What can I do to ease the stressors of returning to work. It's like there's a lot of tension , self brought on I'm sure but it's like my work is an anxiety trigger for me..... But I gotta work!

[Dahila]

Blessed, everyday I force myself to drive to work. I work parttime and it still make me sick, It is crowded place, a lot of noise, It is not easy but we got to do it:) You will be fine, you survived your vacation , did you not? :) Good luck:)

[Blessed]

How can I retrain my mind to stop relating my job to my anxiety history , so I can get over being so anxious? I hope that made sense, basically I guess what I'm trying to do is desensitize my self to my job (that being where my first attacked occurred) so I can focus on work and not the fear of another attack?