Help me please. I need advice..

[sarah1493]

So basically last year, my stepfather whom I have never had any issues with and have known as my father since I was born tried masturbating in front of me and tried getting me to touch him. It scarred me horribly. I know worse could've happened, and I know that people have gone through worse, but it damaged me more than I could explain. I left that house immediately and now I live with my fiancés parents as he is in the marines and isn't home often.but me and his parents have a very close relationship and are very much family.

Well today I came home and was walking past the living room and my father in law was in the living room doing what looked like masturbating but I just kept walking. When he realized I was in the house it looked like he immediately covered up bit anything I saw was out of the corner of my eye. Then a few minutes later he talked to me like everything was normal.

I do have horrible anxiety and it was only made worse when my stepfather did what he did. So now I'm sitting here having a panic attack. Because of what I saw with my father in law I keep panicking thinking he's going to do what my stepfather did. But I don't believe that's the case but I just honestly don't know what to do now. I'm just so lost. I feel helpless and I don't know why. Am I crazy or what someone please help me give me some kind of advice.

[AliasEQ]

Excuse me, but what a f*cking idiot(that stepfather). How old are you? I honestly think you should move out immediately and ignore him completly. Cause if he can do a thing like this, then I wonder what he can do next. I'd suggest you to move out to your fiances parents for now.

You already have anxiety, you don't need this sh*t. Stay away from him and it'll feel better. After that, you need to learn or find a way to cope with your anxiety.

Sorry if I'm a bit aggressive, but this pisses me off.

Wish you the best!

- Elias

[Dahila]

Well it happened twice.... Honey maybe your father in low was just masturbating like a lot of people do, men or woman. with the step father I can relate hell I do understand you. You lost your childhood in mere seconds... very sad, you did well to move out. Now you need to have your own place, where you feel safe. Is that possible?

BTw welcome to forum

[ab123]

Oh my gosh!! I'm so sorry to hear that,essentially it breaks your trust of people you just automatically trust and leaves you very vulnerable. My husband's grandpa called me one day and said I have something for the kids if you want to come grab it, basically lured me In the house, Sat me down confessed he's been in love with me and forced himself to kiss me. Even though he is a very old man it made me feel disgusting and still bothers me to this day because I have to be around him at family functions, I'm so sorry you went through that. If you ever need to talk pm me.

[sarah1493]

At the moment no I cannot have my own place. I'm only 20 and my in laws have actually been helping me get back into school and back in my own feet. Once my fianxe gets his permanent duty station u will be moving with him.

But yeah. I don't believe it was malicious with my in law as with my step father. What makes it worse with him was he somehow got my mother on his side with it. So it's become rather difficult to keep a relationship with her because she doesn't understand why I won't talk to him. But she knows what happened.

Many thank you guys very much for the advice. I don't have many people I can talk to about this, and this place seems like somewhere I can safely vent and express what I'm really feeling.

[sarah1493]

Oh my gosh!! I'm so sorry to hear that,essentially it breaks your trust of people you just automatically trust and leaves you very vulnerable. My husband's grandpa called me one day and said I have something for the kids if you want to come grab it, basically lured me In the house, Sat me down confessed he's been in love with me and forced himself to kiss me. Even though he is a very old man it made me feel disgusting and still bothers me to this day because I have to be around him at family functions, I'm so sorry you went through that. If you ever need to talk pm me.


I'm so sorry that happened to you, it is scary how quickly someone can change in your life. That's why i think it messed me up so badly and messed with my anxiety. How did you deal with what happened?

[ab123]

Well,I think I repressed it really. At first, then I eventually came to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault and that other people have a sickness they "can't help" kept my distance...time heals well...ive had much worse things happen too so I just learned to roll with the punches. It will be okay, eventually you will start to figure people out better, and that helps you feel like you have control again. Again, that is awful! !

[em1]

I'm so sorry you both had to go through with something like that,I think to happen twice to you is shocking,yes I agree the best thing would be to move out and get your own place tho I know it's very hard,is there anyone else you could live with if you felt you wanted to go? A close freeing or another family member?
Welcome by the way :)