male insecurity

[Jeordie]

I don't understand women. Seriously. They make me anxious. And insecure.

They tell me so many different things. I actually DEPEND upon women, somehow. The good periods of my life are those in which I'm appreciated by them. And viceversa.

I don't know if I'm appreciated or not. I would say, generally, yeah, somehow. But I'm not sure, you know. I always get that someone who doesn't really like me or see me in that way. That confuses me. Maybe I think about it too much.

Anyway. While I try not to depend upon women's judgement, I'm actually afraid I'm going crazy. I don't know, for example, a woman compares me to some actor, and sometimes I like the comparison, sometimes I don't. When I don't my life crumbles. Ok, not that dramatic. But I do feel very insecure and unsatisfied of being perceived in that way, in the end I say "who cares, she doesn't decide what I am". But I am so confused, indeed. Women telling me all sort of different things. I'm actually scared to know at this point. Sometimes I'm alright, sometimes I'm too skinny, sometimes I'm pretty cool and sometimes I'm a nerd. I don't have a clear statistic and you're probably wondering what's the problem.

The problem is: I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M PERCEIVED. So I can't act like one who "knows his stuff" because I actually don't. I see me in a certain way but sometimes this is not confirmed by these girls, and I wonder if I overestimate me (some told me "you overestimate you", as some said exactly the opposite!!!!!!!! I don't know who lied!!!!). I want to be liked, maybe I shouldn't care? I know I've been liked and I know many perceive me in such a way, but not EVERYONE, and this pisses me, because I never understand WHICH one. Women play tricks...

I'm pretty confused. Really. I don't know what I am and maybe this is the problem.

In facts, if I decide I am something, people see me that way. MAYBE. But I can't be a single thing all the time. So, what the f.

This is a major anxiety-generating topic of mine so if somebody could help me out with a "vision" or something, I would be grateful.

Thanks.

[setler]

Hey, just read what you wrote. First comment... women will never make complete sense to you, or to me, or to anyone else trying to "figure them out". I feel you, I hear different things from women all the time. I think one important distinction though is that they are more than a group we call "women", they are each individuals and obviously all different, so grouping them together will just make things harder.

I can definitely see that you have the potential to get around this, when you made such comments as "I want to be liked, maybe I shouldn't care? I know I've been liked and I know many perceive me in such a way".

If you try to figure women out, you are bound to fail, but what you can do is to figure yourself out. You can make yourself more flexible, so when women through different messages at you, they won't impact you as much.

And if you are trying to find an objective view of who you are... good luck, because that would be damn hard haha. We are all amorphous beings, always changing. There comes a point when you just have to let go of trying to control life. One of my best friends once said, "You are trying to control where your life is going, but sometimes you have to sit back and let life go where it needs to go". Hopefully you can find some wisdom in this.....

Good luck my friend. If you want to contact me, email me at [email protected].