I am wrong to feel this way

[chellebooka]

Hey I've had this problem for a year now and it eats away at me everyday I don't know if I'm right or am I wrong. You see 10 years ago I split up with someone who I love very much and still struggle today. My BF was there I talked to her all the time about how I felt and how much I miss this person. I don't want him in my life as it hurts too much and I've got to a point where I get on with my life regardless of my feelings. Anyway by the off chance my BF met him in a club and they became friends on FB. I found out and was devastated as I don't or can't think about him being apart of my life . There r photos of me on FB some really bad cause BF thinks they r funny and keeps them on there. Anyway I said I can't stop u being he's friend but u know it hurts me just thinking bout him. Knowing if shoes was on other foot I would say sorry but I can't be friends and leave it at that. She phoned me up not long after saying he's texted me what shal I do. I said I can't tell u what to do it's your life as the last thing I want him to think is that I am telling people not to be he's friend. She kept badgering me and I think it was cause she wanted me to say leave alone so she could tell him I had said that prob to make me look bad. I don't know but since this I can't be her friend. I keep thinking they are getting together and I feel hurt that she knows how much I hurt knowing he's there I just want him to disappear as I get on with my life easier. Short story am I wrong for feeling like this please advise because I don't know if it is wrong of me. Am I just being pathetic ?

[Enduronman]

Um,..In my honest opinion.
It was wrong of your BF to accept his friendship on FB to begin with.
It is her being selfish...considering everything that you've just shared with us..
UNLESS, this was her attempt at reintroducing him into your life, although through FB....
Maybe she thought that it would work like that, but obviously, it didn't because you're so hurt by it..
If she was as realllllll friend, you could tell her how that made you feel, and ask that she NOT be his friend on there....
Then, you'll know if she is or isn't your BF at all...and also you'll calm your mind and senses knowing whether she wants to be with him now or not..
It does not sound like something that a friend would do, unless, she saw this as a way to get you to see him again, two sides to every story of course..
No, you're not being pathetic..at times, I think that FB is more pathetic than anything at all. The social media craze, also creates unwanted sorts of craze too..

Just my thoughts..

E-Man...:)

[chellebooka]

Thank u for your words it's been driving me insane i feel guilty not speaking to her but I'm just so hurt I can't speak to her.

Thanks again xxx

[Enduronman]

I'm afraid that the best thing to do would be to speak to her,..to really give her the benefit of your doubt as to her motives. She is your BF....but how will you ever know that for sure friend?...unless you talk to her. :)

[chellebooka]

I did speak to her twice bout it come to think of it. First was I told her that after I found out it made me a have a panic attack. Then I spoke to her and said this is how it is. That is when she asked me what should she do when he txted her. She knows how I feel but chooses to carry on with the friendship. Think this is what I'm trying to say I've made it clear how I feel and she says nothing is going on but I don't know cause I think why ruin our friendship for this person who u do not know . She probably does now thou. I just can't speak to her and knowing that I have said all these things to her about him. U know how it is when u break up with someone . She knows my deepest feelings and how hurt he made me. I do feel confused really confused . I was just getting back on track with her. I do this I get OCD with guilt and it's always with our relationship. Stress stress stress

[GeneAllen]

It's been 10 years? I will post a song I enjoy, it may not be your style. I was married 23 years, and now 12 since our divorce. She happily remarried, and frankly it makes me happy that she is so happy. Of course this is my story. Per the song just replace her with "him". This is your way of knowing your peace is in letting go.

Best wishes and no there is not an easy fix for heartbreak. Be strong, Much Peace http://youtu.be/RBumgq5yVrA

I might add there is NOT a thing wrong with how you feel, think, but to feel bad about feeling bad is a trap that buries us in what becomes unawareness, as it sinks to the background of our minds.

[chellebooka]

I know it's been so Long and I wish I could forget but I can't . I've moved on I married and I love my husband a lot I just still love this person and it's heartbreaking cause I want to forget . Thanks I will have a listen to this song. Thank u for your
Kind words
I've decided to speak out for once as I would like to put this to rest as it really eats away at my energy xx

[GeneAllen]

I applaud you being brave and speaking out as you say. It's not so easy when in the midst of it all. Be patient with yourself. Peace

[mr.blanks1981]

Seems like he was right where he was supposed to be at the time it mattered, nothing weird about advice for lost love.

[Dahila]

I know it's been so Long and I wish I could forget but I can't . I've moved on I married and I love my husband a lot I just still love this person and it's heartbreaking cause I want to forget . Thanks I will have a listen to this song. Thank u for your
Kind words
I've decided to speak out for once as I would like to put this to rest as it really eats away at my energy xx
Hon woman tend to love for a very long time, I'd divorced my first husband 18 years ago, and honestly, I love my present with all my heart but I also have feelings for the fist one, after such long time together and children in my situation, you can not erase the past, it will be always with you. BTW every love is different, and very often we love the fantasy man, with the close up, it comes that he/she is a different person. Forget him, he was a loser to let you go:)) I wish you very happy marriage and many happy years:)

[chellebooka]

Thanks everyone for your kind words I know I will probably always have feelings for him and I accept that. It's really helped me come to peace with things

Thank u xx

[GeneAllen]

There ya go, yes you will. No need to not have really. Let it be there. It's quite normal.

Peace

[chellebooka]

Thank u x😄