Today really sucks for me

[ashly1221]

I've been doing pretty good since I started back with school, some days are just awesome and others aren't as awesome. Today was the worst day I have had in a long time. It started on my lunch break, I just started getting panicky for no apparent reason, I can't think of a thought that made me feel that way then I started worrying like oh no here it comes again, just fucking awesome, just what I need. I'm so sick of this anxiety already I just wish it would fuck right off. Sorry for the language but I am really just 100% sick of it, I really am. I stayed the rest of the day of school, I never missed school or work before, I always just toughed it out... so anyways I finished school early, we have an exam next week so she let us go early to study or whatever. So I left school and went to walmart to get some chocolate cuz I remembered last night my bf was telling me we had no junk food (he has a sweet tooth) so I got outta my truck to walk into walmart and all the sudden I felt like I was totally spaced out, just going through the motions but not completely all there, if that makes sense. So that freaked me out. That hasn't happened in a while and I thought I got over that, but I guess not. So I drove home, takes about an hour to get home from school and usually I enjoy driving, but not today. I just felt so out of it I wanted to pull over but then thought, ok, so if I pull over how is that going to fix anything, so I kept going, felt like forever. Then I got home and just feel so uncomfortable, I tried eating thinking maybe a snack would make me feel better...nope. Had a pepsi, thought maybe I just needed some carbs or something cuz I didn't eat much all day... nope. Went to look on the computer at funny pictures and that didn't help, watched some tv, tried to take a nap to kinda reset, couldn't sleep, and I am exhausted so that kinda sucks. Anywho, so then my man got home from work and I still don't feel any better. I just wanna roll up in a ball and wake up 5 years from now and feel ok again. This is just so damn frustrating and it's making me angry, to be feeling this way for no apparent reason. I just feel lost, and out of it, and uncomfortable like it's some bad dream and I am going to wake up or snap out of it and it doesn't happen. It really sucks. Any advice? And good advice? I'm just sick of feeling like I am going absolutely crazy and I don't understand why.... ugh.

[Kyle Morgan]

Hey Ashly, hope you are ok, I can relate to what you're saying, because I've been getting this on my way to College, It might be due to stress for both of us. Is school stressing you out at all? Have you tried taking medication, or have you seen any doctors or therapists about your Anxiety yet? Anxiety is such a pain in the ass, I sometimes get suicidal thoughts too due to my depression which pisses me off. When having an anxiety attack, try and focus on positive things and think of things that you enjoy, sometimes that helps me. Maybe on your way to College put some Music on that you enjoy or try any Relaxation tapes if you think their any good. Hope you're feeling better!! :)

[ashly1221]

I go to CBT and things have actually been generally getting better since I started school. With college it's just a different type of stress, but the normal kind that I can generally handle pretty good. I have GAD so I get worrying thoughts and just feel like shits gonna hit the fan for no reason at all. I don't take medication, don't like the stuff. I do have clonazepam that I have for a as needed basis. I have taken it 2 times in the last 3 years or so. I talked to my bf about how I was feeling since lunch and he told me he knew as soon as he walked in the door that I was having a bad anxiety day, I guess it was written all over my face. He made a nice dinner for us and is kinda trying to just be available for random walk by hugs lol I'm just at a loss for ideas. I go to therapy, I have tried mediation, it didn't help, school is normal stress so I really don't think it is that. Money is not an issue and I have support from my bf and a select few friends if needed. I'm just sick of feeling like this and was hoping people have methods that have worked for them that may have worked for me. I have meditation cd's my therapist gave me, but I definitely cannot listen to them while I am driving lol Today was the first time I've felt like that when I was driving. I usually listen to music and put my shades on and just sing my little heart out to pump myself up but it was just not happened today. Who knows, maybe today is just an off day..... we all have those. I just wish it didn't have to be the whole day, like I could splash my face with cold water and just snap out of it and feel better...