I'm convinced I have OCD, help please!

[Michael33]

Hi guys, I posted before about my anxiety experiences lately.. My psychologist believes all I have is a stress-related anxiety disorder which she strongly believes will go away within 6 months if I supplement properly with vitamins and get exercise and sleep. It all started because of all nighters and high high stress related to school.

However, the anxiety hasn't been bothering me lately, when I had a panic attack a couple of months back I thought I was having a heart attack, however the panic attacks never returned nor did the worry of having a heart attack etc. I occasionally worry about my lungs, but it's nothing that bothers me too much.
What really bothers me is this intrusive obsessive thought I've had ever since I started doing online research and I thought I had depression, one of the symptoms was suicidal thoughts - at that point it scared the heck out of me. However, for the last month I've noticed that the only time my anxiety is triggered is when the thought of suicide pops back into my head, or if I hear it on the news etc. I remember when I was getting myself off of ativan and Seroquel. I only took these for two weeks, and I had a vivid image of me cutting my throat and it made me have an intense fear/anxiety attack. Ever since then, it hasn't bothered me AS much, but it still bothers me because sometimes it feels like I'll just impulsively do it. Ever since I read an article saying that realizing intrusive thoughts are just your disorder playing tricks on you, I tell myself that whenever the word even comes into my head and it tends to go away right away, thus preventing any anxiety. I also had a violent intrusive thought while on medications that had to do with my mother, it scared the hell out of me but thankfully that thought didn't become an obsession at all and went away very quickly. Unfortunately though, sometimes I have random thoughts that always have to do with suicide, like I'll see a bottle of wind washer fluid and think 'I should drink that' then I'll move it away from me because it scares the hell out of me. Another thought was when I was in Florida staying in a hotel I thought I'd jump off the balcony, it felt very impulse driven as if I was going to get up any minute and just run and do it. It feels like I'm fighting off an urge, while at the same time I know I never will fulfill those urges because they scare the heck out of me.

I forgot to mention that these thoughts of suicide/related stuff will come around 6-7 times a day for the last month, mainly when I'm at home not doing anything to occupy my mind. When I'm out with friends they'll come around but are easier to get out of my head, sometimes I'll have 3-4 days where they barely come around, then I'll have them for 3 or 4 days strongly then the same cycle. However since I've stopped trying to understand them and just tell myself they are just intrusive thoughts caused by my anxiety, they've significantly gone away quite a bit. And I know for sure im not depressed, I still have a lot of fun when I'm out and I have a great life etc. etc.

I also started being more religious lately, I had ventured away from going to church etc. since I was an early teen, I'm 19 right now by the way, but now I tend to do the sign of the cross more often because at this point I'm looking towards anything that would cure me. I don't have any weird religious thoughts that I've read are common in OCD, I just started praying once in a while that whatever I have goes away.

I also have an obsession with numbers, that I've had for a very long time.For example, when I'm drinking water I'll take 7 or 3 sips at a time because they are my lucky numbers. It's only when I pay attention the the water bottle that I do this though, but I also do it with my TV volume sometimes eg I'll put it at 37. If I don't do it, I don't really care it doesn't bother me much though.

I know these are only a couple of OCD symptoms out of the many out there, but I'm afraid that because I've only had any issues for two months now that it'll get worse, and eventually become full blown OCD. I was only on medication for two weeks, the following two weeks I was on nothing, and for the last month I've been taking vitamins and excercising/practicing breathing techniques and I'll admit that I feel much better, I'm just scared it'll get worse or go back to how it was.

Can anyone tell me if this is OCD? I'm seeing my psychologist on Friday but I think she might have misdiagnosed me because I haven't had the disorder long enough or haven't done enough research to fully explain what I just wrote above.

[Fourteen14]

Hi guys, I posted before about my anxiety experiences lately.. My psychologist believes all I have is a stress-related anxiety disorder which she strongly believes will go away within 6 months if I supplement properly with vitamins and get exercise and sleep. It all started because of all nighters and high high stress related to school. However, the anxiety hasn't been bothering me lately, when I had a panic attack a couple of months back I thought I was having a heart attack, however the panic attacks never returned nor did the worry of having a heart attack etc. I occasionally worry about my lungs, but it's nothing that bothers me too much. What really bothers me is this intrusive obsessive thought I've had ever since I started doing online research and I thought I had depression, one of the symptoms was suicidal thoughts - at that point it scared the heck out of me. However, for the last month I've noticed that the only time my anxiety is triggered is when the thought of suicide pops back into my head, or if I hear it on the news etc. I remember when I was getting myself off of ativan and Seroquel. I only took these for two weeks, and I had a vivid image of me cutting my throat and it made me have an intense fear/anxiety attack. Ever since then, it hasn't bothered me AS much, but it still bothers me because sometimes it feels like I'll just impulsively do it. Ever since I read an article saying that realizing intrusive thoughts are just your disorder playing tricks on you, I tell myself that whenever the word even comes into my head and it tends to go away right away, thus preventing any anxiety. I also had a violent intrusive thought while on medications that had to do with my mother, it scared the hell out of me but thankfully that thought didn't become an obsession at all and went away very quickly. Unfortunately though, sometimes I have random thoughts that always have to do with suicide, like I'll see a bottle of wind washer fluid and think 'I should drink that' then I'll move it away from me because it scares the hell out of me. Another thought was when I was in Florida staying in a hotel I thought I'd jump off the balcony, it felt very impulse driven as if I was going to get up any minute and just run and do it. It feels like I'm fighting off an urge, while at the same time I know I never will fulfill those urges because they scare the heck out of me. I also started being more religious lately, I had ventured away from going to church etc. since I was an early teen, I'm 19 right now by the way, but now I tend to do the sign of the cross more often because at this point I'm looking towards anything that would cure me. I don't have any weird religious thoughts that I've read are common in OCD, I just started praying once in a while that whatever I have goes away. I also have an obsession with numbers, that I've had for a very long time.For example, when I'm drinking water I'll take 7 or 3 sips at a time because they are my lucky numbers. It's only when I pay attention the the water bottle that I do this though, but I also do it with my TV volume sometimes eg I'll put it at 37. If I don't do it, I don't really care it doesn't bother me much though. I know these are only a couple of OCD symptoms out of the many out there, but I'm afraid that because I've only had any issues for two months now that it'll get worse, and eventually become full blown OCD. I was only on medication for two weeks, the following two weeks I was on nothing, and for the last month I've been taking vitamins and excercising/practicing breathing techniques and I'll admit that I feel much better, I'm just scared it'll get worse or go back to how it was. Can anyone tell me if this is OCD? I'm seeing my psychologist on Friday but I think she might have misdiagnosed me because I haven't had the disorder long enough or haven't done enough research to fully explain what I just wrote above.

I would say that yes, it does sound like OCD, however the meds can also (in some cases) cause mild temporary psychotic symptoms if you have stopped it abruptly. I would explain fully what you have written here to your Psychologist (perhaps print this off). Without a full assessment by someone qualified it would be no different than diagnosing yourself with any other condition via google.

[Michael33]

Thanks for your help, I'll definitely tell my psychologist everything this time. I told her about my obsession with the word suicide, but I never told her about the thoughts in-depth because they're a bit embarassing for me - when I get off thinking these thoughts I usually feel perfectly fine and I just tell myself wow that was stupid. I've also self-diagnosed myself with almost every mental disorder previously until my psychologist wrote them off and told me I'm a hypochondriac, but I believe OCD explains me most accurately.

I was only on the meds for two weeks, but I did stop both of them abruptly one after the other because I noticed my obsessive thinking had started and gotten worse on the meds, plus the sedated feeling I was experiencing was making me feel like crap. How long do these mild temporary psychotic symptoms last?

[em1]

Hello there it's part of anxiety,some people
May say it's called pure O or a OCD to,I have had the intrusive thoughs and so many people on here have,it's your anxious mind,the book the imp if the mind helped me understand the intrusive thoughts a lot more as like you I was so frightened and scared by them,you won't do any of the things you have thought about,your not going made or turning into a mad person
It will get better
The Secret to helping yourself is let the thoughts come no matter what and how bad,let them come,give them no importance,as they are not important at all,they are what they are and that's just thoughts.every living person in he world has had them but we over think them and it fuels the panic and then we start thinking things like
Oh if I'm thinking it then it must mean I'm going to do it,NO your NOT it's just a thought and a lie that your anxiety is adding to the mix

[Fourteen14]

Thanks for your help, I'll definitely tell my psychologist everything this time. I told her about my obsession with the word suicide, but I never told her about the thoughts in-depth because they're a bit embarassing for me - when I get off thinking these thoughts I usually feel perfectly fine and I just tell myself wow that was stupid. I've also self-diagnosed myself with almost every mental disorder previously until my psychologist wrote them off and told me I'm a hypochondriac, but I believe OCD explains me most accurately. I was only on the meds for two weeks, but I did stop both of them abruptly one after the other because I noticed my obsessive thinking had started and gotten worse on the meds, plus the sedated feeling I was experiencing was making me feel like crap. How long do these mild temporary psychotic symptoms last?

The symptoms will depend on whether it is the med withdrawal or not, definitely explain in full to your therapist (usually people do hold back quite a bit at first), (often due to the fear that they are afraid of the outcome if they tell all). My best advise is be brutally honest with her, the more information she has the faster the diagnosis and the more accurately focused the treatment will be. Best of luck.

[Michael33]

Fourteen: I'll definitely take your advice, thank you for the feedback.

em1: I did read something about intrusive obsessive thoughts and to just let them come and to just tell yourself that it's the anxiety and that has helped me SO much the last few days (since reading that).

Thanks for the advice guys.