Anxiety and health

[Max mar]

Hi all, I'm new here and am in quite a predicament! For most of my life I think I have been in denial about having an anxiety disorder. I've always been social and happy but did have times in my life when I was a youngster worrying about public speaking, what people thought of me etc.. I have also had times in my life where I have felt very down n didn't know why but always assumed everyone felt like this at times. I was and still am on the surface very confident but deep down maybe I'm not.

Anyway from being about 8 years old I would have episodes of extreme stomach pain which I would literally be shaking, hot, dizzy, throwing up, panicking etc. This would happen any time anywhere with no apparent cause (although it would happen more frequently if I felt anxious about something but sometimes not). Dr said it was IBS and I had EVERY test available all clear.

Fast forward to nearly 3 years ago I had just given birth and everything kicked of majorly! I became extremely ill. Drs fobbed me off for months and I was constantly googling searching for what could be wrong with me. I asked for a thyroid panel ( which I was assured was not needed) low and behold it came back that I had an overactive thyroid which turned into underactive) I battled this up n down thyroid for 2 years and I am now off all medication and my thyroid is normal. They determined it was thyroiditis as I have no antibodies . They said it could of been a virus and I was just unlucky.

Throughout all this my digestive system is in constant pain, I've cut out every food group and an in the process of reintroducing. Had every supplement imaginable ( kefir, enzymes etc) with no improvement. They did find gastritis on an endoscopy but tested negative for h pylori so they put it down to stress.
I am constantly worried about my health and what's wrong with me and not trusting Drs after they fobbed me off after the whole thyroid thing.

A few weeks ago I thought I would entertain the possibility that I could have anxiety and depression and maybe this could be the cause of my ill health and pain rather than a result of it. After reading posts and symptoms I think this is a possibility.

I don't want to go on any medication but just don't know what to do next!

Anyway sorry for the long post just wondered if you all felt I was in the right place?

[Enduronman]

It's just an over active CNS Max...
If you're anti-medication, then do you have another plan?
If you've battled this your whole life, and a tablet helped you, then what's the downside???

Welcome friend!

E-Man...:)

[Max mar]

Thanks for you reply e man, I've just read my post back n think I may have played down my anxiety.
Think its time to be honest so here goes!
I constantly think about my health and any pain that's going on.
I am always second guessing myself
Always worried about what the day will bring
I have a constant feeling of guilt for no reason
Feel I'm never good enough even though no one makes me feel that way
I'm worried all the time about being a good enough mum
I dread going to sleep because it means I'll wake up n have to face another day of pain
I hate to say it but I sometimes think I should never have has a baby cos of my health (anxiety?)
I have often thought of ending it all to end the pain, trying to think of ways no one that no one would find out is done it as to not make anyone feel guilty.
I have no sex life with hubby cos I have no desire to ( he is very understanding)
I can never relax
Feel tense all the time
Tired all the time
I could go on!

Sorry needed to vent!
Regarding medication I have major anxiety about drugs and worry that they will make me worse or not work n I'll have no other options.

Glad I've found this site. If this is all anxiety it's amazing what it can do to you isn't it!

[NixonRulz]

Thanks for you reply e man, I've just read my post back n think I may have played down my anxiety.
Think its time to be honest so here goes!
I constantly think about my health and any pain that's going on.
I am always second guessing myself
Always worried about what the day will bring
I have a constant feeling of guilt for no reason
Feel I'm never good enough even though no one makes me feel that way
I'm worried all the time about being a good enough mum
I dread going to sleep because it means I'll wake up n have to face another day of pain
I hate to say it but I sometimes think I should never have has a baby cos of my health (anxiety?)
I have often thought of ending it all to end the pain, trying to think of ways no one that no one would find out is done it as to not make anyone feel guilty.
I have no sex life with hubby cos I have no desire to ( he is very understanding)
I can never relax
Feel tense all the time
Tired all the time
I could go on!

Sorry needed to vent!
Regarding medication I have major anxiety about drugs and worry that they will make me worse or not work n I'll have no other options.

Glad I've found this site. If this is all anxiety it's amazing what it can do to you isn't it!

Yes, you have an anxiety disorder but that's ok

Could be much worse things

A lot of anxious people have no desire for the meds because they fear the side effects

Its usually not the side effects they have, it is being anxious about the meds and they feel bad becasue of that

Then they will believe it was the med that caused the feelings

Most people will have very few reactions to medications

[Enduronman]

Hey friend,...
Everything that you just typed there is all associated with depression/anxiety and we've seen this 1000's of times and felt it too, you're not alone.
Having a major anxiety about medications, isn't reaaaalllllyyyy working in your favor because there is no "upside" here...because
You won't let it be...
You have to take that risks, because the biggest failures and losses of life (in general) are because we were afraid to take any risks at all...
In all rational, logical, reasonable sense...Can you get any worse? No..only better....
Many of us have had to take, that risks, to see what the outcomes were...with medications.
I have found 10 that work quite nicely for me but not just for anxiety, I have deadly diseases too...caused by, ignoring (everything that you just typed)....
It didn't just vanish or go away,...because hoping, wishes, praying, has no effect.

This is allllllllll anxiety with undertones of a somewhat strong depression.

You have to act here, not only for you, but for your family too...don't be selfish any longer (stating that in a very kind way)..

Meds, therapy, friends, family, this site,...make a change.

E-Man...:)

[Max mar]

Thank you both, I actually have had some citralopram sat in my cupboard for 3 months n have kept putting off taking them. I think because of my stomach pains I'm so nervous of anything going into my body.. Even food! It's such a vicious cycle as I try to be calm and positive when I try and eat different foods but nearly always have pain afterwards.

I don't know how to relax myself about taking meds as if I take them as I am I'm bound to have psychosomatic symptoms? Plus a part of me thinks I should find out the real cause of my anxiety to truely fix it.
It's like I've got two brains saying different things all the bloody time!
Maybe I have been anxious and depressed for so long lifestyle changes/ diet etc just won't cut it?

[Enduronman]

For most of my life I think I have been in denial about having an anxiety disorder. A few weeks ago I thought I would entertain the possibility that I could have anxiety and depression and maybe this could be the cause of my ill health and pain rather than a result of it. After reading posts and symptoms I think this is a possibility.

There's your answer friend...
No, lifestyle changes and or diet whether determined to succeed or not, aren't going to pull you outta this hole that you're stuck in...

Start the (citalopram) in half doses today, and eat some food with it too..everyday will get better and better from today forward. :)

E_man..

[Enduronman]

Plus a part of me thinks I should find out the real cause of my anxiety to truely fix it.

You will fix it, once you stop worrying about everything under the sun friend...meds will help remove that worry and fear.

E-Man....:D

[Max mar]

You will fix it, once you stop worrying about everything under the sun friend...meds will help remove that worry and fear.

E-Man....:D

I am a constant worrier! I stopped googling a while back as I have to know the meaning of everything! I have a lot of distrust in doctors so that's why I haven't taken the meds. I've read so much about how bad antidepressants are and my brain only remembers the negatives not the positives of what I read!

I've also got a question if you don't mind, I do smoke.. Only about 8 a day but I smoke more when I'm feeling bad. Would this have an effect on the citralopram? I want to stop but just don feel strong enough at the moment, it's my only weakness n cos I have such a bland boring diet I'm finding it so hard to give up.

[NixonRulz]

You will fix it, once you stop worrying about everything under the sun friend...meds will help remove that worry and fear. E-Man....:D

And Max, once you find the cause, it doesn't mean you don't get anxious anymore

Just because you now know what it was, that may help you understand how you got where you are

But it won't do anything to remove the symptoms you have trained your brain to have for so long

You will still have to find your way of addressing those things in the way that best works for you

[El Lukio]

And Max, once you find the cause, it doesn't mean you don't get anxious anymore Just because you now know what it was, that may help you understand how you got where you are But it won't do anything to remove the symptoms you have trained your brain to have for so long You will still have to find your way of addressing those things in the way that best works for you

Nixon is so right. Even when I had tests last year proving there was nothing wrong with me, I am still here with killer anxiety eating me up. Once your brain gets in that thought process it's very difficult to break it even when things are proven to be ok. There no magic bullet or switch that can stop it. Folk like us with health anxiety need constant reassurance from every possible source which will give temporary relief for a while only for it to come back with a vengeance. It sucks.

[Enduronman]

I am a constant worrier! Would this have an effect on the citralopram?

Bingo! I knew that....and no, smokes aren't going to affect and impact the effects of the citalopram because the chemicals work in entirely different areas of the brain....

I suggest, starting fresh and anew and giving them at least, a chance!...Won't know, until you try...

:)

[Max mar]

Hi El Lukio, I'm in the process of trying to chAnge my mindset but like you say I feel pretty much hard wired now. About 6 months ago I stopped going to the doctors and in my mind just accepted that what I 'had' would eventually kill me n I just gave up fighting it. I expected to feel better by not getting reassurance ( I never believed them anyway) but I never felt better.

Like I said I'm smoking again which is not good and not exercising as I have such abdominal pain everyday. I'm not getting all I need from the food I eat ( cut out dairy/ gluten/ fruits and certain veg as they seem to make pain worse) maybe it's all in my mind though.

I wish I could just have a breakthrough so that I can implement all these positive lifestyle changes but just feel to weak, scared, fearful to change incase the psychosomatic symptoms start.

I have an extremely active toddler to look after and daren't change/ start anything new as I'm scared ill end up in so much pain I won't be able to look after him properly.
All excuses I know!

Do you this citralopram may help in me breaking this cycle? Do you agree I'm too deep into this to simple positive think my way out of this?

[Max mar]

Thanks e man. Just need to get my head out my ass and face the fact that I need to try a different approach and try the meds! Still bloody scared though!