Need opinions

[TinaR]

Hi everyone.

So I've felt sad for a while now. But I'm not sure if its depression or not.
It started in grade 12, I felt stressed because of the whole college application process and family problems. I also felt sad because the guy I liked wasn't treating me right, so that whole year I was struggling with trying to get over him.
And then my first year in college started, i didn't have any of my old friends there, so at first i was very alone, but after a while i made friends and it was great.
I met this guy who became my friend, let's call him Patrick. It was then that i finally got over my interest in grade 12.
So Pat and I became closer and closer, he made me feel great. I felt like i finally had a best-friend on campus.
So that first semester went by with my studies (which were also very stressful) and during the end of the year me and Patrick got together and became a couple.
It was my first real relationship and everything was perfect in the beginning.
But after around two months things started to fall apart. We both made foolish mistakes that i don't want to get into the details of.
He started to neglect me, and ignore me, and it was because I had almost called it off at one point.
I told him that i love him, and he said he did too. Then one day he told me he didnt love me, he was lying to make me happy.
Later on in the summer we broke up, but i didn't want to. He said that we could be friends, but seemed reluctant about it.
When we went home that day, I was the last one to message, and he didn't message me the rest of that summer break.
That was heartbreaking. Having the person you love completely ignore you, and neglect to ask you how you are doing.
I felt this darkness fill me up, i felt like there was no hope. Nothing made me happy anymore.
After a while this past summer break, there were times that i did enjoy myself. But even then, i felt sad. Because i wondered, if its possible that i feel happy, he must feel happy too, without me.
And then second year started, and on the first day of class i saw him look and me and look away quickly.
he was treating me like a stranger...i felt those same emotions from the summer again. the day after i saw him on campus, and we spoke, acted like nothing happened. from then on i tried to be friends with him, sent texts, inboxes, but he always seemed so distant and barely replied.
And its like this still. i just feel like i am always waiting for him to message me out of no where. i still feel sad to the point that i can break out crying, pretend that im talking to him and tell him everything. i can't believe that the person i did so many things with has just disposed me like this. i cant go a day without thinking of this. i cant focus on my work. i cant be myself. i used to have so much more personality. i wonder how long it will take until i can be happy again and focus on myself.
I'm sorry if this post is too long, vague and scrambled, but i just wanted to get this out there, and maybe get some opinions from others who have been through a long period of darkness because of a significant other.
Thanks.

[mr.blanks1981]

Dropping people like a rock is cold, but both men and women end relationships that way because they don't know what to do and don't want to stress the details of confronting the inevitable. It seems mean (it sure isn't nice), but assuming he's not a sociopath, he's hurting too because he's ashamed he didn't have the balls to end things "correctly". I don't know the details of your personalities or relationship, but it really doesn't matter how sane or insane you are, or if you did or didn't do anything to "deserve" the cold shoulder. Everybody gets it, especially at the end of young relationships, ALL THE TIME. Women have done it to me, and I've done it to them (in my defense though, it was usually women I talked to once, got their numbers, and never responded to their [sometimes multiple] texts). There was nothing wrong with [most] any of them, I just didn't know what to do.

Bottom line: It's not personal, and it's not your fault.

[Pierogies99]

I was in a relationship that didn't end well, but this was before my full blown depression, and wasn't a major cause. In any case, yeah, I felt similar to what you feel. I didn't help that I still talked to her fairly often after that, trying to "win her back." Honestly, now I think it is better to go with a complete shutout when ending a relationship. Not saying to just ignore the person, but you need to make it clear it's over, and actually act like it. "Just friends" is crap and works for like 1 out of 100 people. Otherwise, it only prolongs the hurt if the person still has hope of the relationship continuing. You seeing him in classes is going to have a similar effect.

He was sloppy and indecisive with the break up, and you never got the closure you needed. You won't get over this until you accept that it is really over, and stop holding on to some glimmer of hope that things may change. Stop texting him. Stop Facebook chatting him. Stop trying to be friends with him, because you know that's not what you really want. The longer you keep doing that, the worse it gets. I know, I did the same exact thing you are doing. It took me a while, but I could have saved so much time if I shut her out from the start.

That being said, YOU ARE A GIRL! Go to a frat party and like 20 guys will try to help you forget. :D Seriously, find something other than school work to occupy your time. If you sit in your room at stare at his Facebook page your gonna be in for a long road.

I hope you can forget about him soon. Good luck!

Edit: Oh yeah. Delete his damn phone number.