Feeling unsettled today

[stp4779]

I went to my therapist appointment last night and talked with him about my recent anxieties over our new house and housework etc. He believes, and I do too, that the house anxiety is just the "occasion"... it happens to be the vehicle my anxiety attached itself to. He suggested there are other, deeper things that are the root of my anxiety and I believe he's right. Even though I feel more unsettled since I went to the appointment, I'm so glad I went because my therapist has a great knack for pointing out things that I myself can't seem to see.

I think I'm nervous about the "next step" in my life. My husband and I have been talking about having children, an idea that scares me. I do like the idea of having children and I love my husband to pieces, but I often wonder if I'll be able to handle it, with my anxiety and all. I'm worried about having to be off certain medications in order to conceive. I've had 2 bad experiences when weaning off medication and I'm scared it'll happen again. I'm afraid my meds are a crutch that I lean on and that I won't be able to function without them. I'm worried about "the future" which is a little undefined right now.

My therapist definitely helped me realize that I have anticipatory anxiety. I'm afraid of the unknown.

One day at a time...