winnwinn
02-05-2014, 05:32 PM
I have had panic and anxiety attacks that started REALLY bad back in 2007 after the birth of my first child. It was considered a 'postpartum anxiety disorder' that went years raging without proper help. My life seemed to get better by 2011 when I moved many states away back where my family lived, that was until I had a miscarriage in June 2012. The panic, anxiety, and depression were so bad that I had to seek help again, and surprisingly I finally felt better. The last time I had a panic attack was in June 2012, until I found out 8 weeks ago that I am expecting again. This baby was completely unplanned, but it is not a bad thing. My husband and I were planning on having another child one day, we just had no idea it would be now. So here I am 12 weeks along, and FREAKING OUT. It isn't so much over any particular thing, it more like uncontrollable pregnancy hormones making me feel as if I am going crazy. I feel almost like I am in a 'fog' and I can not concentrate on anything including my current college courses or driving. I can't sleep, eat, or do anything other than cry. It was REALLY bad in December but eased up enough for me to feel somewhat 'normal' for a few weeks in January, but now I feel five times worse than before. I feel like I am no longer in control of my life and like any minute I am just gonna flip. I have no harmful thoughts or anything like that, I just feel so helpless. My husband works all of the time and I really don't have anyone besides my 6 year old to hang out with, and I don't want her to see me like this. I don't have insurance to see a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist, I only have a OBGYN who thankfully is seeing me with a sliding scale fee system. I was told I could take the bare minimum of a Benzodiazapine I have been taking on-and-off for the last few years when my attacks hit, but it is not completely safe for pregnancy, at least in animals. I was told the benefits of the medication to me outweighed the risks to my unborn child, but even when I work up the nerve to take it, it doesn't help, not even a little. I can't be on anything else because of the fetal risks and I have a sensitivity to SSRI anti-depressants. I have done so much research on panic and anxiety, medication alternatives, and tried almost every relaxation technique ever thought up without any positive results. I feel absolutely horrible, and that's putting it mildly. I also have this tingling/burning sensation that starts in the back of my head and runs down my neck. Is this normal? I don't know how much longer I can stand this with the racing heart, shaking, lack of appetite, and the inability to sleep. Any and all words of encouragement would be great right now as well as hearing others stories and advice. Thank for reading!