Depression or Anxiety???

[TryingSoHard1979]

PLEASE BARE WITH THE PRELUDE BEFORE MY QUESTION... So I know I have been struggling with panic attacks(severe), and really bad GAD since 2001. I fought it for years and got better for periods of time for the next 5 or so years. Then I had a sever panic attack that eventually manifested into something different. I assume it was depression as I was crying and just felt something different from anything I had felt before. My body just did not feel right, and although I was not suicidal, I again felt so horrible that I did something I was terrified to do, and that was get on meds. All this started with a panic attack over taking an ecstasy pill, so I became terrified of any medicine or anything that might make me feel strange or panicky. So it was a hug thing for me. The meds took without any major side effects that I can remember and after a while I was out of that dark hole and even my anxiety level was way better. Last October I actually weaned myself off (if you can call it that) maybe a week or two weeks worth of weaning. I was fine until around Thanksgiving and had a bad panic attack. Over the next few days I started feeling what I felt was depressive bouts as well. I though eventually maybe things would get better and it leveled a bit and I was actually functioning at a solid 80-85%. Well I went to the DR and she told me she wanted me back on an AD to combat the panic and to also lower my dose of Klonopin. The thought terrified me, but after my blood panels came back good, and I still had almost a fairly constant anxiety and what I still assume depressive moments(days) off and on, I succumbed to try to fight my fear and get back on Zoloft. I started at 12.5 mg the first day and the second day 25mg. The third day I took .25mg as well, but something was going on. I was not sleeping over the past few day, no appetite, and I know those are normal side effects which I could deal with to an extent. However I started having extreme anxiety and panic, and felt worse than ever. After that 3rd day I stopped the Zoloft. It has been a few days of hell, and I now the anxiety all to well, but again there is this overall feeling of heaviness, and something that I just can not describe. I assume it is depression, but how do I know????? I know they coexist, but how can you tell if it is a symptom of depression independent from the anxiety? I feel awful compared to how I felt before trying to get back on the Zoloft. Is this just the Zoloft working back out of my system? Is this my body trying to readjust from trying the meds and then getting off? I am really struggling and am having a hard time functioning in Engineering classes and just with the basics of everyday life in general. Lots of my lil avoidance things like, feeling strange being alone, going to places I am comfortable going to (school, store, gym, ect.) have crept back in.. Why do these little things come back even after you have overcome them before. Sorry I will shut up as I know this is long and who the hell wants to read all this..... Thank you for any advice, input ect. I know I am not alone, but this is still so very scary and hard. Just trying to make some sense of it all..

[Saldav]

PLEASE BARE WITH THE PRELUDE BEFORE MY QUESTION... So I know I have been struggling with panic attacks(severe), and really bad GAD since 2001. I fought it for years and got better for periods of time for the next 5 or so years. Then I had a sever panic attack that eventually manifested into something different. I assume it was depression as I was crying and just felt something different from anything I had felt before. My body just did not feel right, and although I was not suicidal, I again felt so horrible that I did something I was terrified to do, and that was get on meds. All this started with a panic attack over taking an ecstasy pill, so I became terrified of any medicine or anything that might make me feel strange or panicky. So it was a hug thing for me. The meds took without any major side effects that I can remember and after a while I was out of that dark hole and even my anxiety level was way better. Last October I actually weaned myself off (if you can call it that) maybe a week or two weeks worth of weaning. I was fine until around Thanksgiving and had a bad panic attack. Over the next few days I started feeling what I felt was depressive bouts as well. I though eventually maybe things would get better and it leveled a bit and I was actually functioning at a solid 80-85%. Well I went to the DR and she told me she wanted me back on an AD to combat the panic and to also lower my dose of Klonopin. The thought terrified me, but after my blood panels came back good, and I still had almost a fairly constant anxiety and what I still assume depressive moments(days) off and on, I succumbed to try to fight my fear and get back on Zoloft. I started at 12.5 mg the first day and the second day 25mg. The third day I took .25mg as well, but something was going on. I was not sleeping over the past few day, no appetite, and I know those are normal side effects which I could deal with to an extent. However I started having extreme anxiety and panic, and felt worse than ever. After that 3rd day I stopped the Zoloft. It has been a few days of hell, and I now the anxiety all to well, but again there is this overall feeling of heaviness, and something that I just can not describe. I assume it is depression, but how do I know????? I know they coexist, but how can you tell if it is a symptom of depression independent from the anxiety? I feel awful compared to how I felt before trying to get back on the Zoloft. Is this just the Zoloft working back out of my system? Is this my body trying to readjust from trying the meds and then getting off? I am really struggling and am having a hard time functioning in Engineering classes and just with the basics of everyday life in general. Lots of my lil avoidance things like, feeling strange being alone, going to places I am comfortable going to (school, store, gym, ect.) have crept back in.. Why do these little things come back even after you have overcome them before. Sorry I will shut up as I know this is long and who the hell wants to read all this..... Thank you for any advice, input ect. I know I am not alone, but this is still so very scary and hard. Just trying to make some sense of it all..

You need to stay on the meds, even though you may feel better after a while. You can't just stop the meds you'll screw yourself up. Talk to your doctor. Never think just cause you feel better you could just stop your meds.

[TryingSoHard1979]

Man trust me I am kicking myself now. Especially since it is terrifying for me to take meds. Even though I had taken it for 6 years, being off of them for a few months made me really afraid to get back on them. I tried and after three days was having a horrible time. (sever panic, all day anxiety and feelings that I can not even explain). in hind so I know I was foolish getting off. Just not sure as to why I was having such a hard time getting back on as I don't remember having such bad issues the first time around.