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Smokewater
02-03-2014, 04:08 AM
Well, hey to you folks! I've never really ever given a forum like this a shot before and I'm not entirely used to talking about myself, but I figure if this is a place where we can bear all in hopes of finding at least a few thousand others like us, then I'll take full advantage of the opportunity.

Little bit of background about me. I was born and raised up north in Buffalo and about 16 years after that, I moved down to the deserts of Arizona. Since then, my physical and mental health have deteriorated to about this point. I'm fairly certain that I'm not dying, but I'm worried about pretty much everything my body is going through. It's basically like I'm experiencing a midlife crisis, but I'm only about 23 years old.

I've been struggling with depression for the better half of 6 years now. I was moved here against my will. I left friends, family and a budding relationship behind to be here with a family that never really talks to each other. I was never good in school. Bullying lead me to develop a need for friends more than success, and I became more of a socialite than a student. Shortly after my sophomore year had ended, my parents removed me from school completely. Again, against my will and without any say. I lost all the friends that I made and became a shut-in as the places we've lived haven't had much around them to do (It's the desert.) As the years crawled forward, I began developing abnormalities in my appearance. My hair is starting to thin, I'm noticeably balding. I developed cystic acne on my face, leading to a general discomfort about being in public. My depression basically crippled me. I felt as though I'd been dealt a bad hand, so I folded.

Fast forwarding to this past August. That's when the anxiety set in. I began to realize that I'd have to go out and grow up. I tell myself that all the time. You have to get up and do things. It all culminated in August when I started looking for jobs, starting feeling excited about getting somewhere. That's when negative thoughts started rushing forward.
You're NEVER going to get a job.
You're NEVER going to move out of your parents' house.
You still live there like you're 12 years old.
You're NEVER going to get your education.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into a month. Every day, I'd wake up to my adrenaline pumping. My nerves were shot. I'd never been used to that type of anxiety before and I'm still not. Since then, my heart's felt strange. That's no metaphor or euphemism, my heart actually feels strange. Even typing this, I start to think about my heart, my life, my mortality, the fact that at some point in time my heart and brain are going to cease.
What's coming next?
Heaven?
Hell?
Not possible, they don't exist.
Or do they?
Who am I to say?
Why can't I stop thinking about it?
I need to go outside.
I don't want to though.
It's too cold outside.
If you don't go outside, you're going to rot away in here.
But I don't know anyone out here.
Anybody could just kill me.
You're going to die if you stay in here.
Your heart is beating again.
You can hear it.
It's slowing down, no its speeding up.
Your adrenaline is pumping.
Now your heart's racing.
There's the palpitations.
The tightness in your chest.
Choking yet?
Does it hurt?
Is it a heart attack?
This is it.
You're dying now.

And then the cycle repeats. I think about my mortality, I think about the fact that one day the lights are just gonna go out. And I'm starting to feel like they might. I can't help but go on google and search for symptoms of heart disease. I wonder if my heart's finally failing, but I always reassure myself "You don't have this one symptom, you're fine." or "You did a lot of work today and you didn't even have to stop for a breath, you'll be okay". But then comes my brain, "No, your heart is giving out. You smoked too many cigarettes last month. Doesn't matter that you quit, your body's too corrupted." and I give into it, and I feel like any second my heart's just going to stop. My breath is going to catch in my throat, I'll lose consciousness and never wake up.

But I don't want it to stop. I don't want my life to end. I have a young niece I want to grow up with, I have a best friend whose been there for me more times than she should put herself through. I have a life that's starting to unfold, but I feel like I'm on the cusp of death just about every damn day. I just need to know that I'm not alone here. That these feelings are my mind being hyper-aware. That the shakes I get, the sudden inhaling to make sure my lungs are full, my heart beating against my chest as if its counting the seconds till it stops - are just my mind playing havoc. And that this newfound anxiety about my life and my future is just that; anxiety. I'm sorry if these seems over dramatic, I just needed to express my mind as best as I could.

Smokewater
02-03-2014, 04:20 PM
Thanks for the reply, frankiecfc! To answer some of your questions:

For me, the one thing that's always capped off that hasty inner beatdown has been me closing my eyes and attempting to count to 10. It's gotten to the point where I can't even do that. It's like my mind is on autopilot, doing a constant scan of my body and using everything I know and learn to diagnose itself. That's the WTF moment for me. It's like "Why I can't I stop you from being so active, brain?"

I haven't had any form of therapy, though I've been thinking about seeing a therapist to simply have a place to get all my thoughts out in the open, and to do it in the presence of someone who won't judge me too harshly.

I think it was a month ago now that I had a full physical from my doctor. He seemed to think that I was in mostly good shape for a sedentary fella. I'm 23 of average body mass, so I don't have too much wrong with me on that front. I've actually started doing as much physical work as I can. I tried taking up a job with my brother in law who's in contracting, hoping the long workdays with physical labour would help me break the meltdown cycles I have. It worked for awhile, and then he stopped giving me work. Now, I'm just operating on occasional exercise when my anxiety crops up. I try to do cardio as much as I can. It's my way of telling my brain, "See? It's beating faster than a racehorse and I don't feel jack squat." But then that cues up my brain to be like "Maybe we should take it back a notch, your heart's likely going to explode." I can't really win, frankie. lol.

But I'm willing to try out anything to get my brain back in the now. It's living with the idea that someday I'm going to die that's really got me spooked. I'm worried about the future, but I don't want to be anymore. My father's the same way, and he has been for awhile. His anxiety is much worse than mine, but he's also in his 60's now and doesn't have much time left. I've got a list of these common cognitive errors open as we speak, thank you for recommending them. And for welcoming me to the forum :)

I'll be sure to keep updated if the need arises. Thank you again!

janey
02-03-2014, 07:45 PM
I wrote you an inbox message, but I think you'll need to post a few more times before you are able to reply to me. :)

HockeyRules
02-03-2014, 08:23 PM
Hang in there Smokewater.......the best advice I can give you is cognitive behavioral therapy......CBT. It was already mentioned. You need to put to rest the I Wonts and the What ifs to take that first step.....have you considered a visit to a Physcologist or physciatrist ? The one goes the no med approach and the other with Meds. Both should be able to give you some good CBT skills in nailing down some misconceptions. Forgive my spelling.....not my best thang...lol

Peace

David

Smokewater
02-04-2014, 01:10 AM
I wrote you an inbox message, but I think you'll need to post a few more times before you are able to reply to me. :)

Just read the message you sent me. Thank you for reaching out! It's good to meet folks like me. Like I said, this level of anxiety is new to me. It's always been on the backburner and it only most recently came along as strong as it is. I still have my acne problems, and I'm pretty sure that they're going to go on for awhile. I'm hoping it'll get gone before I get too old. Last thing I want is to be 50 years old with all-caps acne XD

But regressing! I agree with what you said about how thinking and paying attention to these things can heighten the anxiety. It's hard not to. It's sort of like I'm being cautious, but it's about everything. Thankfully, though, the anxiety was at a point where I would wake up feeling like my heart was going to explode and my mind would race way too fast. It's diminished considerably. Now, the only problems I have are being hyper-aware of myself. It's hard to be self-aware and unable to disconnect from those thoughts.

On the bright side, it's enabled me to write stories and characters as a sort of escapism. On the not so bright side, I can now see why many famous writers were head-cases. lol.

Also, I agree. Speckled is a fun word.

Smokewater
02-04-2014, 01:15 AM
Hang in there Smokewater.......the best advice I can give you is cognitive behavioral therapy......CBT. It was already mentioned. You need to put to rest the I Wonts and the What ifs to take that first step.....have you considered a visit to a Physcologist or physciatrist ? The one goes the no med approach and the other with Meds. Both should be able to give you some good CBT skills in nailing down some misconceptions. Forgive my spelling.....not my best thang...lol

Peace

David

Hi david!

It was mentioned that I should see a therapist and I intend to in the coming days. I refuse to be medicated because I'm always so inside of my head that I worry about the side effects, like the ones that give you the wrong type of thoughts. I tend to self-medicate with cannabis. I always feel so much more comfortable in my own skin when I smoke it. My physician, however, seems adamant about reminding me that cannabis is an illegal drug, and shouldn't be used by anyone because it's "not medically viable". I also tend to disagree with my physician. 8)

But I thank you for responding, and forgive you for your spelling! My best friend (the one mentioned in the post) happens to be much worse than you. I don't tell her though. I can translate chickenscratch like a champ. XD

NeverToo...Fear
02-04-2014, 07:27 AM
Hey Smokewater, welcome to the forums !

Maybe dramatic from a normal perspective, but I think a lot of us here get it completely. That thought process you put up there; perfect. Our mind goes in these chaotic loops. We are spinning in circles until we get so dizzy, up from down isn't clear anymore. I've had my fair share of heart worries. It's beat so hard I thought it would explode too, and the fact that I'm still here typing this should reassure that nothing is wrong with my heart. Yet the next pain or strange feeling will come and all that reassurance needs to be found all over again.
It's like we are stuck, and we need to get unstuck; break that chaotic loop.. the loops get so bad it almost gets to like, what's the point? And that's a terrible place to be. Stuck in a hole and feeling you won't ever get out. Thanks to ourselves being SO hyper aware, getting to a less messed up state(our hand off the hair trigger) is the hard part; and one I'm still working on.

And obviously it's not fair with how your hair is thinning and the acne cysts, but if that was the hand you were dealt, you gotta just play those cards and make the best of it. Folding would be like giving up. I know that sounds like tough love, but if you accept yourself that that is the way you are, it helps. And besides, what is on the inside is what is most important. And if people can't see that, then they probably aren't worth your time in the first place.

But anyway, glad you signed up; You're in good company here.. :)