ibanez28
02-28-2008, 11:38 PM
Hey ya'll
My names AJ and I'm a 20 year old sophmore attending art school. I am very new to this whole forum help thing so bare with me. I've been a worrier all my life and last year (my freshman year) I experienced my first anxiety attack. It got better within a week but during the Summer of 2007 I experienced more and more anxiety attacks and thats where I stand. I've seen counselors at my school and they are helpful but I just feel really alone. My counselors at school have tried to talk to my parents about the panic disorder but it seems like they don't want to believe it. They never bring it up at all... as a growing teen of my time my relationship with my parents is pretty good but I feel alienated from them (which prob grew through drinking and smoking etc.). Its really difficult to talk to them about personal things and such which is not helping me at all. My comfort zone is very small with them. But thats not all.
The extent of my panic is this.... I have off days and I have good days. The stretches of good days are about a week where my mind is racing all the time and I feel "normal". But, then there will be days when my mind starts racing and racing about random things this and that... from the completley random to things that just paralyze me. The main thing is that there are so many things about us as people and this world I just don't understand and it just drives me nuts. I obsesses and think until I find my self completly drained and pretty much depressed. I worry about my futurs, our future, my past, our past etc. I have fears of never being happy and never finding things that will make me joyous, not just happy. I just feel like i need to escape, to find a central place inside my self where I can be at peace but I am totally lost. Between the thoughts of my well being, my relationship with my parents, the future of this beautiful world, my views on religion, jobs out of school etc. is just getting to a breaking point. I feel like I cant be part of the "norm", the 9-5, the pursuit of manifest destiny. I want to be me in a world where its hard to be yourself. And when i find myself answering these questions, others arise. It sucks when everything seems right, but never at the same time.
A.J
My names AJ and I'm a 20 year old sophmore attending art school. I am very new to this whole forum help thing so bare with me. I've been a worrier all my life and last year (my freshman year) I experienced my first anxiety attack. It got better within a week but during the Summer of 2007 I experienced more and more anxiety attacks and thats where I stand. I've seen counselors at my school and they are helpful but I just feel really alone. My counselors at school have tried to talk to my parents about the panic disorder but it seems like they don't want to believe it. They never bring it up at all... as a growing teen of my time my relationship with my parents is pretty good but I feel alienated from them (which prob grew through drinking and smoking etc.). Its really difficult to talk to them about personal things and such which is not helping me at all. My comfort zone is very small with them. But thats not all.
The extent of my panic is this.... I have off days and I have good days. The stretches of good days are about a week where my mind is racing all the time and I feel "normal". But, then there will be days when my mind starts racing and racing about random things this and that... from the completley random to things that just paralyze me. The main thing is that there are so many things about us as people and this world I just don't understand and it just drives me nuts. I obsesses and think until I find my self completly drained and pretty much depressed. I worry about my futurs, our future, my past, our past etc. I have fears of never being happy and never finding things that will make me joyous, not just happy. I just feel like i need to escape, to find a central place inside my self where I can be at peace but I am totally lost. Between the thoughts of my well being, my relationship with my parents, the future of this beautiful world, my views on religion, jobs out of school etc. is just getting to a breaking point. I feel like I cant be part of the "norm", the 9-5, the pursuit of manifest destiny. I want to be me in a world where its hard to be yourself. And when i find myself answering these questions, others arise. It sucks when everything seems right, but never at the same time.
A.J