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jimmy1234
02-28-2008, 06:20 PM
I met someone a few months ago & we seemed to "hit it off" from the beginning. She has mentioned her "anxiety issues" but nothing in depth & it seems like everytime we begin to get closer she w/ draws & I can tell something is wrong (I assume anxiety related & we usually dont talk much during this). Is this something I should bring up w/ her or wait till she brings up? Will bringing it up compound the problem?

Im sorry if this is in the wrong area, i know this is not a dating site, but Im ignorant when it comes to anxiety disorders
DainBramaged
02-28-2008, 06:28 PM
I met someone a few months ago & we seemed to "hit it off" from the beginning. She has mentioned her "anxiety issues" but nothing in depth & it seems like everytime we begin to get closer she w/ draws & I can tell something is wrong (I assume anxiety related & we usually dont talk much during this). Is this something I should bring up w/ her or wait till she brings up? Will bringing it up compound the problem?

Im sorry if this is in the wrong area, i know this is not a dating site, but Im ignorant when it comes to anxiety disorders

Hi Jimmy, You must really care about this person since you decided to post here.
Here is an anology:
There is a gorilla in the middle of your living room crapping on your couch. If you keep walking around the gorillia it will continue to grow and take larger craps, until the gorilla gets so large you dont even want to go in the house.

When you bring up the topic it may cause any number of reactions so be gentle and dont take any response personally. Then ask if she would like to see a couples therapist together with you so you can understand anxiety a little better.

Just my 2 cents. Good Luck!
jimmy1234
02-28-2008, 07:33 PM
That makes sense, should I give her some space while she is upset (if thats the right term) & then talk to her about it
DainBramaged
02-28-2008, 08:01 PM
That makes sense, should I give her some space while she is upset (if thats the right term) & then talk to her about it

Dont just walk away if she starts to panic. Ask her what she would like you to do and if giving her a hug would be OK? Just remember to not get hooked into her emotions, but acknowledge them. This seems like it may be unpleasant for you, I hope we can talk about it one day when your ready. I will listen.

Dont try and solve her problem, its her problem not yours! You are not a therapist and that can be a very dangerous road to travel. Just listen and dont get emotionally hooked. Guys are problem solvers by nature, but this is one you dont want to try and solve, because you cant.
gavin
03-01-2008, 08:41 PM
That makes sense, should I give her some space while she is upset (if thats the right term) & then talk to her about it

Dont just walk away if she starts to panic. Ask her what she would like you to do and if giving her a hug would be OK? Just remember to not get hooked into her emotions, but acknowledge them. This seems like it may be unpleasant for you, I hope we can talk about it one day when your ready. I will listen.

Dont try and solve her problem, its her problem not yours! You are not a therapist and that can be a very dangerous road to travel. Just listen and dont get emotionally hooked. Guys are problem solvers by nature, but this is one you dont want to try and solve, because you cant.

this is very true my wife just didnt understand and we would fight all the time but we got over that and iam all well now which is good the best thing my wife did for me was to help me when is was having a panic attack was to count for me when i was doing my breathing technque and going for walks
is god to