Is it wrong to talk about your Anxiety and Depression to people?

[Kyle Morgan]

I've had Anxiety since I was very young, I'm 18 now and I've also been suffering with Depression since I was 15. I had my first Panic attack last October on the home from College on the Bus. I have always bottled up my Anxiety my depressed feelings and suicidal thoughts until last year. I was afraid of telling my closest friends because I thought they would make fun or think I was putting it on. When I told them they were very sympathetic and told me that If I ever needed them, I could go to them, however quite a number of them have left and barely contact or acknowledge me anymore which has made my depression even worse especially because my parents have split up too. I felt like I drove them away by telling them I had depression, and before you ask, No I didn't always talk about it to them, I only ever mentioned it a few times.
The Reason I did tell my family and friends I was going through it was because I felt that it was getting worse and worse and I didn't know what to do with myself especially because I had dealt with bullies too. My mother tells me to try and not mention it too people because it can sometimes scare them off, the thing is though over the last few months I have found it extremely hard to try and put on a happy face especially when I get all these negative thoughts, It annoys me as well because if people see me moody, they think that I'm moody at them and that is not the case, it's just what I have been through over the years. I do think that me releasing my Anxiety thoughts by talking to people about it makes me feel a bit more relaxed and calmer especially when the person you're talking too has been there themselves and knows what it's like. What do you think I should do?

[Applecherry]

It's not wrong at all. The only thing is, don't expect them to understand you, especially when it comes to anxiety..depending on who you talk to about anxiety, you may get looked at as though you have 3 heads.

I have always had philosophical thoughts about "why do we exist?", "sometimes life scares me", I've shared this with family members..my sisters say "what have you been smoking?".. at least that's my own experience..I just always thought I was a weirdo talking about this, then online, I discover there is a whole world of people who think thoughts like this too..and then last year, I found out that frequent philosophical thoughts are tied to Post traumatic stress disorder (which I have)...

So, don't worry, you're normal, it's just a lot of people are not going to be understanding what the frig you're talking about unless they have suffered the same way..

as for depression, I think that is an easier one to talk to people about, sharing your feelings, venting to someone is a good thing.

Again though, when it comes to anxiety, it's not that easy sharing your neurosis with people..because it sounds weird to them, they don't get it.

[jessed03]

Kyle, has the way that girl treated you discouraged you for telling other people?

Personally I don't really tell anyone outside of very close friends and family what has gone on in my life. Excuses don't matter to people, they judge you as you are. If you're not on your game, telling people you have anxiety/depression won't change the way they see you for the better, so there's not to much to be gained from it, like your mum says.

Most people don't care/ don't understand. The sick are a burden, and a lot don't want much more than small talk with them when they know they're sick, unless you have amazing people around you maybe. In the past, I've just done the bare minimum society dictates not to be a freak. Turn up for work, talk about the weather, then skulk off home.

But, when you get into a community, a relationship, a group of friends, and they've already passed a certain standard for you to value them more than others, then I guess it becomes personal choice. Some of these people I've talked deeply to. Some have cared, some have been helpful, but truthfully, even most of these people don't get it, or don't wanna know.

Maybe you can whittle all that down and find one or two at the end that are still awesome, it's hard to say. Most of us don't come from the nicest or healthiest of places/families, hence our problems in part.

Most of the time we only wanna talk to people cos we have an extremely deep need to express something, or be validated or understood. Not too many in society are gonna be good for those things, deeper than a stimulated politeness on their part - though it's getting better.

That's why it's nice finding common ground like you do here. People do get it here, people don't judge, and people do still wanna hang out despite you being kinda 'sick'. Certain groups or friends with the same problems offer the same benefits as you've mentioned!

[jessed03]

I must say, that is totally just my opinion, based on my own life finding. Judge it by your own circumstance. :)

[Kyle Morgan]

Kyle, has the way that girl treated you discouraged you for telling other people?

Personally I don't really tell anyone outside of very close friends and family what has gone on in my life. Excuses don't matter to people, they judge you as you are. If you're not on your game, telling people you have anxiety/depression won't change the way they see you for the better, so there's not to much to be gained from it, like your mum says.

Most people don't care/ don't understand. The sick are a burden, and a lot don't want much more than small talk with them when they know they're sick, unless you have amazing people around you maybe. In the past, I've just done the bare minimum society dictates not to be a freak. Turn up for work, talk about the weather, then skulk off home.

But, when you get into a community, a relationship, a group of friends, and they've already passed a certain standard for you to value them more than others, then I guess it becomes personal choice. Some of these people I've talked deeply to. Some have cared, some have been helpful, but truthfully, even most of these people don't get it, or don't wanna know.

Maybe you can whittle all that down and find one or two at the end that are still awesome, it's hard to say. Most of us don't come from the nicest or healthiest of places/families, hence our problems in part.

Most of the time we only wanna talk to people cos we have an extremely deep need to express something, or be validated or understood. Not too many in society are gonna be good for those things, deeper than a stimulated politeness on their part - though it's getting better.

That's why it's nice finding common ground like you do here. People do get it here, people don't judge, and people do still wanna hang out despite you being kinda 'sick'. Certain groups or friends with the same problems offer the same benefits as you've mentioned!

Yeah in a way because I've had people like this girl tell me that I can always talk to them, The only reason I told this girl was because she would give me lifts to the college every week, but because of my panic attacks I had to do work at home, so I had to ask her if she could pick up work for me from the College. She kept telling me to talk to her if I needed anything, I kept telling her that she had her own problems to worry about, but she was like "Don't be silly, I'm glad you can talk to me and confide in me as a friend" But since she argued with my male friend, she refuses to have a close friendship with me because she thinks that my male friend will interfere again. I'm not expecting people to worry or care about me, it's just that I don't want them to be mad at me if they think I'm in a bad mood because I'm never in a bad mood with other people unless they do something to hurt me.
I do really want to try to reconcile my friendship with this girl, I want to wait for a few weeks until I speak to her. The thing is she did block me before on Facebook but still continued to answer my texts and talk to me friendly. I just want people to be understanding that's all and don't blame me for what I'm going through because me and a lot of people on here have been through a lot.

[leetbulldog]

I usually now in days I really don't talk about it with no one. I believe I learned it the hard way. Anybody that don't feel what you and I do won't put that much attention into it. so I rather not waste my time.. I just keep it to myself. People will only judge you. Rather then help.