5th night in a row

[shaggy82]

Im feeling angry, sad, hopeless, useless, doomed...

I just cant sleep anymore. I just lay in bed, thinking, feeling, wondering. I cant relax. And if i DO relax for more than 10 sec, i start to feel that my body has shut down and that my heart is stopping. I really hate this.. im so angry i want to cry!

All these nights i have woken up after only 5-6-7 hours of sleep. So im tired all day. But the second i lay my head on my pillow, i start the prosess of waking up. And it drives me maaaaaaaad!

Tonight i went to bed at 01:00. And at 03:00 i got up.. started on a topic here, but deleted it. And now im even more awake then at 18:00 earlier today. I dont understand it.

Its probably my fear of attacks that makes me so edgy, but i dont care what the reason is right now. Im angry...

I have some sleeping pills, but i almost got attack from using it a couple of months ago. So i dont dare..

Damn this condition.. aaaargh!

[ohokay]

You are not alone.

I know what you feel like with the constant 'if i loose control of myself i'll die but i need to in order to be healthy'

I go through that alot.

The thing I realize helps is putting on a show I enjoy, and put it to a volume where i can make out the words but barely. I lay down and close my eyes and just concentrate on the story line. (I usually pick something happy and relaxed) and the next thing I know I'm asleep. Don't let your mind go anywhere else but the show.

Another thing that I realize helps is just talking to someone. I go to this forum to see that people are like me and that I'm not alone, because that seems to be a big thing with us anxiety people.

So go get a good nights sleep, and if you need me send me a message and I'll reply asap.

[shaggy82]

Thanks!
I tried for 40 min more after my topic, and then i got up, watched "dirty jobs" on discovery and made me some chokolate drink.
After that, i fell asleep.

But i think the clock was around 05:00, så frustrating anyway.

I hope tonight will be better.

Thanks for the tip!

[ohokay]

Anytime! But yeah I used to have EXTREME anxiety about loosing control, about having nightmares etc etc, but I just had to tell myself that a life without sleep isn't a life I want! Even if it's 5 hours of sleep (that's the minimum number of hours I can sleep and feel healthy the next day) Another thing is an hour before bed I don't do ANYTHING anxiety related. I go out and hangout with the family, maybe watch I show I enjoy. And during this usually hour of time I only think positively. Theres a spark of anxiety every time I turn out my light, trust me, I feel your pain. But as soon as I lay there and listen to Fresh Prince of Bel Air on Nick at Nite (My all time favorite falling asleep show due to the constant same plot pretty much) I get VERY relaxed. And after a few weeks I felt so much better. So trust me, you are not alone. Theres even a scientific name for it (I forgot what it is). But yeah, just know you arent alone, and send me a message WHENEVER. I check this forum at least once a day.

Cheers :)